Have these people ever heard of adoption?

You couldn't be more right...

One of my best friends is a girl who came after a long line of boys in her family tree..That is all her parent's siblings and her parents had had all boys. Well, her mother was just thrilled that she was a girl, and determined to have the most fun dressing her and making her a girlie-girl...and it backfired hugely.

She despises her mother, and is very independent and avoids dealing with her mother to this day..and she's in her 30's.

Her mother will come over and try to get her to go shopping or have something such as jewelry or clothing for her...and she tries to explian to her mother that she doesn't care about that sort of thing and finds it irritatiing, but Mom just doesn't get it, even now..

But, yes....Mom wants and has ALWAYS wanted a little Barbie doll to dress up and play with...and her daughter has lived with that her entire life and has withdrawn fron the mother emotionally so far there's not really much chance of it improving.

The point here IS that it's not about Mom...It's about the child...The sheer overpowering self-interest that all this "gender disappointment" indicates is shameful as far as I can see....

I can't believe that they'd be depressed over this sort of thing. Disappointment, I can understand. DEPRESSION? It's your child for gods sake! Be happy with who it is.

And I feel sorry for the girls that have to deal with the overly-cutsey mothers too, as stated in above posts.

Having children is about raising a productive member of society, not about picking out a friend for yourself. They are with us for such a short time in our lives, anyway, before they're gone.

Right now I'm suffering from both good humor and journalism disappointment. Really don't know how to take this article. Why do some women feel entitled to have or even have to have children? Think this is more an issue of gender entitlement than gender disappointment. Society is really bugging me today....knowing the gender of our children so we can decorate the room before birthis almost as disturbing as marketing Christmas stuff before thanksgiving has passed. All children are pretty much the same till about 3. They all cry eat and poop and need to be loved. Rather than focus on gender disappointment...thinking the mom in this article has other needs that are more important like sleep, pampering and a day off. How is gender disappointment affecting these children?

This article got me thinking so I talked to my favorite lady about it. She said "got my boy and I am happy". Thinking the key here is to seek out women that like and appreciate men.

LouisRaritan - very insightful and and I agree with you. What the heck is wrong with people? People who get depressed over this really are blessed that they have no other things to worry about. Maybe this issue is little-talked about for a reason. It makes parents look foolish, spoiled, and trite.

I gave birth to preemie twins who had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (which can happen in identical twins.) When I found out I was having twins and the risks, I cried and prayed my babies would be ok. When they were born sick, I cried and prayed my babies would survive. When one had open-heart surgery at age 4, I cried and prayed he'd survive.

Gender was an absolute non-issue for me. I love my little boys and prayed so much they'd survive. I just wanted to be blessed to be their mother for a long, long time.

I suppose when everything is healthy and your life is otherwise going well, it's fine to complain about something so petty and ridiculous. But, if you're so dead set on a certain gender that you're going to get depressed if the other is born, maybe you should consider whether your mentally stable enough (or mature enough) to have children in the first place????

Bunch of whiners in this article. Wah. Wah. Consider your blessings and enjoy your children. I'd hate to see what will happen if they now don't become famous zillionaires and further disappoint the parents . ..

Lee,

Wow! Can't imagine what your experience must have been like. Yours is an amazing story and your children are lucky to have you too. I was aiming for an genetics debate but after your story I will save it for another day.

you want depression? How about the people that try and try for years and can't have a kid. Just be happy that you have a healthy child for crying out loud. What has this country become?

If these women are so invested in raising a specific gender child they should adopt. That is the only way to "get what they want".Parents should not give their children jobs to make them whole, so says Dr. Phil, and I agree with that premise. What would happen if that women's baby girl of her dreams did not share her mother's dream of shared scrapbooking extravaganzas or party dresses? Get a grip! Don't put your feelings of inadequacy onto your innocent baby.

