Yet only 13 percent of home meals are prepared by men
Article Source: msnbc.com
from:msnbc.comDad's gift to the family? Cooking dinner
Seeded on Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:01 AM EDT (msnbc.com)
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Don't be too quick to bust Dad's "chops", pun intended. Honestly I think we need to give men a chance to catch up with societal changes. You did not mention the demographic pool you are getting your statistics from. In my generation I think men were taught different skills as they were younger and are now trying to adjust, just as women try to juggle the roles of wife ,mother and provider. In my household, while it is true that I cook a lot, but I also hold down a full time and part time job.,I have one child who is growing out of the obesity problem, and one ahead of her and one behind her, that are absolutely normal, and Dad does his share. He has traditional values that he is trying to adjust to balance with today's societal norms, such as me being the bread winner. However, like the nutritionist in the story he cooks about the same amount as I do. I don't think working moms are the only factors at play, and it seemed as though that was the main focus of this article. There is a lot more to it. It really isn't clear at this point if mom's working is a major contributor to childhood obesity or if it happens to be coincidental. So statistically it might fit, but whether that is the cause should be clarified.
I get your point, but I'm 50 (and female despite my screen name) and my mother worked full time her whole life and both of my grandmothers worked full time. So, women in my family have worked full time this entire centuryl. Even if your mom did stay home and make pies and cookies...women started going to work in droves in the 60s and 70s, so it's been about 40 years. I think that's enough time for excuses.
In my home, almost every meal we eat is prepared and cooked by my father. He loves it! He's much more adventurous than my mother, and he can stand at the stove and sink for prolonged periods of time where she cannot. When we found out my mother was lactose intolerant, he had a field day discovering new alternatives she could eat so her diet would still be enriched with quality food and variety.
Meal time is family time, and I think that bonding is something important to share that most families have lost. Both my sister and I are over 18, and we all still eat our meals together as a family. Most people I speak to have a sort of "smorgasboard" style meal, where people grab and go on the run and rarely sit at the table together. How depressing! Make time for your family, make time for your meals, and rediscover how cooking and eating together can make you happier and healthier. :)
well, men can learn to cook. Women aren't born with cooking skills. At the same time, more women need to be willing to mow grass, etc. I'm quite surprised by the "traditional" division of labor in the homes of my friends who have been married 20+ years. As a single mom, I have to do it all, or pay someone. I do think more kids need to be involved - as teens, my 3 sisters and I were all required to cook dinner once a week as relief for my mom (who worked full-time); my dad did the typical weekend grilling thing.
You're right on the money here. At my house (I am female) we share the cooking, mowing, etc., whatever needs done is done by the person that has the time to do it.
I don't understand why there is something wrong with the "traditional" division of labor. There are differences between males and females, even though it is not politically correct to admit it. More women take on the role of nuturer while men typically do the manual labor. I doubt there was an article right before Mother's Day calling for women to take a more active role mowing the lawn.
There will be couples that do not follow the "traditional" divisions of labor and that is great too. However, there are reasons these divisions have formed over time, and contrary to the feminist view, it is not always the result of male oppression.
I'm sorry dude.
No woman is ever touching my frying pan...
It's only a "traditional" division because society said so, and for so many years it was only because women were home and men weren't. However, there is no reason on earth why a man can't step up and do more in the kitchen. More great chefs in this world are men after all - Mario Batali, Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay, and all the others, so you can't say it's cause it's not manly to do that. My husband can cook, as can one of our male friends who is over a lot. In fact, my husband was recently on an artisan bread kick and I certainly enjoyed that!
Female nature avoids physical risk and hard manual labor. No amount of societal change will get a woman to take a construction job with odd hours even if it is the flag waiver on the highway at 2am. Will a husband taking two hours to make a meal on the weekend encourage a wife to get up on the roof and clean the gutters?
