I think everyone needs to be, and teach their kids to be, advertant. This includes social situations (including the internet), as well as physical situations. Bullies are extremely advertant. I think everyone should be able to recognize 'bullying' or 'trolling' on the internet quickly, and know what they can do about it, whether they are the victim, supervisor or a bystander.

It is not so much a question of taking away the bullies' "guns", as it is a question of making them very, very careful of when they use them.

Sorry, I am from the old school. The kids are reflections of their parents and their environment. Kids watch, learn and practice. It is their job. So don't put all the blames onto the school. The parents of the 9 kids and the bystanders should heed the warning.

Good doesn't mean a pushover, and a pushover doesn't make a good person. A bully may not have bad intention, but inability to communicate in a proper fashion (not all cases). So we should not be so quick to blame the system. I seriously question the parenting skills of the 9 kids.

Hell, I think ethics is its own reward. The individual who tries to be ethical and decent is the reward itself. Why cannot everyone attempt to live their lives according to a moral code, and this does begin in childhood. Parents must teach their children right from wrong; cruelty and torment versus ethics and basic human decency. It doesn't always work, but if every soul ventured down the path of ethics, the simple difference between right and wrong, we just might, make this Earth a better place.

I like the mantra of an old, ancient religion, "Do No Harm; Cause No Pain." Not to others or yourself or to the Earth. It is when someone is different, crippled, fat or unattractive, whatever the excuse to inact cruelty is, when the ethical person grows humble and merciful. An ancient Native Californian people wouldn't kill a porcupine unless the people were starving because the porcupine -- was the easiest animal to kill and hunt.

I like those ethics. Because someone is easy to hurt because of something they cannot help, is when the righteous becomes strong and merciful. I would imagine this concept produces happier, healthier and more joyous responses and feelings than tormenting someone who is helpless, defenseless and easily hurt.

Teach your children ethics.

I have found this website useful when I question myself...

http://josephsoninstitute.org/index.html

Thanks for the link thturd. Even though the day to day politics in life and corporate culture can be straining at times, its good to see organizations that stick by good character-building values!

This evil, disgusting, publicly funded school, South Hadley High School of Massachusetts, needs to be made an example. It needs to be shut down permanently by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Its dirty, ugly brats should be bussed to an inner city Springfield high school on Monday. If the parents don't like it, they should try selling their houses now and moving elsewhere. Justice for Phoebe.

R u for real...Is my only comment

I basically agree with HellHawk. Society teaches kids and adults to bully. The bullies in life become CEO's and other high and esteemed ranks in society. Bullies usually get the money that goes with bullying. In short bullies are rewarded for their behavior and gentle polite people are not.

Society is becoming more and more like our primate cousins. We are becoming more dominance hierarchy orientated. As society gets less government control and anarchy is allowed to continue our inner primate takes over. We are forming little bully groups to attack and pick on each other. If we continue to allow non-existent government to continue what little civilization is left will disappear. Humans like our cousins chimps and baboons need a structured government to survive. Without this ordered society we kill each other. This was proven by a very drastic incident that took place at a zoo where the baboons went berserk because there was no known dominance hierarchy. In short the baboons had no government for their species. We too need structure in our lives and more controls than people wish to admit. These baboons ended up killing each other. The place was called "Monkey Hill". But it quickly became "Pork Chop Hill". This story is told in the book called "Shadows Of Forgotten Ancestors" by Carl Sagan.

The human equivalent was Liberia. As American society breaks down bringing about chaos we too can end up killing each other.

Lastly this article showed that if you are at the bottom of the pecking order you are the one to get bullied. Bullies do not have the courage to face an equal.

If everybody teaches competition, a winner/loser mentality will take effect. But war or business depends on cooperation and teamwork. At one time, everybody practiced their religion at least once a week, and learned the rules of behavior, and this helped in some cases. Detention is no threat compared to hell, but hell is no deterent to historical genocide either. In a world with such a huge population, if we cannot get along individually there will be terrorists, or nationally there will be aggressive wars. People are too busy to stay home and teach their children to be good, but if you do not, you will be a victim of much bigger bullies. Why would anybody want a mean child? They will never take care of you in old age.