I don't believe gender disappointment is often linked specifically to wanting to dress children in feminine clothing or do traditionally feminine activities with your children, I think it's more likely representative of how a mother sees herself. Many women see themselves as feminine and enjoy partaking in 'female things' (I am not making a conclusive comment about what is feminine and what is not), and in addition, want to be good mothers. Being a good mother is difficult, or at least, that is what we are lead to believe. Many women, including myself, experience anxiety before childbirth concerning the ability to be a good parent. With so many opinions out there concerning the subject, it's difficult to know where to stand - where is the right place to be on the scale of parenthood? I feel many women are momentarily concerned that they won't be effective parents to a little boy, and that's a huge mental burden to carry during pregnancy (and along with a huge belly, that can be a lot of burden). Obviously, anyone who is a parent knows that being a good parent has very little to do with gender, if anything. I can't demonstrate for my son how to urinate, but I can cheer for him when he does it with success in the potty. With all of that said, I think it's important to continue talking about issues like prenatal depression and concerns. If more women feel comfortable discussing personal experiences like this, it's likely that more women will feel comfortable seeking help for issues like postpartum depression.

Lee--You are absolutely correct--foolish, spoiled and trite, for sure! I also have twin boys and fortunately for me, they were born healthy & thriving. My biggest fear during my pregnancy was regarding their health only. I have all boys and my sister has all girls--I think God gives us exactly what we need! What a joy they all are! Bless you and your twins!!!

My own mother's first words after my birth were "Ahh, my husband wanted a boy!". I HATE hearing that story told at family gatherings.

Montanaman

That was me! We tried for years and years (seven total) and finally resorted to IVF! We were successful on the first try! Yipee! I couldn't have cared less what gender it was - we were having a baby - and that was the best news we ever got in our entire lives!!!!! That was eleven years ago! My life will never be the same. What a gift!

You can be as judgmental as you want, but that won't alleviate a parents' desire for that certain son or daughter. Most women just want one of each. I've seen women have 5 sons in hopes of a daughter, and another had 6 daughters in hopes of a son. It's not that uncommon. Imagine the poverty and attention deprivation that comes with households that large... all because Mom didn't get her little girl! Or maybe she does, but after way too many tries.

I think gender preference happens more often than parents will admit, and I think it plays a big role in family size. When I had my son, everyone would say, "Now you have one of each, so you can stop!" As if that was a perfectly normal goal... "to have one of each." A mindset so prevalent can't be combatted by criticism.

The solution is to make sperm-sorting technology a priority, so people can satisfy their gender preferences without having huge families. No, I don't think you should have a preferences, but the fact is, people do. So we need to address that. Sperm-sorting technology already exists in cattle, so ranchers can choose whether a male or female calf is conceived. We need to get over the ethical barriers and develop this technology in humans. It will not only satisfy parents, but reduce family size, reduce poverty, and increase the resources available to children. (Except, of course, when a large family is desired.)

JLM,

That is funny. Are you serious? What dude wants to make love to a machine so that some sociopath woman can get the desired gender baby? Whats next? Gender markers in male babies born after 2010 to indicate premium breeding stock? Will the less desirables have to get neutered and do Gregory Hines imitations from history of the world? I already have an awesome son and would have been just as happy with a daughter. The only reason I chose to comment here is because I find stupid people resting on educational laurels with bloated pompous ego's really funny. That and I choose to stick up for the lesser informed decent folk.

I can not believe how many people on here are so fast to judge. Every mother has somewhere in the back of her mind a wish on what sex her baby will be. If it wouldn't be that way why are there so many "gay haters" out there!? It is just that every mother or family deals differently with disappointment. I don't think it is right to judge or to suggest to adopt or whatever. It just shows a lot of people on here don't care for the feelings of others. Discussing this issue might not be important for many people but it is important for some, and why not see the needs of everybody.

Isn't that people here enjoyed crucifying an individual perspective. Is more an issue of where the head goes.....the body follows. If our elite have opportunity and education as well as enjoy the benefits of technological designer babies....how will the rest of the world see us? All I could think of here is watching Iraqi moms carrying a kid under each arm and one on the tit while balancing a propane tank on her head. While the author of this article types on a laptop from the comfort of her $1.5 million card board box the rest of us deal with life as it comes. Wish the mom in this article would use her education, privilege and opportunity to actually benefit human kind on this planet. There is a reason and purpose that we are all here together. That said.....have a good weekend.

I don't see this as ANY diferent from the men who are disappointed when they have daughters.

Hell, I knew a woman whose husband told her the baby (their first) BETTER be a boy because he "didn't make girls".

I also knew another man would wouldn't ever pick up, hold, change, bathe or pay attention to his daughter because he wanted a son.

So it cuts both ways.

Then there are the people who tell pregnant women they hope they have boys because girls are a pain. Riiiight. Boys are never difficult. Ever. Nope.

Gender preference is pervasive all throughout society, on both sides.