I am female (despite my screen name) and I can tell you that cooking and hauling laundry to and from the basement and moving furniture to clean and scrubbing out the bathtub are just as hard as mowing the lawn and taking out the trash. Oh and cleaning the gutters is no big deal. You just get a ladder and a gutter scoop (Menards has them for $2 and you follow along with a metal trash can and scoop into the trash. When you're done you just use it as mulch for the flower beds. It's not exactly heavy lifting. I get that there are differences between men and women, but this all sounds like men trying to make the excuse that doing housekeeping chores is the woman's job to do and the man's job to help out. It's as stupid as men watching their own children and calling it babysitting. It's not babysitting when it's you're own child and it's not helping out when it's your own house.
Since men on average bring home 20% more than women, men shouldn't be expected to do more around the house because they do more at the office. When the financial contribution and work arrangements are more similar, then the house labor should be more equitable.
Who wrote this article and how do they know that only 13 percent of dad's cook, it higher than that. There are a lot of single fathers out there who are not counted, we dads don't go out a in the world and advertise that we are single dad. I cooked and cleaned the house everyday of my life when raising my two boys. I don't recall filling out a survey. Dads are so under rated, yes, you may have a dad here and there who do absolutely nothing but I think that is far and few. I will say one thing, dads are an important part of raising a child. I cannot even fathom how I would of turned out if it wasn't for my dad. My dad passed on in 1984 and the last time I saw him was on Father's day of that year. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my dad, especially on Father's day.
men need the same kinds of reinforcement women have always demanded for their efforts in the kitchen. When I would go ino the kitchen and start cooking something it wouldn't be more than a few minutes before my wife would show up and tell me how I was doing it wrong and instruct me on how she thought the job should be done. A few minutes of this and she had taken over and pushed me out the door. To her friends she complained that I never cooked or that I was a lousy cook. My advice ladies if you want your guy to cook more leave him alone unles he has aquestion. then keep your answer as short as possible and let him do the job. Then, no matter what inedible glop comes out of the kitchen praise it to the sky.
That is bullcrap. In the household of every relative and friend I know who are married and have kids, the man does most of the cooking, the reason being that most young women today do not know how to cook. Take my brother for instance. He does most of the cooking, usually a meat, vegies and potato or rice. The times that his wife "cooks", the main entree is usually something picked up from Whole Foods or some other prepared food outlet. That's on a good day. On a normal day, it's frozen turkey tetrazini by Stouffers. You get the idea. I work with a woman in her 20's who regularly make fun of her grandmother for spending so much cooking in the kitchen. Of course, the only thing she can cook is microwave popcorn and her kids are blimpos.
Yeah, I found that statistic fishy also.
Of course, we all know that 90% of all cited statistics are just made up out of nothing.
Including what I just said.
Simple rule at my house, I take care of the outside ( which I enjoy) my wife takes care of the inside ( which she enjoys ) besides, I could burn water!
sounds like you two need some cross training. When it's raining outside, does your wife still have to serve you dinner?
Just because it's raining doesnt mean there arent things to do. Neither one of us has a desire to be trained in the others efficiency.
But thank you for deciding what we need.
Finally! An article that says what I have always said: The obesity "epidemic" is caused by the fact that parents don't have time to cook for their kids, or to teach their kids to cook for themselves!
I am NOT blaming the parents. Do not think that! I come from a household with a single working mother and have nothing but respect for working parents. I am simply saying that it is not the fast food chains, it is not the schools--it is the fact that it is so expensive to live in this country now that parents have to overwork-even in dual income households-and don't get to spend the time with their kids that they used to. Before my father died, we had homecooked meals regularly. Once he died and my mom returned to work, it was microwaves and bags that fed us. And, we gained weight. I do NOT blame my mother. I blame the fact that she simply couldn't avoid working 60, 70, 80 hours a week.
I'm very lucky. I (the wife) cannot cook. My husband can cook. I am going into a field where I will probably work 70 hours a week. He will be able, if all goes to plan, to have hours that allow him to cook for our family once we have one. He also plans to teach our kids how to cook for themselves, as he was taught.
THIS IS A LIE ! ! !