I think that some (not all) bullies who grow up unrestrained end up becoming Hitler's and Stalin's and drug lords and war mongers.

In other words, the worst people in history all started out as bullies. They basically bullied their way to the top of the heirarchy.

Actually, there's much to say Hitler was actually bullied himself instead of the bully. This is something we're also starting to see as bullied children strike back after being pushed too far. Several of the recent school shootings have been linked to instances where the child was disliked and bullied.

As for why children are so cruel, there are several reasons. As many have mentioned society plays a part... but let's not forget who makes up society. Societal norms and beliefs don't spring out of thin air, the people make them and uphold them. Honestly though, I don't think people have gotten any worse. They were always this bad. It's just before the proliferation of TV and the internet, how much it occurred never got around. I grew up in the 60s and there were bullies back then just as there are now. The difference is now bullies can hide behind a computer screen and bully 24/7 instead of just in person on the playground. The cruelty always existed, now its just easier to show.

I understand that some of these girls wrote bad things about the victim even after she was dead, on her death notice.

At this point, the parents of these children are either sick animals or totally neglectful. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if I had participated in something like this. My parents would have punished me severely.

But it never would have happened, because I was taught better. Beginning as a toddler, I was taught that it was wrong to stare at someone different because it would hurt their feelings.

No parenting. And parents who are more childish than the children. That's the problem. But it's not just the parents fault. You can't parent today, even if you want to. The government has taken away your right to parent. The government is completely running your life. This is a police state.

Babies are born without any knowledge. They are a sponge and will learn from the things around them. What works and what doesn't. Some will walk their own path some will try to escalate the path of others.

I agree its more cultural than any thing else. Good guys & Bad guys, which is dictated by the winner, who is what.

I wasn't per say a bully victim but I did pick on the bullies, which in some way made me a bully as well. The teachers must be attentive as they have our future generations within their care.

I have always question whether uniforms in schools could actually bring more of a base line. As a kid I disagreed with the concept as an adult? I think its worth trying.

My brother had multiple eye surgeries as a kid (Not minor surgeries). He was picked on and I did stand up for him. Now to shield myself I didn't let him know that I evened the score, but I also picked on him but on totally different notes (Brothers). when I grew up I realized that it was all a mistake. He still has not forgiven me.

It is almost as if we throw our kids in a lake (the same lake) and say you better swim and then we leave.

Bullying is often used to maintain the social pecking order, Veenstra said.

As the statement above may seem to be true to others, those who stand up to those who believe there is a "social pecking order" are often the ones who are bullied.

If you as an individual believe someone has a right to keep you down because of a perceived pecking order then you need to seek help.

As bad as it sounds I hope all the kids involved are convicted, if you do not make an example out of them to show serious consequences will occur then it will continue to happen.

My condolences to the family and to the families of the children who were involved. I wonder how many of those families knew thier child was part of this bullying or heard about it?

Jerry,

Bullying bullies? This isn't a remedy. Kids don't watch the news nor do they read it!

Realtime intervention. REALTIME!

There is plenty of "blame" to go around. The problem is that it is extremely difficult to deal with this without being sued.

I remember when I was growing up, we weren't afraid of the cops, we were afraid of the discipline our parents would impose if they found out. When a kid misbehaved in school, the teacher grabbed the kid and either pulled him to the principals office or we were put by ourselves somewhere for a while. And our parents were always called. The parents asked "what did Johnny do? Oh, ok, I'll deal with it". For the past 20-30 years it seems like if the kid's parents are called, the response the school would likely get is "my kid would never do that...and don't you dare lay a hand on my kid". All public schools seem afraid to impose discipline. So, until we allow the schools to go back to properly policing the students, this will remain a major problem. I know, the responses against this is that teachers shouldn't be allowed to be bullies themselves or if you don't have a sharp no contact line, then more teachers will abuse the kids. The thing is, abusers, whether adults or kids, don't pay attention to the rules anyway. So, the good teachers are denied the discretion to use common sense and this hurts all kids.

Plus, the thing that always amazes me is that adults seem to forget what it was like as a kid. That certainly makes their jobs harder. Plus, with all the latchkey kids, too many of them don't seem to have been taught their manners at home. We certainly need more parents to be parents and do less of being their "best friend".