JLM-so people who say you got one of each and you can stop are wrong for doing so but it is okay for you to decide how many kids are too many? I know a couple who have 10 children. Everyone at work constantly makes comments about how they are depriving their children, that those "poor kids" can't possibly get enough attention from their parents, and that they shouldn't have that many kids since they don't have that kind of money to support them. Well, I made an attempt to get to know them and have found that their children are some of the happiest, healthiest kids and are always clean, dressed neatly (and yes, many of the clothes were purchased used but I wouldn't KNOW that if she hadn't told me), and have plenty to eat. They grow a large garden and raise a few animals and the kids have some nice toys and video systems as well. The family works as a team to save for these things and the kids appreciate what they have as opposed to my other coworkers' kids who never seem to be satisfied in their quest for the latest and most expensive. When my friend has a long succession of boys being born, everyone said "Oh, how stupid and selfish. She's going to try until she gets another girl!" but she had another girl and then another boy after that because she and her husband just love kids. There is nothing wrong with that, despite what society says.

On the contrary, another woman I know limited herself to having 2 kids even though she and her husband are fairly wealthy (and she doesn't work). When she had her second child and it was a boy, she was disappointed and joked about how sometimes she would dress the baby in girl clothes. He is now in his late 20s or early 30s, is an alcoholic and drug addict, and has a very distant relationship with his mother.

My husband and I have three girls. We completely delight in them, but we both have moments feeling sad that we will never have a son together. Not sure I would call it 'gender disappointment' though. More like thoughts of 'what might have been.'

Having daughters doesn't stop my husband from taking our girls fishing and doing other 'boy' type activities, though. :)

Get over yourselves. You have children and THAT is a blessing. Maybe instead of whining about what you don't have, you should find the joy in what you do have.

Blondmom-

I agree with you. I think the "gender disappointment" could also be true for women who never had a sister or a mother growing up. Perhaps they see in a daughter the opportunity for a close female family bond they haven't experienced.

If I had three sons and was disappointed I never had a daughter, you could guarantee I would never write a book about my disappointment. I'd hate for my kids to have any reason to think I didn't want them or I loved them less. Perhaps it's time for these women to spend more time with their nieces or volunteer with a "big brothers, big sisters" program.

I am the author of the book ALTERED DREAMS. Be rest assured my boys know I love them more than life itself. They know that I wanted a daughter in ADDITION to them, not INSTEAD of them. So, where someone else may not have written a book like this, I did so that others can know that their feelings are validated. Having my boys IS a blessing. Gender disappointment is not about that. It's about the child that you thought you would have in your life, that you do not. Every day I am thankful to God for my boys. Even through my problems getting pregnant and staying pregnant, I still had a preference. My boys are my life. Each person that has GD thinks this way as well. We all have a preference. :) I wanted to parent both genders, but I have only sons. That does not make me a bad mother, or an uninvolved one. It makes me human.

Sincerely,

Kathy Asbery

kasbery@msn.com

Adopt a girl and then you can parent both genders.

Kathy - there is no need to explain yourself. Some people will never understand the point you made, it is an issue with their IQ, which is ok, I respect their limitations, and I hope you can too.

I know a family who has five girls, they finally gave up trying for a boy. And just yesterday I heard that this family with seven boys finally got there little sister. That there are people who have this many children without being superhuman or millionaires shows me that there is and was a need to discuss this issue.

Thank you onetearofjoy for your understanding.

There are so many things mothers are not allowed to 'confess' without opening themselves up to all sorts of pain. It is good to address them.

My own 'dirty little secret' is that I loathe being pregnant. I love my babies, just hate the process it took to get them here. Frankly, the 'you should be grateful to be pregnant at all' guilt trips did not help me deal with the misery of pregnancy in any way, shape or form. Good friends (and a mother who also detested being pregnant) gave me the support and love I needed to work through such 'unnatural' emotions. Suppressing them the way I did during my first pregnancy was unhealthy.

I can understand a mom (or a dad, for that matter) hoping for a girl or a boy, but a healthy parent-child relationship calls for realizing the blessing of any child, and moving on. I think a good idea for a parent who always hoped for a particular gender child and feels disappointment in not having that relationship would be to nuture a special bond with a niece or nephew or a Godchild, or become a "big-sister" or "big-brother" to an at risk child or needy neighbor child. There are so many children in this world who are in need of caring adults in their lives, that it should be pretty easy to find a child in need of companionship who is of the preferred gender, and a life long relationship can be enjoyed with that child, as the person also feels the good feeling of helping to make a difference in a child's life. Also, for those who are able, adoption is a wonderful gift to give a child.

agree parents need to stop stereotyping their kids before they are even born, girls can be great at shopping with their moms but still go out and work on the car with dad and boys can work on cars and play sports and still enjoy baking with mom.

