Not to mention, smoking right near the baby. Regardless of the window being open.

19 with 3 children? I don't want to be harsh, but the situation is absurd. Wouldn't you get a clue after the first pregnancy?

Quit smoking and use birth control, it's time to grow up, you have 3 children!

Not to mention that her mother (or grandmother? The article jumps back and forth) died of emphysema! You'd think that that alone would be enough to get her to stop wasting her money (and her health) on cigarettes. Apparently not. Those smokes mean more to her than her "treasured" promise ring or her children. It's pathetic.

19 with 3 children? I don't want to be harsh, but the situation is absurd. Wouldn't you get a clue after the first pregnancy?

Apparently not. And she isn't the first teen to go through this. There are teens that are popping out their second or third kid while they are in highschool years (I know one, personally. Doesn't have money, a job, a highschool education, not even a driver's license, but still finds 'nice' guys to get pregnant by. First daddy took off when he found out she was pregnant; second one is in prison and she won't say why).

I was going to make the has money to buy cigarettes point but I see I was beaten to it.

who cares about the smoking; I grew up on the seventies when everyone smoked...I'm ok, so far!

This story is the exact reason why it should be illegal to have children under the age of 18, I'd like to say 21. If you can't drink, you sure as hell shouldn't be allowed to have a baby.

don't have sex, use birth control, get an abortion, give the baby up for adoption, but for the love of God, don't have babies when your not an adult!

The problem with the smoking is that the average price of a pack of cigarettes is $4.50 to $5.00. That is easily a $45 to $50 a week habit, or $200 a month. It is a little hard to feel sympathy for someone who is that careless about their finances, let alone their health and the health of their kids.

In fact, this story is so completely off the mark of what I am seeing with people I know who have lived responsibly all of their lives and now have no jobs, running out of unemployment insurance, losing their homes, I wonder if it is some sort of perverse ploy to ratchet up negative sentiment towards anyone who complains that they are struggling financially. There is no shortage of families who have done all of the right things and are suffering badly, who are actually deserving of our sympathy. Why feature this narcissistic train wreck?

For God's sake -- rants about her smoking. Can you people be any more self-righteous?

I can just imagine this girl trying to quit smoking on top of everything else. She'd probably end by cutting her own throat. As for smoking next to an open window with a baby in the room -- get real. Women smoked while nursing for years and their babies none the worse for it. If this country gets any more PC, you will all be robots.

This older couple who is caring for Autumn ought to help this girl or at least find someone appropriate to adopt the baby and take their worthless butts out of the picture. The girl needs help making a rational plan, help finding the right organizations to lend assistance, and something a great deal more concrete than rah-rah cheer-leading. If they didn't want to get involved in her life, they shouldn't have gotten involved in her life.

This stuff isn't easy. Being mature adults, they should have realized from the start that this girl couldn't turn her life around in a few months.

In so-called "Socialist" Europe, she would get subsidized child care and a free nursing education. Then she would become a productive member of society, able to raise her children and pay taxes. But here in Corporate America, she's just trash to be tossed along with her kids by the self-righteous non-smokers whose mommy and daddy paid for their B.A. in BS.

What the hell is wrong with you people? This poor girl has been through a series of emotional haymakers and you seek to chastise her more, and for cigarettes? She has made poor decisions, but I'm going to accurately guess that all of us have made poor decisions at some point in our lives. I think she's far beyond blame at this point, but that doesn't mean she's beyond or undeserving of help.

I totally agree with you...She seems to be doing everything in her power to survive. I am 45 and i would take her and her children in my home.

THis is what happens when one makes poor decisions. In life, there are rewards and consequences. What the hell is wrong with you to not recognize this? Why don't you go watch another Disney movie and everything will be OK again.

Aaron, it's painfully clear that this is what happens when someone makes poor decisions. But this isn't about the rewards and consequences of life, this is about someone trying to get back on their feet. The mistakes have been made and the consequences have been suffered. If you recognized that, maybe then you could recognize along with everyone else that continuing to flog this girl via this column is not helping anything. You're heaping another useless opinion on a heaping pile of callous nonsense. Just because she made some bad judgement calls doesn't make her ineligible for another chance.

Justathough08.....I don't know where you live. Must be in the south somewhere. Here in NYS, cigarettes are $7.00 to $8.00 pack...some $8.00 and change. I smoked for 25 years, then quit. Saving a bundle.......

