Don't be shocked in two years when you don't give a s**t about any of it.

Its ok. Dont be shocked women 90% guys could give two $!t$

So sad that we men are so eager to please yet we are denied often.... Don't understand why women are not at the same labido level as men....

So what. I've had to fake a couple myself. Sometimes after pounding away for an hour or so I can get a little tired, and just want to go to sleep.

Yea, right, Darthfrodo.

bmas, as crude as that sounds it's probably true. And as crude as this may sound it's probably true as well- men don't need a reason to have sex...just a place

This reminds me of a standup routine I heard once

Q: Do you know how to make a woman orgasm every time?

A: Who cares?

Recently, I was seated at a booth in a restaurant that was next to a table with 4 women (probably all 40ish). Their discussion happened to be sex and orgasms. One remarked that she honestly was not sure if she still "came". She said she could no longer tell the difference between faking and reality! One of the other women said she had the same problem. I wonder how common that problem is!

As long as women use sex as a game, she should never expect a man to want to spend the time to satisfy her. Most men only care about themselves anyway. So fake it all you want. Our motto is: I got mine, now you get yours.

The real question: If they're faking the orgasm, what else are they faking in the relationship?

The real question: If they're faking the orgasm, what else are they faking in the relationship?

You mean under all that make-up, liposuction, tit jobs and face-lifts? Everything!

Its all an allusion!

Who cares, as long as I get mine!

So those big wet spots on the mattress are just a fake?.......Being out of breath doesn't help.

Guys fake it, too. Sometimes you just want it to be done, already.

But is that really the issue? Just because you are faking an orgasm doesn't mean you are faking sex, desire, love, or commitment. I have done so many things in relationships that my heart wasn't into (like the dishes, vacuuming, and work dinners,) but that I did out of commitment and love. Doing these things don't make them less valuable because of the "obligation," but more valuable because the "duty" is the cost we pay for loving someone.

Story: I was taking a medication that allowed erections, but not ejaculations. My partner at the time was so determined that I was going to orgasm that she put on a heck of a show, including cheering me on. It is one of my favorite sexual memories; not because of the orgasm, which I didn't care that much about, but because she was so concerned about my pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness.

So, what I am saying, is that "faking it" isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can be selfish, but it can also be one of the things we do to make a relationship work because we care about that person.

Luckily for me, my wife is in the "multiple orgasms" catagory... (which is not so much a bragging right for myself, as it is a damned lucky physiology that she has... although my ego is convinced it's a combination of the two)... and she has a VERY healthy libido... So I KNOW she isn't faking... besides that, if we are going too long and either of us is tired, we just agree to take a break, and pick it up again in a few...

Having said that, I can say that I personally become extremely bored having sex with an unresponsive woman... if she's just kind of just there, waiting for me to finish, I'm thinking... What's the point...?

Eupeau: At last, an intelligent post from a mature man! Thanks.

Ziti

At last, an intelligent post from a mature man! Well said, eapeau.

Agreed!! The only intelligent post from a man I've read yet!

Surprized??? We're not surprized concerning deceitful women..."Now that your done faking it, put the cigarette out, and get your ass downstairs and iron me shirt!!!" Surprized....indeed.

American women...self centered..and American men don't give a rat's ass..:)

So, what I am saying, is that "faking it" isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can be selfish, but it can also be one of the things we do to make a relationship work because we care about that person.

I like the way you put that. I was going to say, whats wrong with faking it as long as your having fun and making your partner happy? There is something to be said for getting in the mood.

The problem for many young women is they usually have their first sexual experiences with young men who don't really know what they want or how to do it. And generally speaking, young men are more concerned with their own pleasure than someone else's. They figure, I'm enjoying it, she must be enjoying it too.

And when a woman starts faking it, its hard to stop faking it. She's created an expectation with faking, and if she doesn't fulfill the expectation then the guy thinks there's something wrong, when really he was never getting it right to begin with.

Ladies if its running a little long and you've lost all the feeling down there, it's really ok to say, "that's enough".

I NEVER fake it. But then again, I don't have to.

Whoops, too funny for prime time again.....(sorry)....

The irony here is in the 80's and 90's it was a big joke that guys didn't last long enough...now it's too long.

Additionally, over the years, I learned that I am only responsible for my orgasm, not my sex partner's. She is responsible for her own orgasm. Don't get me wrong, I want her to shoot, but in the end it is 100% her responsibility. If she doesn't like the way something feels or wants something else done, it is her responsibility to tell me. The main problem with women and sex is the same problem men and women have at any form of communication. Women seem to automatically assume men should know what they want. If you are in the 80%, you are likely guilty of trying to make your man a mind reader.

