Actually, your middle, later years can be your happiest, new research says
Article Source: msnbc.com
from:msnbc.comIs the mid-life crisis just a myth?
Seeded on Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:37 PM EST (msnbc.com)
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Life is what you make it at any age.
Yes life is what you make of it so go watch 4 hours of "News" then shoot yourself in the face knowing most of it is real. orrrrr....pretend everything will work out ok wich is what Americans are historicaly good at. Kind of hard to do when your hungry though.
miss your pill?
the Great Recession, courtesy of the last administration, has certainly made middle age a lot less fun for my wife and me -- in fact, it has made it down right stressful
As I am about to turn 50, I think the term "mid-life crisis" is accurate; however I also think that these days we have more options than before. It's not unusual for someone who's kids are grown to start thinking about what we'd like to do with the rest of our life, and we have the resources to do so. I'm thinking about a second career, I'm not ready to retire just yet (and can't afford to anyway). I think again, that for someone who maybe DOESN'T have the resources either for a comfortable retirement or a second career, that the mid-life crisis could be very real. It would be easy to see this as "nowhere to go but down," and that's depressing no matter how you put it.
Mid-Life crisis is nonesense!---- When you are young you can't afford to let your desires dictate------when you are old, your body won't react to your desires.
Now, at so called mid-life, you have shed off the financial burden of rearing kids and find yourself with spare cash----------"What a hell of a good time to act out your fantasies." ------------I did!!!
I think research is a myth. Figures lie and liars figure. Life experiences and perceptions are very individual. Generalizing after 1500 surveys (self-reporting is never accurate) is bad science. Of course, the social sciences (and most physical sciences, particularly biology) are not true sciences, anyway.
Otherwise, good comments about empty-nesting and better availability now than 40 years ago. Can't generalize this across the socioeconomic spectrum, though. Lots of folks working (out of necessity) until they can't anymore, or they die.
Life is what you make it, but some don't have a lot of ingredients to make it from.
I can't wait until I'm 40 and I can stop worrying about how I look and just eat a god forsaken brownie if I want one! ha ha. Looking forward to it.
I hate to disappoint you , but when you're 40 you're WAY MORE worried about how you look and brownies do WAY MORE damage.
The "crisis" is from those who think you have to slow down, be fuddy duddy, quit doing sports, and dress like a sack of potatoes, i.e. my wife and the millions like her! It is the people who think others "need to act their age" that are the problem; not the people ignoring their age! Like weRdoomed and Heaveto are saying, "Quit making up reasons to not enjoy life." Even if you still have the financial burdens, quit letting them burden you. I still have to get my kids through high school and college. My wife is fretting daily, complains about aches, stopped having sex completely six years ago and does nothing but sit on her ASS reading books and watching TV instead of going out and playing with the kids. I go play sports with them, take them to events, do fun things outdoors, ride bikes and have a fun time. I still get aches and pains but I enjoy them and am not a grouch on the couch. A mid-life crisis may exist but the ones suffering from it are the ones trying to stop us "life-loving" adults!
Oh oh oh!!...I'm shooting to be a Diane Lane kind of 40! Hell, I'd take her sex appeal here at 25!
But you make an interesting point - the mid-life crisis could be called a "what-the-hell-everyone-around-me-is-acting-like-they're-already-dead crisis" - I feel it even now.
When I was in college a few years ago, I worked as a nanny on the side. This 3 year old boy and I would go to the park everyday for three hours. I chased him all around that placed and acted as silly as I could, climbing, sliding, and digging with him. We were always alone except a few Mexican workers who raked leaves and emptied trash - and they would often watch us. One day one of the asked if I was the boy's mother. I told him that I just watched him and he said "Cause I've never seen a mother have so much fun with her child. It's nice to watch anyway" --- and I always thought 1. I hope I still have this much energy and enthusiasm when I do eventually have children and 2. If I don't, I hope I can fake it!!
what was the point of stating that the workers were "Mexican"? NADA
Mickey-237955 - There was no point. Lo siento.
The "mid-life crisis" is not a myth unfortunately. I watched a good friend (at 48) abandon his wife and kids in a foreign country a couple of years ago to take up with a young girlfriend. I've been watching this happen since I was a teenager, when my Dad explained to me why we never saw his best friend anymore.
It's biological. I used be totally into skinny girls when I was young. Now that I'm 50, I like them with a little more meat on their bones...."child-bearing" looks.
I'd say that a "mid-life crisis" isn't a myth, but I'd argue that it's socially constructed. Just as how the "rebellious teenager" seems like the simple truth in the West, it's actually socially constructed. In other societies, they don't necessarily designate a certain time of life to be the "teen" years. Therefore, they don't have problems with unruly teenagers. By expecting that teens behave this way, they DO behave this way. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Similarly, "mid-life crises" are like this. Certain people expect to have one, so they DO have one. It's real, but there's not necessarily a biological basis for it.
This research is completely on target and it is great to hear that this topic is getting another, critical airing. For more information, check out my research on a 40 year study of midlifers showing the 5 pathways to fulfillment: www.searchforfulfillment.com. Also check out my blog, "Fuilfillment at Any Age:" http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age. I welcome your comments!
In my observation there is a mid-life crisis. The years between 40 and 50 are quite dangerous because you try to achieve what's left on your agenda, but there are a lot more obstacles than when you were 20. You know you can't afford to have an endless number of events that you can put down to experience. You need to budget your resources, both financially and mentally, a lot more, and the inevitable set-backs in life hurt a bit more than when you were young. Money once spent in error never comes back.
So it is a lot more stressful to navigate through life between 40 and 50. At about 50 you know you will not move forward in significant steps any more and switch to holding territory. This defense strategy is a lot less stressful than the conquering phase. This ends your mid-life crisis. Well, my observation.