Agree with both. And personally, those are disappointments that should NOT be shared with anyone.

I mean, would you want your parents to have made it known that they'd have preferred if you were someone else???? I mean, that's just wrong to do to a child. They are a gift and it's too bad that people don't cherish them as much as they could.

good for you katei have 4sons,i love them all.i would liked to have a girl,but i was never disappointed that i had sons.they were all healthy ,that is what counts.

I think most mothers are not so much disappointed in the sex of the baby but the fact that they don't get the challenge to raise both sexes.

Wow...quite a rant.  I can tell that YOU are still hurting over your father's 'rejection of you...and it has made you a judgemental and angry person.  I hope you don't carry this burden for the rest of your life because it has made you an angry and sad person that you felt the need to pile it on the author of this book.  Your post was over the top.  This woman is human; she was honest about her feelings and her pain; and she has gotten through it and gone on to be the best Mom that she can.  I am sure her sons feel loved.

wow, crone, you play the victim well. You had a father who TOLD YOU HE LOVED YOU and you still complain? Wah, wah, no he didn't! Did he abandon you? Beat you? Tell you he hated you? No, he proclaimed his love. He cared for you, raised you, gave you food, a roof over your head, in addition to his love. Do you know how many children in this world NEVER get to hear they are loved? You find the author sick? That's ironic.

That is exactly how it should be - thank you for a "beautiful" post.

That's really sweet, itgranny, thanks. The only thing you can't do is play dress-up, or force them into little girl beauty pageants (well, I guess you could...)

These days, anything else is appropriate to share, regardless of gender.

Clotho-

They have little boy beauty pageants. The show "Toddlers and Tiaras" once featured a mother who put her two sons in pageants. She was very vocal about the fact that she wanted a girl and doing pageants was her way of pretending she had a daughter. She was awful.

Aargghh! That is "Scary Pageant Parent" to the nth degree!!! Those poor boys will probably be so messed up. Yikes.

Yes, and then there are children who are told they are loved, and spit in their parents' faces, crying about how wronged they are.

Wah, I'm a victim! He said he loved me! But I know better! Wah!!!!!!

Who says it's ok for men to want boys? Both parents should be thrilled and thankful for either a son or daughter. If not, maybe they shouldn't be parents.

I have two boys and adore them. My boyfriend has one grown daughter that he adores. He's never spoken about wanting a boy; he's happy with the wonderful, successful daughter he's got.

No matter what year it is, I don't think there's EVER a good time to make it known publicly (which WILL get back to the child) that you are disappointed in your child and wish they were someone else.

How would you feel if you spent your life knowing your parents actually didn't want you and were so disappointed in your arrival into the world and beyond, they suffered from depression????

What's a good year for that/??????

Man, do you have it backwards.  Do you really believe that you would see a sympathetic article from the AP reporting that men are sometimes depressed because they have a desire for a son? They would be labeled selfish, and engaging in gender stereotypes.  End of story.  Women?  They are often held to a different standard.

That's where you have it wrong, Lee. I am not disappointed in the children I HAVE. I am disappointed i will not parent a daughter. Big difference. :)

I figure that I know what childbirth feels like so a hit to the testicles can't possibly be worse then that! LOL

Well, I imagine most males don't get kicked there for twelve hours straight... LOL

So, the only reason you want to have a girl is to have "period talk"??? That sounds actually nonsensical.

And guess what? Girls and boys do have things in common. I have two beautiful boys (who don't disappoint and depress me - I ADORE THEM!) and we play games and talk about movies and books and play at the park.

Amen Lee.

that's what I like to hear!

AJK-it was exactly the same for me- all sisters and female relatives. I have had a great time getting used to my sons and we have a great relationship! I'm like you-I wanted two children and the fact that I got two boys makes no difference to me.

When I had my first baby I was thrown through a loop - because I'd never had a newborn before.