I'm 19 years old, I'm 5 feet tall, weigh just UNDER 225 lbs, and according to my Mom our family is "Big Boned" She tips the scales at a poultry 278 lbs, my Dad just under 355. This article was insulting, and an affront to "Big Boned" people. As soon as I get done with my Golden Corral Take Home Super Buffet Platter, I'm going to call the author of this article and complain.
too funny
for 13 years, i cooked every single Evening meal for my family. After i got divorced, my kids couldnt atsnd thier mothers cooking. Now for the last 8 years ive cooked all meals for myself and my disabled Girlfriend.
I took cooking classes in High school. My 2 girls never even had those classes offered
And 95% of my cooking is from "scratch" i dont used processed foods.
I find it offensive that just before Fathers day this article comes out. just another way to put down fathers.
Agreed. Man bashing in the media sells to women and is tolerated by men. Woman bashing in the media sells to neither and is also tolerated by neither. Fathers Day is barely tolerated by women because fathers and husbands are considered to be disposable by women.
Perhaps Mothers Day should be headlined by articles criticizing how women continue to slide by with an inadequate financial contribution to both the household and the country. How about an article showing that women contribute less to the SS system yet draw 50% more because they live an additional five years longer than men. (Assume retirement age=65, men live to 75, women live to 80)
The message is "men suck". So, what's new? This has been the message for years.
Apparently, women want a roommate and not a relationship. That makes for a lot of single 'moms'.
Cook your own father's day dinner, buy your own father's day gift and continue to watch your 'set' shrink.
Since when was a relationship one sided?
Yes, I may be a stay at home mother, but that does not mean I'm a personal chef at every meal. My boyfriend is damn well capable of functioning in the kitchen and I do expect him to help out on occasion. That's the give and take of a relationship. If he pulled a 1950's mentality with me he'd be suffering from serious malnutrition right about now.
My wife is leaving me, and claims one major reason is that I didn't do enough around the house. We made a deal many years ago: I would work outside the house, she would manage the household. Now she's leaving me because she was "miserable" all those years (though much less so after she discovered infidelity). But never once did she seek to renegotiate the deal. She just got steadily more bitter and resentful that I did 100% of my job, and didn't volunteer to do 50% of hers. I always gladly did any of the work she'd ask me to do, by the way - make dinner, set the table, empty the dishwasher, etc. She claims she's leaving me because she had to ask. When she didn't ask, which was basically never, I spent my time being selfish and doing what I wanted to: playing with our kids.
So that's one piece of advice to unhappy wives: actually say you're unhappy, and if you have a deal in place that you can no longer live with, renegotiate it! Don't just wreck your family because your husband should have read your mind and didn't.
Another piece of advice is this: I would gladly have helped in the kitchen if it was something I could do with her. It would have been loads of fun to cook together. But what she wanted was to go all day without seeing me, have me come home, and volunteer to make dinner, so that she could sit in the other room watching TV, still without me.
So the other tip is this: if you want your husband to cook, start by making cooking something fun you do together, not just a chore you assign him when your resentment meter overloads. If you really don't want to spend the time with him at all, then please have the decency to leave him before he commits to being the father of your children.
Yes, I am bitter, resentful and angry, but the children are by far the best thing that ever happened to me.
Dave in NM, Did your wife do enough outside of the house? Was her financial contribution equal to yours?
Some women just want a guy to erase their pre-marital debts and increase their wealth. When child support payments are secured, they boot the husband and strip him of the children with the fantasy that some other great wallet will swoop in and satisfy her every emotional whim.
What makes for a lot of single moms are women that sleep with men who are not stand up guys. THAT is what makes for single moms.
No. Unmarried women that decide to bring children to term without a marital commitment are the cause of out-of-wedlock births.
just becouse i picked up that skunk, my wife will not let me cook!
I've cooked 99% of the evening meals for the past 20 years, from scratch like other responders. Took some simple cooking classes in my teens. At first I never much thought about it; Then I realized I was "making the grade" when after I came home from trip my son said "Thank goodness you're back; Mom's been trying to cook".
This story is just another example of "men are lazy slobs who only allowed to reside in the house at the whim of their loving spouse" attitude. I find it amusing and pathetic when degrees of worth are measured by a yardstick of the unobtainable, respect from a woman. Guess what ladies, when your man figures out the game cannot be won a new game begins.