In any case, I'm going to get mine and I don't require you do anything but lay there. If I would like you on top I'll ask and if it feels good, I'll let you know. If women would do the same, I'm sure that 80% wouldn't have to fake it.

Of course, I do realize that many couples have no problem communicating or reaching orgasm. If my wife gets tired, which tends to happen if I have been drinking, she let's me know to go ahead and finish. Then I'll drive it home.

There is trully no need to fake an orgasm unless you just like blaming your partner for you not getting yours...even if you don't tell them and keep it to yourself, which pretty much means there is some other psychological reason for you not hitting the mark.

The irony here is in the 80's and 90's it was a big joke that guys didn't last long enough...now it's too long.

I blame Viagra and high definition porn...

There was a lady that commented once about me being a little premature in our experience. My response was that there is no such thing as premature - when it's time, it's time. It just wasn't her time.

ACDC: "She told me to come but I was already there...."

Dragonwagon5 and the thinker-318752...So true!

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--

Bridge

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself...

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--

Did you write that all by yourself? Consider the source: a haggard, quasi-hideous, over-rated "musician" with a penchant for cheating and lack of self control! We ARE talking about you, right? Sheesh! Plagiarism is a CRIME!

But seriously, I've had a BLAST reading the comments here. Everyone thinks they know something about this topic, but the truth is it we know nothing. Most people never reach the most intimate and meaningful understanding of their own sexuality, much less anyone else's.

Moreover, there is more to life and to relationships than sexuality. You can have great sexual chemistry with a person, but would no more consider a long-term relationship with that person than you would a Rhesis Monkey! On the other hand, you can have an incredibly intimate and trusting relationship with another person; a relationship that isn't quite on the same seismic scale sexually speaking, and end up having a beautifully fulfilling relationship and marriage, as the case may be.

On the other hand, if you're REALLY inclined to make the most out of your marriage/relationship, the one you're vested in, it would seem to me you would want to be open and honest about your sexuality and trust that you both care enough about one another to enjoy your intimate times together fully. If you "love" each other so much, what's the harm in being honest about needs, wants, feelings, pressures, time constraints, etc.?

FEAR is what fuels the majority of "fake orgasms"! Too afraid to speak up for fear of reprisal, and too afraid to shut it down for fear of reprisal. That's NO way to live, ladies! The "acting out of an orgasm" has GOT to become obvious at some point, and it has GOT to be exhausting at some point. Most importantly, no body's fooling NO BODY, at least not in the long run.

Whatever happened to TALKING about things, people?? Just goes to show where our "values" as a society have ended up! Stay together and live a "faux life" for WHAT? THE KIDS? PLEASE don't do them any favors. . .they'll end up living faux lives just like YOU!

Good Billy Joel stuff.

Did you write that all by yourself? Consider the source: a haggard, quasi-hideous, over-rated "musician" with a penchant for cheating and lack of self control! We ARE talking about you, right? Sheesh! Plagiarism is a CRIME!

That song was done by Billy Joel - She's always a woman

Not once in my life time have I ever taken credit for another persons work. Or do I go around attacking and trashing every one else because my life sucks. I guess some people will just never stop trying to bring every one else down to their level.

Yep. . .ole' Billy is one VERY angry, frustrated and highly egotistical homunculus! But, HEY! He sure can bang on a piano!!! PUN intended!

And yet more attacking and trashing...how typical. Why don't you take all that energy you put into your anger and focus it on making your life better?

You would know something about anger wouldn't you, Desperate? I'm not angry, Billy Joel is angry as stated in his lyrics. Apparently, you have that in common with him, eh??? Wanker!

I can't believe some of the misandrist statements made by women on this topic.

Ziti and Smlfry2 (along with many others) need to apologize for their posts. Women get away with calling men stupid and insensitive, making generalized statements that are sexist and offensive. Men would be called misogynists for saying anything near the same things about women.

One of the things that may improve sexual encounters is if men started standing up for themselves, stopping women from verbally abusing them, and being willing to take responsibility for their position in the relationship.

Now watch all the women get all offended when I say, who cares if they faked it? We got ours. LOL

Sure fire way to make your gal scream in the bedroom.

When your done having sex, wipe your dick off on the curtain.

She will start screaming.....................

hs321 wrote "The real question: If they're faking the orgasm, what else are they faking in the relationship?"

Female deception begins with the masking of fertility and continues with the secret of conception and paternity. There are only a few days when a man knows that the woman is *not* fertile.

I've never faked it. If a guy isn't good enough in bed, I'm not going to fake it to boost a man's self esteem.

What I don't understand is WHY anyone would be in a relationship where they are not sexually satisfied.