I am one of 3 children.  I have an older sister (first born), I'm the middle child and I have a younger brother. My brother was born with severe down's syndrome. My parents got their son but unfortunately he was very, very sick and after 3 years they turned over custody to the county. My father left us when me and my sister were very young, got remarried and now he has his son. He doesn't have much to do with me or my sister and I don't really want anything to do with him. I went on to have 2 children (sons) and I couldn't even imagine for a moment ever having been disappointed because of their gender. I really am just so glad their healthy and happy. People can be so disappointing :(

That's right, Aidentin. And you NEVER know what your future will bring. My kids were born sick and spent 5 years sick. (We nearly lost them more than once early on.) That they are healthy and beautiful and funny and love life is ALL That matters.

I sure wish my biggest problem was that there was something about them I didn't like. Instead, I loved them so much, I worried every day for years I might have to give one back to God.

Children are a blessing and so many people with small problems don't seem to be aware of that.

I can't agree with you more! With so many people unable to have children and so many children growing up in foster homes, why can't these people just be happy with what has been given to them? Very sad!

Agreed with both. So sad. Can you imagine actually admitting you're disappointed that your child is not someone else??? I can't imagine loving my children any less than I do for any reason.

I completely agree. 5 years ago my husband and I started our infertility journey and were told from the 1st round of testing that we had less than a 1% chance of conceiving with my eggs. I had premature ovarian failure. Fast forward to now... I have a 4 year old biological son, an 8 month old son from donor eggs, and am 21 weeks pregnant with son #3 - a wonderful biological surprise! I am SO grateful for my three boys, I cannot find words great enough to match the gratitude. I am a PROUD boy Mommy and I'm eternally grateful to have been given these gifts, when at one point I never thought I'd be a Mommy to any child. I would have been just as happy if they had been all girls or a combo of boys/girls.

Too Judemental? HAH! When I see articles like this, I see women who have not had to deal with much adversity in life. To me, they seem like very immature and small minded individuals that are having a toddler's fit because they didn't get exactly what they wanted. Actually, Spoiled Brat is what immediately comes to mind.

You know what? Try having 'gender disappointment' after having round after round of infertility treatments and after having to inject yourself with hundreds of needles, take pills, and stick hormone patches on your body in order to have a child of ANY gender. Get over it, ladies! There are much worse things in life to stress over.

That's like saying girls can't be fun. :-|

Not what I meant...of course girls are fun. I've had loads of fun with my beautiful nieces. But I was a very girly girl, in spite of ALL those brothers, and my son opened up a new world for me. Sorry I misspoke!

may god bless your son and bring him home safe.you and your husband raised a wonderfull son god blessed you both.

Given the nature of this article, I thought I would be able to get all the way through the comments before encountering a swear word. Fortunately this site encrypts the worst ones. I remember reading a quotation one time that was: "Swearing is a vain attempt of a weak mind to express itself." I think you proved the point.

My guess is you voted for Obama.

HOW is the president relevant to this conversation??? Are you one of those haters who blame him for everything...including people not getting the baby they "ordered"?

Actually I am not sure how that got there! My response to her was two fold. One, Amber, I am the one who put the symbols in there so as to not offend the easily offendable. Second, your quotation is simplistic and silly. I wonder what Adams, Franklin and every coach I have had in my life would say to that matchbook psychobabble. Finally, and this is the most telling, you talk about the "nature of the article" suggesting somehow the content should be free from criticism. Of course you do. There are countless people who would love to parent a child of ANY gender nevermind going into histrionics because they were not able to fulfill the fantasy of playing dress up with their daughter. This is soooo amazingly self centered in its scope that only one with similar mindset could defend.

As for you, Carolanne, no I am not a hater of Obama and, no, I do not blame him for not getting the baby they ordered. What a mindless comment. Obama is, however, proving on a daily basis that running for something is far different that governing. Real life is not lived on a teleprompter.

Your first mistake sir (or is it madam?)was guessing who she voted for. Your second mistake was bringing politics into it.

All sight and no vision.

Congratulations, ksweeney. You were able to express your thoughts - although a bit off topic - without any obvious vulgarities. Keep up the good work.

Amber it's sad you give so much power to words.  And quite elitist because the premise of swear words is that the "wrong kind of people" utter them. 

Sashay: Lots of people use swear words. I don't distinguish between right or wrong people because that would be a subjective judgement. Why do you say "it's sad" to give so much power to words? Words are all we have to communicate with, and I maintain my belief that most people are capable of conveying a message without unnecessary, crude adjectives. (He learned, didn't he?)