The answer is private schools. They have the parents sign all the right legal documents so that the kids won't be allowed to stray too far without the possibility of being expelled. Maybe the public schools can try the same idea. I realize that public schools have a requirement to educate, but why not have, where possible, separate schools for the kids whose parents sign the legal documents giving the school sufficient authority to impose discipline without fear of reprisal, and a separate school for those whose parents don't sign. Then, the public schools can transfer a kid who refuses to toe the line to school which has less discipline authority, if need be. This way, everyone wins. Except, the only problem may be courts ruling that you can't do this. Oh well.

Sadly, bullying takes place in private schools too. Since they have no tax dollars to fall back on, losing tuition by expulsion is avoided. My daughter was bullied to the point of on-line death threats. The school did nothing. I had to go to the police.

Doh! Even Homer knows that answer! PARENTS! HOME ENVIRONMENT!

Bad parenting is what makes kids so bad. No consequences for bad behavior, no rules, no punishments... we give 'em too much freedom and then wonder why they don't understand limits on their own behavior.

Agreed,

Want to find out what kind of employee you're hiring. Demand to see their kids.

What's the difference. The kids aren't subtle enough to hide the faults their parents passed down.

bad parenting might make bullies, but they also make things worse for the person that is being bullied. Parents have to listen to their kids, march down to the school, and put a stop to what is going on. They have to be willing to sue the parents of the kids that are bullying them. They have to stand up when their kid can't. My parents refused to ever help me. My school years were full of horrors.

They were in Ridgecrest California at James Monroe Jr. High School.

What in the world do our tax dollars have to do with bullying? Having regulations about bullying do not stop bullying? We are are the administrators, because they could have minimized the bullying, but not stop it.

We are pointing everywhere but toward our parenting skills and efforts.

Agreed, agreed, agreed. It is the parents. How many kids have to take their own lives before someone stands up and does something? It's very sad.

Since when has humanity ever cared about everyone else? It's always been about caring about what's yors (family, possessions, life, etc...)

i agree

There are Tea party members with very high ethics, as well as Communists, Socialists, Democrats, Republicans, and Libertarians. I highly disagree with many of their views and practices. However, it is not fair to generalize. Ethics issues crosses all race, religion, political, nationality, and economical groups.

The tea party has been usurped by several rightwing fringe groups. I detest the birthers, truthers, etc... getting involved.

Imaging the hate that you feel when you find out that you have been used by someone you believed... that is what will most likely to happen in the coming years. The Tea Party will not likely to be able to fund-raise for themselves. The campaign funds will most likely be siphoned off to GOP candidates. Look at that some of the cannibalism that is happening to some of the Tea Party candidates.

but I digress from the topic of our kids.

Tea Party? Not sure what that has to do with this article, but to add to the previous comment:

No more or less than the professional victims on the extreme left too. There's no place for extremes on either side.

Anyway:

As for "Take driving: Grown-ups often tailgate slow drivers in an effort to intimidate them, Kim said. That's a page right out of the bully handbook."

Humm Maybe, but thats hardly a fair comparison. Just move out of the way [if you can] and the impatient idiot behind them will move on. There's no specific targeting there, and there's no way that would result in the "slow poke" committing suicide. Compared to school yard bullying, where's there's little to no possibility of avoidance or escape.

What the heck does the Tea Party have to do with this, you leftist thug.

I wondered how far down I'd have to read before someone brought right and left wing politics into this. If you ever wonder about bullying look at our political system. Its right before our eyes 24/7. Phoebe's death is tragic and so unnecessary. But those "little brats" (not my words) get their behaviors from mimicking their parents who find nothing wrong with name-calling (read as "BULLYING") when it comes to stereotyping another person's political beliefs. Look on any newsvine discussion and all you see is "You liberal SOB" this and "You narrow-minded conservation" that. How can bullying be avoided in our schools when our whole culture -- our whole AMERICAN culture rests on the foundation of the bullying we see in politics every single day of our lives. It makes me sick.

NoobPatrol --

Since when has humanity ever cared about everyone else? It's always been about caring about what's yors (family, possessions, life, etc...)

What a sad thing to believe. It isn't true, you know. People used to care a great deal more than they do now, when everyone's rights are legislated.