Maybe it is true that most women don't like sex and put up with it, otherwise, why is it that 80% admit FAKING IT? I don't fake it.

I feel for guys who have women like this. Find a new one. With respect to the girls, find a new man if he's not doing it for you.

Desperate - fyi, Newsvine sometimes bans people for a day for plaigarism.

It was obvious to me what you posted but not everyone would know it's a Billy Joel song.

I suggest in the future you write the simple line - Billy Joel's blank song.

Sometimes Newsvine bans people for plaigarism

Janeinthisworld

I thought you were gay so why are you telling women how to have sex with men?

There are only a few days when a man knows a woman is *not* fertile.

If you honestly think that a woman cannot get pregnant while she is menstrating, you are horribly mistaken. The only way for ANYONE (man or woman) to know when she is fertile is by tracking her ovulation cycle, which 99% of people don't do.

If a woman is faking it, it is 100% her problem (as others have said.) "A closed mouth doesn't get fed" is a quite popular phrase (some might recognize it from a few songs) that fits quite well. If you aren't getting what you enjoy, open your mouth and say something. If you don't care to fix the problem yourself, why should anyone else?

Which uncovers the largest problem we have in society today: the open hand problem. Everyone expects someone else to fix their problems, whether it is regarding sex, economical issues, personal, etc. If people would just quit waiting for a solution and fix the crap themselves, we would be in a MUCH better situation as people, and a country/world.

tweetheart44

I've never faked it. If a guy isn't good enough in bed, I'm not going to fake it to boost a man's self esteem.

LOL, can visualize it now: "Okay, you bore me. Go home."

Sex is how adults play

Whether they're faking it or not, it only matters that they're playing

UNA-Lion, I don't believe in being fake about anything. Fake boobs, fake whatever. It makes me sick. I can't stand phony people. That, and people who go back on their word. I guess that in both situations in comes down to being honest.

What a bunch of horsesh*t. A man can easily tell when a woman doesn't come. And if a woman fakes it, then the man hasn't found the way to get her turned on to get prepared for an orgasm.

A woman has spasms in her vagina when she comes and she can't fake that. A few women ejaculate a little or a lot when they experience orgasms and they can't fake that either.

If a man wants a woman to have an orgasm, just ask what turns them on and you can see when they want intercourse. No great mystery.

If you are a wham, bam, thank you mam kind of guy then it doesn't make a difference if she fakes or not. If you want to share a warm endearing moment then it is worth the time and effort and communication to find out if she really enjoys sex and wants to mutually share an orgasm.

And most definitely most women have a G-Spot. It takes time to find it but it is there. A lot of women who are sexually unfilled don't even know they have one, until they find an unselfish cooperative lover.

Wilsonaide, Well said.

Remember always satisfy her before satisfying yourself, it goes a long way in the relationship

Well it should be the first thing on your mind considering that having an orgasm is the best stress reliever in the world!

"Sex is the last thing on my mind these days," That's to bad.

Does your husband have a one year old and full time job????

I have 3 kids, a full time job, a mother to take care of and I have always found time for sex. You are making excuses. That 1 YO has to sleep.

If sex is a chore, then your one year old is going to have a single mom pretty soon. I'm speaking from experience. Marriage over children, always. Both will benefit from that.

Not so fast

don't feel guilty about being to tired to have sex with your husband - the girls at the office will take care of him!

Take note guys. This is just one reason to not have kids. Here's how this play out in every community on the planet:

She wants a kid. So you get her pregnant. That was fun.

She has the baby and then she's too tired for sex. So you have to get it elsewhere.

That leads or precedes divorce.

Then you pay for child support and maintenance. While fighting for some kind of meaningful visitation rights.

She'll get custody, the house too. Just accept it.

When you're not there, another stud will be because she'll have found her desire for sex again. Just not for you.

For the life of me, I can't understand why so many men think they will be any different.

My record: I have no kids. Never wanted them. I have my retirement saved, own my home, own my business, Nice car and got my Harley. I go where I want, when I want. Best of all, NO BS in my home.

Don't know about that. After 18 years of marriage and a couple of kids, I'm still getting laid, and we're both enjoying it. Maybe not as often as I like, but often enough. BTW--she doesn't fake it or play games. She's just honest about everything, and that's probably why we're still married.

Bill----I hope that you won't be lonely in your old age. I know my father was ill and ended up in a nursing home. His children came to visit and that was the highlight of his days. I saw other old men/women who had no one to visit---so sad.

Karen; I was thinking the same thing about Bill. He brags about all those marvelous things he owns/has, but seems to be missing the most important thing of all...someone who loves him to share it all with.