Well, I'm going out to the garage for a smoke. I can't take it anymore.

Her mother died of emphysema! The addictive power of tobacco is amazing. Cure this and you will be a rich person.

Diane - Who do you think pays for all the governmental subsidies? Yeah, taxes on everything that moves or doesn't move. Right there is your "so called 'Socialist' Europe." Darn right it's socialist - take from those that do and give to those who can't or won't. Problem is, she isn't old enough to "do" much of anything and the only skill she has is spreading her legs. Not a productive member of society.

I think sheplover was closest to the right solution, just make it illegal to have children before 18. Implementation of the penalty would be the stickler.

I love how you people think that it would be an "easy solution" to force people not to have children. What would make you able to have children? The ability to drink without getting in trouble? A driver's licence? What would the penalty be? Forced abortion? Abduction of the child? What would a decision like this do to the person who had the baby? Women are already screwed up because what we were meant to do is now looked down upon, what would happen if we took away everyone's choice? Who would we be run by?

If you don't have the answers to this question, then quit talking because it's not making anything any better, and your comment should just go where all the unusable crap goes, in the trash.

Making it illegal to give birth before one is 18 won't solve anything, whether you could enforce it or not. If you could, instead of everyone complaining about paying taxes to the subsidies she may use, everyone will complain about having to pay taxes to support an exploding juvenile detention population. Not to mention expanding state agencies to handle all those adoptions on behalf of all those incarcerated teenagers. I'm sure conservatives would enjoy that.

The thing is that there is basically little or no understanding and way too many stereotypes flying around here. Everyone can sit at their computer and vehemently opine based on what they read, but they are not Hazel. They are not in that situation. I'm sure someone will say something completely insensitive in response, but the situation is beyond opinion. Saying things like "keep your legs closed" or "get your tubes tied" or "quit your bit-chin" or "the poverty cycle is a myth" is completely useless as this point. The girl needs help. She should be able to get it, not be treated like trash.

I just said a prayer for this troubled young woman. I hope that she can get herself together. It's very possible. People, you don't realize that she can get a free education in America, not just Europe. Should she choose to become a teacher, in most states you can work with grants and the like to get a practically free college education to become a teacher. It pays much better than $8.00, she would get more time off than in most jobs to spend with her children, and she would have great benefits.

The problem is we as a society have allowed for young mothers to believe that they must become a statistic caught in an endless cycle of poverty, government subsidies, and this lifestyle where you're nothing but a practically single mother.

That's not true, nor has it been for years. I believe in very temporary and goal oriented public assistance. I think it should be rare and the specific target is to encourage women like this poor woman to work on a solution using every resource she can. Men out of convenience? That shouldn't be something she needs.

She should permanently adopt out her baby given the dire circumstances. I know it sounds cold, but it would be a logical choice. It would hurt and I'm not saying the choice should be made for her, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is still the best thing to do.

Peace be with this woman and may God bless her.

Sorry Hazel, it appears that you never have any "extra" money.

I had a baby at 18, but we got married before the baby was born and managed to put my husband through school. How? We didn't spend any money except for rent, heat, electricity and basic food. Please, don't tell me how tough your life is, I lived through a lot worse.

Hazel, I'm with you. I hope everything works out. Cigarettes are expensive, and I work with 2 ladies who are trying to quit. I used to smoke myself and know how hard it is to quit, but I haven't had a cigarette in 24 years! Quitting would save you lots of money, you might try chewing gum, that's what worked for me.

There isn't enough money printed to justify smoking especially after you have watched a parent slowly drown due to smoking. Is that what Hazel wants for her own children? Smoking is an addiction. It seems most smokers can't see themselves as addicts. They can't see what it does to the people around them. A smokers capacity for denial is HUGE.

Hopefully Hazel has turned her life around enough in the 3rd part of this series to recognize that with three children, there is no 'extra' money. There is only saving for your children's future.

I know, I can't understand why people can find that addiction acceptable so much more than others when it does so much harm.

I agree with Hazel. I am going to keep my comments (good and bad) about the whole story to myself until I have read the last part of the article. Unlike others, I don't like to make statements before I know all the facts. Because most of the time when you do, you end up looking like an a$s and regret what you said.