For example, in the 1960's, my (Caucasian) mother was nearly fired from her job as head surgical nurse because she caused a big stink over the fact that an elderly black woman was given substandard nursing care.

In a town I lived in a few years ago, the people quietly made donations and paid for a car. registration, and one year of auto insurance for a single mom who was struggling financially and had to walk back and forth to work.

In another town, people donated items for an auction to help a young family whose husband/father was killed in a car crash.

You may have read recently about a nanny who risked her life and sustained serious injury to save a little boy from a house fire.

The idea that reprehensible behavior is normal is part of the problem. Decent people don't act like these girls. If they and their parents were shamed and shunned, fewer incidences like this would occur.

Last sentence in the article says it all:

"We grown-ups have to be much more active, proactive and responsible and do something about it," she said. "It's not kids' problem. It's our problem."

Any adults who are setting irresponsible examples by behaving like bullies should be called out rather than thought well of. Have we all thrown out the ability to respect others, our families, and ourselves since "family values" is no longer being used as a political catch phrase? Just because ethical behavior was used for gain and as a smokescreen in politics, it does not mean that personal ethics are no longer worthy or important now. We, as a society, need to stop acting out like bullies or we will destroy ourselves from within; we are sinking to new lows by being too ready to attack each other, becoming our own terrorists from within. If we have any self respect left and if we value ourselves, our families, and our country, the kids will follow our lead. We all need to raise our own personal bars. We have sunk far enough.

Real Americans First

Your name says you care more about "real" Americans than anyone else. Perhaps you should practice what you preach and stop trying to bully the tea partiers.

The anti-bullying agenda in schools must empower the bystanders and the victim. This means that the victim who stands up for himself and the by standers who intervene should not be suspended in the "no tolerance" net of school discipline. Also, the kids who bully must be put in mandatory counseling and suspended immediately. Another big step would be to involve all the parents of both the bullies and the victims. This situation calls for lots of adult intervention on an on-going basis from elementary school on up.

o'really- Did you see the tea partiers bully the man with Parkinson Disease? He could not walk and could not work. Try having Parkinson Disease with no job or health insurance. They threw money on him and told him to go back to his side of town where lazy bums live. This was not an isolated instance as far as I could see. Nelson Mandela once said that a strong society can be noted by how it takes care of the weakest.
Where are we heading? What are the kids learning from adults?

ALL the tea partiers did this? Please provide a link, because honestly I did not see this. I did see Black Panthers trying to intimidate voters in Philadelphia and ACORN workers beat up a man selling flags at a tea party rally. I have also read over and over again Obama supporters using the derrogatory term teabagger. Do I think they are representative of all Democrats? No.

Every group has its lunatic fringe, but to paint all members with a broad brush is troubling. The "Real Americans" rallying cry is annoying whether it is coming from Obama or Palin.

Like I said, we need to raise our own personal bars first; that's where improvement starts. Enough of the "well they did it first" and all the rest of the immature noise. All each one if us needs to do is improve ourselves first. It rubs off just like all the hateful talk and attitudes rubs off. Enough already!

Agree dorrit, we don't nearly look and question ourselved enough. Too often do our children pick these traits up. We are lying to ourselves, when our children cheat in school and do not do the right things....

Ask ourself how many time we push the shopping carts back to the assigned "return cart area," and how many times we tell our children that we are not available to take a telephone call?

Well said!

Most of the bullies in my school [30 years back now] have either died of drug overdoses, or still using, and otherwise very few went onto become successful adults.

With bullies, their lives peaked in high school, and the rest of us left them behind there like the losers they really are, where ultimately they continued to be, irrelevant. Except for the ones that lived long enough to breed, raised more bad kids. The cycle continues. Sad.

Good for you!! But nowadays the bullying seems to be much more vicious and physical as well as pervasive and public via the Internet and other means.

These bullies have never learned empathy for others and a lot of behavior we used to consider shameful or unacceptable is now tolerated or even indulged by parents who think their darling children could never do anything wrong. Indeed these parents probably don't believe what their kids DID wrong. Sad!!

Filthy deeds and words pollute bully, not victim. Tell that to kids.

Agreed!

There should be a law forbidding some people to breed.