Excellent point. I agree 100 percent. This was a very disturbing article to read. The most disturbing part was to read that the woman who felt "gender disappointment" was a clinical psychologist and wrote a book to validate her state of mind. Indeed, she needs a therapist if it has been three years and she continues to feel that way.

My biggest concern is that one day her son will be old enough to read what she wrote. How will that make him feel?

nm09...Do you know me? I am the author of ALTERED DREAMS and if you have even looked at the copy, it is all about how much I love my boys and my walk with God in learning my role as a one gender mother. I appreciate your view, but until you read the book, do not judge me. My boys are very confident in knowing how much I adore each of them. They know they are my life. They also happen to know that I wanted to parent a daughter as well. My youngest son will always know how he completed our family. Just as he is.

Again, Crone- your ugliness appalls me.

PPD is real, should not be discounted and I would be suprized to find out that the subject is taboo. HOWEVER, I do take exception to your suggestion that I should be ashamed for thinking those who "mourn" (I thought this term was reserved for a death...words to have meaning) because of not getting what they WANT instead of being GRATEFUL for what they GOT. I can understand wanting a gender of each child, but to "mourn" the birth of the "one that got away" is, to me anyway, narcissistic.

"Any time someone comes forward with an otherwise taboo emotion they should be applauded and this subject is about as taboo as it gets"

Sorry, I don't agree with this.  We are not living on an Oprah or Ricki Lake show, this is real life.  Some emotions are taboo because they are just evil (pedophilia, desire to rape & kill, etc), some are taboo because to express them, as in this case, is just cruel (because your child WILL find out, and how devastating.)  Seriously, which is more important: your emotional need to fill some void in your psyche by venting your "gender disappointment", or the emotional wellbeing of your child who will someday find out that you didn't want him?  It should be taboo, and you should be ashamed. 

It's not ALL about you and your "emotions."  Fleeting disappointment is one thing, obsessing over it, getting depressed, etc. is selfish and harmful to the child, and disturbing to others.  Only in this me, me, me society would this kind of thing even be discussed.  Next we'll have support groups for people who can't cope with the coffee shop running out of their flavor of latte syrup or who feel compelled to shoot at people that try to merge in front of them in traffic.

How dare you say that you mourned for a girl. We just went through a miscarriage, and I still mourn for that child. Disappointment is going for an ultrasound and finding out that your child does not have a heart beat. Disappointment is what friends of ours have gone through, trying month after month to have a child only to find out that it will never happen. What you felt when you had the "wrong" gender is something that I would kill for. Leaving the hospital without a baby in your arms is the worst feeling I have ever experienced, and you should be thankful every day that you never had to feel it, not saddened that you had the "wrong" baby! You disgust me.

We are pregnant again and I could care less what gender this baby is. As long as "it" develops a heartbeat, is carried to term and is healthy I will happy whether its a boy or a girl.

For the record, I have suffered from depression in the past. I agree that PPD is real and is a horrible disease. I do offer you sympathy for that, but not for the rest of your post.

I have read something that has me even more upset at this ridiculous story than before. Go out to Facebook and search for "Noah's Christmas Wish" then tell us about your "mourning" about not getting the gender you so desperately needed.

I am absolutely not ashamed to opine that "gender disappointment" is nothing more than selfish nonsense! This article is not referring to a passing "feeling" of disappointment but trying to say its a psychological disorder? Give me a break!

My mother STILL tells the story of her being disappointed that I was a girl and I'm 41 yrs old! Its not a disorder of hers, just a lack of basic maternal instinct!

ANDY no one should ever feel that they are unworthy of LOVE.

i sure hope you have overcome that notion.A CHILD is a precious gift from GOD.and should be treated as such.

Andy--You are not the one who is unworthy, your mother is. At least you know that you will not inflict this on any child you have/may have, right?

Thanks for the kind words. It took years for me to come to grips with it and in the end, I forgave my mother. Reading this article was hard for me though. I myself now have 3 children, the first 2 being girls and the youngest being a boy. When people asked me if the reason why my wife and I had a 3rd child was to try for a boy, I would just shake my head no.

don't feel bad, my wife and I have been trying for nearly four years no luck, tried, insemination, medicinal treatments, everything but IVF yet, but like I tell her everytime, when ever the Lord feels were ready...