Hazel, no matter how your life is going, I sure hope you have gotten your tubes tied.

Three kids are a handful and you do not seem to be making good choices, which means that you will not be stable enough to pass on good choices to your children and if the cycle remains unbroken, your daughters will be pregnant by the age of 15, on welfare and getting 15 minutes of fame on the future MSN.

There is no e on the end of iceburg. Geesh.

I hate to break it to you but we will not know the WHOLE story even after the last installment. We are only being presented one version. A version that seems very sympathetic to Hazel.

I think we should show compassion and caring for this family. You should help people when they are down, and help them get back on their feet. Part of caring for people is also counseling them on improving their habits and decisions. Helping them to understand their role in the situation and learning to take responsibility for their actions going forward. There may have been some very bad breaks for this woman, but many of her problems seem self-inflicted.

To even suggest that you buy cigarettes when you have "extra money" is absurd. If you don't have enough money to bring your child back home, you don't ever have any "extra money".

Unless it is a case of incest or rape, you have the choice of not putting yourself in the position of having 3 children by two different men. Okay, the first time is an accident. Everyone makes mistakes and has accidents. Having a child the second time, while unable to provide for the first two is a conscious decision.

Really loving someone requires more than a tolerant attitude. Challenging and encouraging someone to make hard choices to reach their expressed goal of regaining their child is not casting stones.

I have to wonder why you are posting remarks to hazel_evans as if it were really her? Come on people, most likely it is an impostor trying to make you feel sorry for the real Hazel while laughing in your faces that you actually treat the screen name as if she were real. The true Hazel is no different from the next teen mother. Try visiting the villages of Alaska. Those are truly heart breaking stories. Fourteen year olds who are already moms because they have sexual dysfunctions from being molested over and over again as children. The one that really struck me was a four year old being molested by her nine year old brother, but when you report it to the VPSO (the name for the sheriff) he just says it is normal. The time most of these kids hit adult hood they have already had three or four children, but all the children are passed around so much you have no idea who's is who's. The villages are truly incest. Most of these kids are already alcoholics by the time they enter adulthood and quite a few have no brain cells left from huffing since they were seven. So please, try to understand that no one should get special treatment and have their story put on headlines for something that is not newsworthy. All this will lead is to is teenage mothers being completely normal and the younger generations seeing nothing wrong with it. Also, I have known people who have smoked for twenty years and have stopped. There is no reason the real Hazel cannot. I smoked as a teenager and into adulthood and when I found out I was pregnant I quit. The cravings only lasted about two weeks, but I loved my children enough that I was not going to endanger their lives for my stupid action.

Hazel, if you are truly considering adoption then there are plenty of families out there (including me) who would jump at the opportunity to adopt such a beautiful baby. Don't think that just because the foster family doesn't want to adopt her that nobody will

zngiggles:

There is no e on the end of iceburg. Geesh.

(No u in it, either.)

Hazel......If you only smoke when you can, or when you have extra cash, why not just quit altogether? It would save you some cash, I am sure. I've been to he11 and back, too.....(well, I'm not back yet...), and I never was able to get foodstamps; nor did I ever receive child support. I am sorry, but I have no sympathy. At the VERY least, keep an eye on the little ones. A dresser falling on your daughter??? What were you doing?

Sorry Hazel (the real one, not the one posing here), but you get no sympathy about the smoking, and those who've already made comments about it are right. It's bad for you, your children and is a Luxury you absolutely cannot afford. And don't give me the whole 'trying-to-quit' line, because there is little more pathetic than the 20 year old who just can't seem to kick the habit. Please ... just because others preach that it's addictive, 20 year olds whine about how they can't manage. My daughter can never meet her grandfather because he died of lung cancer (suffocated to death in a hospital bed, truthfully) two years before she was born. Take responsibility for yourself, your health and the health of your children.

I appreciate this is a 'hard-luck' story, and I do honestly feel for you. But perhaps you're actually taking advantage of that family, giving them your baby to love when they know in the backs of their minds that at some point you're going to come reclaim your kid. A more responsible decision would have been adoption from the start. Give your kids (all of them) up for a loving home, go make a fresh start. Get your GED, start taking classes at CLC and make something of your life that doesn't include bilking money and sympathy from strangers through this article. The likes of Kate Gosselin and the Octomom aren't people to be admired. Make yourself a role model for your children.