You are so right. The woman that gave birth to me is one that should have NEVER, EVER had kids.

Pete, in the most recent incident that my son was victimized in, the bully's friends backed up my son statement that my son did nothing to start it.

Why? Because this year the school ahs stareted a ery strong anti-bullying campaign.

There is hope. The answers do not arrive quickly, and it is a painful process, but you are a little too quick to condemn these programs.

William, this is encouraging to hear!

Teach your children, when not directly involved in the confrontation, neither the aggressor, or the victim, STAND UP for the weak. If the bully feels threatened, they will back down, because, in the end, the bully just wants some perverse approval (usually lacking at home).

Liz - I never understood why my friends - kids I'd known for a decade - stood by and did nothing. I knew it was fear, but also knew that there was no way that one bully could stand up to 4-5 other boys at the same time.

Fear of being bullied themselves....What's sad, is the "popular" kids, and the bullies, are usually the most empty, insecure...If only the "other" kids could find the courage within themselves.

@Liz "STAND UP for the weak. If the bully feels threatened, they will back down"

I was a big muscular kid in high school, but I was also an honor student so i was labeled a nerd (despite the number of sports i went out for). I can't even count the number of times I broke up a possible one sided fight by just being present and stepping toe to toe with the person who thought he had power over the situation. Though I can recount all three times it actually came to blows, but when I had a 90lb kid taking my side when the adults sorted it out... I never received anything beyond advice from the authority figures.

Looking back I owe my actions of standing up for the weaker side, to my observations as a kid of my father. A man I never seen grow to anger, but constantly rise to balance the scales of an unfair confrontation. Even though these observations usually took place in bar, the tension would soon subside and I remembered the respect and gratitude others showed my father for standing up when it would have been far easier to just sit and ignore. I just wished I asked my dad why he did this when i had a chance, but I am forever grateful that I learned this trait from him.

So I agree with many on these boards from my own experience. Parents play a large role in how a child will act and react in different situations and that when all a bully has is his perceived superiority over another, the bully will almost always back down when the scales are equaled or not in his favor anymore. Also one tangible aspect I have of these days is staggered gratitude over the years from these folks that I defended, even though I couldn't recall their names or why they were in that position. It meant a lot more to them than the minor effort it took me to walk a few steps and say a few words many years ago.

William, this is a great post.

I was on the receiving end for about half of my life. It pushed me into depression and a general distrust of people that took years to understand and overcome. I agree that athletics is a key component to the bully culture. In my experience, athletes stuck to intimidation and verbal threats - maybe the occasional shove. The dangerous ones were those with abusive fathers - or no fathers at all.

The common denominator throughout the years was the lack of punishment and accountability. The kids knew there were no repercussions. So did we.

I applaud your involvement with your kids' situations. It's an admirable level of ethics and consistency that should stand as an example to every parent.

Not to downplay your post, but one of the many reasons why I appreciate my parents having the outright strength to homeschool me. Shielded, sure, until college, where no one really cared anymore and those who did were meaningless (once the bullies who "ruled the school" and were now lost without their core group, and like you said, grew up to be ..... NOTHING)

William, you're lucky your son wasn't expelled. Zero tolerance policies mean zero tolerance for the bully and victim.

William ----- So wait a sec...correct me if I've misread your post, but are you saying you taught your kid to meet violence with violence? The bully becomes the bully??????? And gets away with it? That's just not right. Violence begets more violence even if the kids did "stay away" for 18 months or whatever.

That's no solution whatsoever. I'm sorry but I'm with Martin Luther King and Gandhi -- peaceful resistance. It's much harder to teach self-restraint, self-esteem, patience, and confidence than how to stuff another kid into a urinal or throw him against the wall.

Well in that case, let's say there's more than one school of thought here. I agree with William. If you are being bullied, don't throw the first punch, but you better defend yourself after he throws the first one. I've taught my boys to be gentlemen and "heros". They are always to intervene and help someone being bullied, at all costs. Even if they get there butts in trouble. Honor comes with helping those that can not help themselves. If I'm wrong, I can live with that. My twin boys are A students, actively involved in school, and liked by all. Bullies will not stop unless someone steps up to them.