You can see lots of guys shopping at the supermarket with their kids these days.
Ten years ago that was a a rare sight.
I'm sure that the 13% figure must be low.
I've always done most of the cooking, and now i do it all.
With the help of epicurious and allrecipes I make a 14 meal rotation, mostly from scratch.
Stonyfield has a good spring herbed pasta with yogurt, and sun dried tomatoes: http://www.stonyfield.com/recipes
I do a lot of simple meals from scratch. My husband doesn't cook because if we waited for him to come home we would starve.
Many men cook good meals for their family. My father is one of them. But there are still a lot of men out there who are content to go to work and let their spouses take care of the domestic stuff. In my world if I want something done around the house, there is a good chance that I will have to do it myself.
Also, I can make many meals healthier than the fast food joints and the chain restaurants. My husband is on a reduced carb diet so eating at home makes more sense and is a lot cheaper. I also know what my toddler is eating and can steer her toward healthly habits.
While that is true, I'm also sure I'm not the only husband whose wife expressly made that deal. She wanted the domestic life; I didn't. But I made that life for her, and derailed my own dreams. She proposed the deal: I earn the money, she manages the house. If it had been my idea, perhaps I would have recriminations coming. But it was her idea, and now she's divorcing me because I was "content" to let the deal remain in place (she never let on that she wanted to change the deal - she just got quietly resentful). She got to see my kids' firsts, while I was away at work desperately missing them. Her work was work, to be sure, but a lot of it was fun, too., and far more rewarding than the grind of my job was.
I paid a price, too, for that life. And I don't think it's fair (as she does) to blame me for agreeing to give her the life she wanted, and believing that when she said our arrangement was her life's dream, she meant it. She proposed a deal, I agreed. And now I am being severely punished for it. I just don't think that's fair.
Dont cook Dad's! It gives the Wives more time to sit on the couch and read 'Glamour' Magazine because eventually she will insult you for whatever it is you are cooking.
LOL if Dad cooks childhood obesity will go down......
What the heck is that supposed to mean? You cannot become obese on food that does not taste good.
Take care.
Jonnotjohn
It's very simple. The man in a relationship (with or without children) should cook as often as the woman. Period. And they should do half of the domestic chores - cleaning, laundry, shopping.
And it is extremely important that we recognize that the family meal - with the TV and cell phones turned off - is essential for cementing and solidifying familial relationships and conveying values to offspring.
So Dad, get off your nether parts and go and chop and sautee and serve. And do the dishes.
While women are stepping up to demand that men do half of domestic chores, men should insist that their female partner brings home 50% of the household income. Currently, women bring home 80% of the male financial contribution on average. Ladies, if you can not match your husband`s paycheck, it is only fair to make up the contribution with additional hours of chores. Manual labor is worth less than an office hour.
The reason women only bring home 80% of what their male partners do is because women still only make 80 cents for each dollar a man makes. Its called the gender gap, sweetie, look it up. Women make up almost exactly fifty percent of the workforce, which is amazing considering the social pressure placed on women to forego bettering themselves in order to take more tradional roles as wives and mothers. If women have stepped up outside the home, I think we can all agree men can step up their game inside the home. And from the comments I've read, it seems like most men are doing just that, and I applaud them.
Really? You have to put R.D. after your name? Very impressive. Your article was insulting, sexist, and demeaning to men. Let's see, break down of family, obesity, all because men don't cook. Yes, we are all sitting in the backyard listening to Skynyrd and gettin wasted. Just sick of the men-bashing. By the way, look it up, in Illinois RD is only a credential and DOES NOT FUNCTION AS A LICENSE OR RIGHT TO PRACTICE. HA, TOO FUNNY! Did I hear someone say Community College?
Had to stick it to the men, even on Father's Day, in order to have the feminist editors pick your story to publish, right? Good luck with your "writing career". You'll need it. Perhaps R.D. stands for Retarded Dame in your case.
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/16/the-evolution-of-dad/?scp=5&sq=dads&st=cse
A more appropriate article from a more worthy source.