I waited until 25 before having kids. Out of college, married 4 yrs., both working full time, owned a home, two cars in the garage, good insurance and bennies. Life is all about choices, you make good ones or you make bad ones. But, YOU have to be willing to live with the results. Do NOT expect society to bail you out. Not only do you guarantee your life will be substandard by breeding at such an early age, you virtually condemn your children to a life of poverty or near poverty. It is a vicious cycle that isn't easily broken. There are exceptions to every rule but the scenario I write will be the end result the majority of the time.

Sorry Hazel, it appears that you never have any "extra" money.

I had a baby at 18, but we got married before the baby was born and managed to put my husband through school. How? We didn't spend any money except for rent, heat, electricity and basic food. Please, don't tell me how tough your life is, I lived through a lot worse.

Your story is what this woman needs to hear. Coddling her probably isn't going to motivate, just enable. Empowering isn't about making everyone feel everything is ok all the time. Empowering is being a coach who isn't afraid to look the player in the eyes and say, "you're playing a bad game, turn it around like I know you can."

I agree. The only thing I'll add is that some of the saddest stories are the ones that are repeated over and over.

I doubt anyone thinks it's about cigarettes, but nobody wants to see a kid like her (who just had both parents die from smoking) smoke. Smoking is not OK.

Also, they are looking to criticize her lifestyle. If she were drinking a beer in the picture accompanying the article there would have been comments about that too.

sunnybunny, father died from pancreatic cancer, not a cancer typically associated with smoking.

And muddly, it's not about cigarettes, but it is about learning to make better choices, and it is hard for many of us to understand how choosing to smoke around a baby (and most likely while pregnant) and choosing to spend money on cigarettes works into that equation.

Note the risk factors:

http://pathology.jhu.edu/pancreas/BasicRisk.php?area=ba

What is #1?

Smoking increases your risk of pretty much all cancers, but when I think of a smoker's disease I think of emphysema or lung cancer ... not that these do not occur in nonsmokers as well. But thanks for the link.

Muddly: You said it for me too. Thanks. You go get 'em, Hazel. There's a whole bunch of us that wish you well and like Jessica said, we want to cheer you on. There's a whole world waiting for you and you can do it. You go, girl!!

You know, I don't wish this woman ill. I would like to see her succeed. But I do not accept the premise that this woman is a victim, either of her womb or her addiction, and therefore deserving of extraordinary sympathy. I wish her luck, but I am not sympathetic. I know too many people who are really doing everything they can to rise above adverse circumstances (it's called "life") and are not sabotaging their efforts as this woman seems to be doing. It (life) is hard for everyone. Some people make it a lot harder than it has to be.

Perhaps you should pay attention to what you read. The first father took off when he found out she was pregnant. The other father is in prison.

So she claims. Possibly another Maury Povich situation.

Actually as was pointed out to me (politely, I might add, unlike your comment) by another poster, the first father is contributing a small amount in child support. I missed that line in my first reading. But there is nothing about him taking off that I see in the article.

The second father was not happy with the newborn being sent to a foster family. Why he or his family didn't/couldn't step forth to help is not clear. I actually searched both articles for the words "father" and "prison" and cannot find anything about the second father being in prison. Perhaps the version of the article that you read was edited before I saw it.

So my question still remains ... how come the fathers cannot help with child care, how come the other 2 sets of grandparents haven't stepped forward to help?

She said she didn't think she'd get pregnant again! I guess she didn't know what caused it?

I really wonder about that. I hear that 50% of all US pregnancies are unplanned. There must be an awful lot of people who don't understand birth control or that rate would be like 1%- 3%. So she's obviously not alone.

In the first part she willingly admitted that she knew what birth control was, but failed to use it. I'm guessing sex took place while she was high from whatever substance she was abusing and people who are high don't stop to think of consequences.

I'd like to feel sorry for her making bad choices, but really she just angers me. My husband and I tried for years to have children, with no luck. We're emotionally stable, own our home and are financially responsible. She's a train wreck, owns nothing and depends on government assistance to live. Go figure....

That is my point exactly. You and your spouse are responsible people paying your own way with money you made from your JOBS, and you can't catch a break. Hazel on the other hand wants everything handed to her and bemoans her situation even though SHE created it! Life ain't fair.