I agree we have to step up to bullies, but I don't believe violence is the answer. I also agree bystanders should help those who are being bullied. Call me naive, but I just don't think our world needs to be violent.

Have to agree on the zero tolerance thing. You can even just stand there and get beat up and you can get suspended. You are guilty until proven innocent. My nephew is constantly bullied the latest one he was assaulted by 2 students and he and the 2 bullies were suspended for 2 weeks. The only reason it got overturned was other students had video of him trying to run away and not fight back. If he had even attempted to defend himself he would have lost because of the NO TOLERANCE. With these policies I can see how the victims would feel that there is no hope.

Violence begets voilence, yes it does that is a true statement. Turn the other cheek is true as well. Until both cheeks are beaten down then human instincts kick in to where you must make a stand.

When that line is crossed you should not only stand up, you must make sure that you grab the one with the mouth and make an example out of them or it will continue and only get worse.

Should you take the above steps posted by Mr. Brock most definately, but if you dont stand up when the situation is out of hand and no one is around you will always be beat down.

Being passive only works when the other side is open to that passive nature which in many cases wont happen.

A community of kids in schools need to depend on eachother to prevent bullying and not encourage it.

Just an opinion..

Noob: It's very simple why my son wasn't expelled. He was NOT the aggressor. He was cornered in a bathroom by three other boys. In the meantime, the school's insurance company does not ant to hear that the school is not doing enough to keep the kids safe.

Even the principal agreed with me. He has two sons in my daughter's class. He told me he can't sanction violence as a school official, but as a father, has given his sons the same advice.

InMichigan: Was he supposed to allow himself to receive bodily harm? Tell your kid to just lay there and take it. I dare you! But first, reread my first post. I never taught him to fight. His reaction was purely defensive. All I can say is that everyone who has heard this story has a huge smile when the urinal part is told. It is widely seen as justice for a bully.

My son knew what was going to happen. He told the boys to leave him alone and raised a fist to threaten them into leaving him alone, and they didn't. He turned to wash his hands and was jumped from behind (the coward's standard way). He was givan a single detention for raising his fist. We explained that doing that was probably a "mistake" based upon the rules. We agreed with the principal on that point.

Liz: I see many homeschooled kids here too. I do not wholly disagree with the concept, but if you are doing it to hide your kids from the world, you make a huge mistake. It leaves them with blinders on, and ignorant. If you do it becuase you can provide a better education than your school can (not always a mean feat), then you do it for the right reasons. It is a gamble, either way.

billt: Ever watch a hockey game? It used to be that when a fight broke out, the responder, not the initiator always got the penalty. Why? because that is when the ref noticed it. hat is the reason for a no tolerance policy. Nowadays, with schools having cameras, etc., it should be easier to assess who is the perpetrator. It is also easier to assess who is lying, when the interrogations are started.

Noob: It's very simple why my son wasn't expelled. He was NOT the aggressor. He was cornered in a bathroom by three other boys. In the meantime, the school's insurance company does not ant to hear that the school is not doing enough to keep the kids safe.

It does not matter depending on the school rules. ALL involved can get expelled. That's why I references zero tolerance rules and another poster confirmed it You are lucky your school's rules/administrators were just.

defense is not violence, it's a completely different set of talents.

If that wasn't true, we wouldn't have a different lineup for football when they switch from offense to defense.

It doesn't take two to fight, it takes one. Peaceful resistance might get you sympathy which might get you a majority to stand up to the bully, but in either case, someone has to 'stand up' to the bully. Peaceful resistance is useful when you are so totally overwhelmed you have no chance in direct confrontation. That doesn't mean it's the only way to stop confrontation. Violence has to be stopped, it cannot simply be ignored or accepted. Stopping a force takes a force, it's a rule of God and physics. And yes, sometimes it can be done without physical conflict. But only for the righteous few. Ghandi may have done it, but that's because Ghandi wasn't facing a bully, just a capitalist.

William:

I agree 100% w/ your son's response to the bullies...for InMichigan-1333992, I read your response, and all of your profiles...try to be neutral when 3 people are in your face, possibly threatening your safety?

What you going to do, crawl up in a ball and hope they go away? Doesn't work that way sometimes...you MUST defend yourself when necessary...you obviously didn't read all of William's story about his son and how he through his past taught his son to defend himself, NOT bully...I don't think William's son picks on other people whom he doesn't agree with.

Also, ready rrobeson's comment--good point rrobeson--Ghandi was not facing military force, but more of a political/social issue...Ghandi did what was best for that situation and William's son did best for his situation.

To InMichigan:

I had parents who had the same opinion as you about violence. I was bullied mercilessly - violent physical, and sometimes sexual assaults for years in school -- but my Mom had ground into my head that "You NEVER, EVER, EVER physically hurt another human being!!! You will go to hell/I will be SO ANGRY at you and never forgive you!" So after 6 years of abuse at school...I finally snapped at the age of 13:

I was shoved down the stairs (For the umpteenth time) by a girl (same beast who used to have her male friends hold me down/assault me while she looked on laughing), and when I got up, I ran and found her out into the hallway and leaped on her. I pummeled her to the ground, smashing her face into the floor, then tried to strangle her to death...yes, that's right: to death. I had had enough - I was going to defend myself at all costs, hell, mom, etc. be damned! It took 3 teachers to pull me off of her. I was suspended for 2 weeks...but when the police/administrators AND her parents heard my side no charges were filed. In fact, the girl had a long history of behavioral problems and abusing other girls. I was a quiet, bookish, straight-A, artistic student who never would have hurt anyone - and still wouldn't! I snapped. This was in the 1980s. My mother WAS angry I hurt the other girl - but my Dad cried and wanted to know why I never told him about things.

Kate: Your story is all too familiar. It is interesting that the kids who get picked on usually are the top students.

I for one am glad that you finally found the strength to take maters into your own hands. One of the things bullies count on is their victims' self-imposed restrictions - the obligation to obey rules, while they (the bullies) constantly search for ways to circumvent and subvert those very same rules.

So what happened to the other girl? Was she disciplined for her actions?

I can tell you that in my son's case, we have put together a log of the incidents so far. The school counselor is having meetings with the bully, and his parents. We have informed the counselor that we will file an official complaint with the very same police department where this kid's father is a cop, should anything else occur.

Too bad so many kids today have no idea who their baby daddy is.

Bless you.At last someone who see's the lousy little creeps for just what they are.

Who says you aren't born with hate?

South Pacific!

But that has more to do with racism than bullying.

David, if your brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow an ant out of a peanut shell.

There's always one in every bunch.

David. This is not a political argument until we have to discuss how to fund these programs, and then a fight ensues. Unitl then, just keep your useless opinions to yourself. We don't need them here.

David, that's been mentioned before. Sarah Palin used lies to get a crowd to yell, "Kill him." She insinuated that a college professor from the sixties was actually a Muslim and Obama's friend. (They had once served on a committee together.) That committee also had Republicans on it. She yelled, "He runs around with terrorists" hoping the crowd would think he was Muslim terrorist. They did! And screamed for the death of Obama. If this is not bullying, I don't know what is. The good thing is many Republicans knew what they were doing, but maybe Sarah Palin didn't even understand. In other words she may not have known what she was talking about a American college professor who had protested forty years ago when Obama was a child.

McCain back tracked when a lady said to him, "I am so worried because Obama is a terrorist." Sociopathic behavior can only go so far and McCain could not cross the sociopathic barrier. Maybe McCain understood because he lost a primary to Bush because the Bush campaign spread lies that he had had a black child.

Oh my, where to kids learn this stuff?

That's great, but that's not the primary problem nowadays. How do you handle gangs who prey like hyenas on you and attack when you're back is turned or jump you when you're outnumbered 10 to 1?

It is a misconception that bullies are gangs or whatever. They are often the popular kids at school and this gives them momentum. Kids don't stand up for the bullied child because they feel they might be bullied too, or won't be popular.

You are so right.Just no good for nothing stinking cowards.

yes, but so many people forget that using your brain doesn't mean that you can ignore the braun!

Your brain alone will not feed you, cloth you, or protect you from nature. Using your brain has to translate into physical action. That action has to be of sufficient force to overcome that which would seek to destroy you. Using your brain means that your 'actions' have to be 'smarter' than your opponents. Saying you don't need action or force is like CHristians saying they only need faith to live.