I don't think Hazel wants everything handed to her ... I think she just has no idea how to achieve anything. She just seems to be lacking basic life skills. What she really needs is a mentor to take the place of her deceased parents in showing her how to live her life ... everything from how to pay bills on time, how to save money, how to make smart choices about what she puts into her body, how to find a reliable birth control method, how to parent a baby, etc.

As I mentioned above she would also benefit from some kind of involvement by the fathers of the kids, and neither article discusses why there appears to be none. Why aren't the fathers being sued for support ... why can't she rely on them for help with child care ... why aren't they involved in the decisions she is making that involve the children? The article completely ignores this angle and I find it frustrating. Maybe part 3 of the series will adress this but so far the lack of any information about the lack of father involvement is just bad reporting.

The article does say she gets financial support for the twins from their father. But I wonder why their other grandparents don't seem to be involved. As for the newborn, I guess the father is denying it? Maybe she's hoping for Ivan to take over? I think you're on the same track as my earlier post. It looks like someone needs to adopt Hazel.

I missed that in the article. But I do recall it saying that the father of the infant was unhappy with the decision to give the baby to foster parents, so it doesn't sound like he is denying it.

So she is receiving a small amount from the father of the twins ... still I can't understand why he and/or the other grandparents aren't there to help on a day to day basis. Or why only a small amount is being paid. One of the biggest impediments to this woman holding a job and getting an education is child care, so with potentially 2 other families biologically connected, why aren't the fathers and maybe the grandparents stepping up? Very sad.

The whole involvement of Ivan seems like a bad idea. When you can't even get your life together, why would you get involved in a new relationship?

I look forward to the third installment of the series to see where this goes. It is hard to envision any kind of a happy ending.

I don't know about Ivan. It seems awfully soon to be in another relationship and they could be moving too fast, but he seems genuinely concerned about her well being and appears to be supportive. So it may be a good thing.

This is an off the wall observation but I always liked it when my mother pointed it out to me - Jesus was raised by a step father. He was also born in someone elses barn. God could have worked that any way he wanted and yet thats what he did.

I'm looking forward to reading part 3 too. I see they haven't posted it yet.

you have no sympathy just because she smokes? whoa..........

Me neither. I have no sympathy just because she smokes. I have a masters and professional background in social work. I know what it looks like when people are struggling to rise above the challenges and difficulties that life can deal out. This is not what it looks like.

Her father begged me to have his baby to prove my love so I did.

You HAVE to be kidding, right?!

He was insecure and I was idealistic. Ah, young love.

Wow.

Well said. Poetic even. Is that a quote?

I think you can care about others and still recognize that we are each responsible for the choices we make. While I don't have contempt for this woman, neither do I think she is worthy of sympathy. She is where she is because of decisions she made and continues to make, not because anyone did anything to her, or something happened that she had no control over.

A lot goes on in many people's lives that is extraordinarily difficult that they never invited and certainly do not deserve. I have compassion for them. Again and again, these people rise to these challenges. I admire and respect that. I don't see any evidence of that type of struggle in this story. Most of what this woman is dealing with was easily avoidable. Even now, she can free up physical and financial resources by quitting smoking. It is not that hard - I did it!

But your aunts, uncles, grandparents weren't putting on a "Pity poor me I have no money" story like this thing, while they wasted the money they don't have to take care of kids they do have on cigarettes! The money poor momma is wasting on the cigarettes is more annoying than smoking being socially acceptable or not.

if i was hazel, i'd be smoking more than cigarettes!!!

It takes a village is a joke though. Oh, we must all get together as a village to take care of their children, but say something a parent disagrees with and watch the phrase "You don't have kids so what do you know!" suddenly take the place of the "It takes a village..." one. That's right, I don't have kids, so quit coming to me to waste my money on your kids schooling, your welfare checks, food stamps and throwing it takes a village stories when convenient at me.

Here! Here! It IS a joke. The girl needs to quit sleeping around and find gainful employment and her problems will be solved. The "cycle of poverty" is a myth here in the USA; more like the "cycle of dependency" and we can break that easily. Let her sink or swim on her own efforts. If she can't take care of her progeny then remove them from her care and give them to the millions of couples who would LOVE to have a child and aren't unfit to care for them.