As you so aptly inferred, his Harley won't be coming to visit him in the nursing home.

My record: I have no kids. Never wanted them. I have my retirement saved, own my home, own my business, Nice car and got my Harley. I go where I want, when I want. Best of all, NO BS in my home.

Bill, Your my hero. I want to be just like you when I grow up.

You guys judging Bill may be right, but you may be wrong... Why do we assume that EVERYONES happines involves the same ingredients...? Maybe some people are simply better off, and happier as loners...

Yeah Bill, suffer your whole life so your kids can come visit you for a 20 minutes a week in the nursing home... LOL

And with the ease of obtaining sex in the post-feminist modern world, society has enabled people like Bill to exist.

Different people's libidos are different. There's nothing wrong with you if you don't want sex so much. It's only a problem when it starts to effect your psyche.

Different people's libidos are different. There's nothing wrong with you if you don't want sex so much. It's only a problem when it starts to effect your psyche.

Or if you make your partner miserable because you don't care about it and it's all they can think about. That's a good sign it's time to go ahead and fake it.

My husband goes on and on about how I never want to have sex with him. If we had sex everyday like he wants too, it would be a meaningless chore. Instead, by only doing it when I'm "in the mood" I'm actually able to achieve orgasm. Because I feel that it's meaningful, not just something I do because he wants to. It's not fair to me to mess with my psyche and tell me that something is physiologically, or emotionally wrong with me because of my libido. It is what it is. And men need to understand that.

If it's a meaningless chore then "faking it" would be the key (convincingly faking it means they wouldn't be able to tell).

@ Bigrpic When you want to do it it's meaningful; when he wants to do it it's meaningless. Think about that.

Maybe we're not supposed to be monogamous. Maybe he can have sex everyday with different women and you can have sex with him once a week (or however often you want it) and then everyone will get what they need and no one will feel like they're performing "meaningless chores."

No way! I'm net telling he did a good job if he didn't.

MrDude

Tu che.

Bill is living life the way he wants. I'm fifty, have no kids, spend my money exactly the way I want. Not having kids is the same decision as having kids. I know lots of divorced familys who went for the "American Dream" ; Just married..have kids right away..buy a house..buy a new car........and are divorced in four years. So now the ex-husband is paying alimony, child support and lawyers because they went too fast in the "Dream Dept". I felt rather happy when I found out how much braces cost for a kid. I won't have that expense. I'm a good uncle to my nieces and nephew. I'm selfish about certain aspects of my life, so I chose not to subject a family to that selfishness. My girlfriend has her own houes, as do I. We don't argue because if we fell the need to be alone, because the other is driving us crazy, we drive there.

Being an uncle has its merits. There is a lot to be said about the rent-a-kid program. When they start geting on your nerves you can always return them to your brother/sister and go home to the peace and quiet of your own place.

Mr Dude you're right we should both be with partners who have the same level libido. I'm talking to a divorce lawyer as soon as I get home. I know a good one.

Lloyd S...

Funny you should mention that. years ago, in college, I took a college success skills course and one of the sections was on personal relationships. The instructor asked how many people had kids and those people raised their hands...all but a few. Out of those people, the instructor asked how many feel the children are the most important "thing" in their relationship. All the women raised their hands, but no men.

As it turned out, the men were right. Children are the product of the couple's love, not the center of it. Parents should lead by example, the example being 100% unconditional love for each other and the children will learn from that. They will also learn skills they will need to have a successful relationship in their own lives. Additionally, They will learn that they are not the center of a relationship, which tends to ultimately drive a wedge between the couple if kids are held in such high regard. I believe the way many people raise their children is the reason there are so many divorces and so many bad kids that turn into bad adults.

I have a friend that is very well grounded and he once told his daughter when she was having a tantrum and wishing he was dead that he and her mother made her and it wouldn't be a problem to make another one that doesn't say those mean things like she was saying to him. A few minutes later, she said she was sorry and didn't think they would need to make another one...what a riot!

Mr Dude you're right we should both be with partners who have the same level libido. I'm talking to a divorce lawyer as soon as I get home. I know a good one.

LMAO, you go girl!

So she's going to see a divorce lawyer because a couple of people on a message board said something that made her mad?

karen-545203 Having children is no prediction that one will have care in their old age. I have met too many seniors who do not want to bother their children about anything, and never tell them if they might need help. I have also meant enough seniors, whose children refuse to have anything to do with them, for no good reason that I can discern.

There also is that beautiful load of kids who don't what you to spend "their' money before you die. After all it will belong to them, so don't touch it. Baby needs a new Hummer. Ya wonder why some of these old people leave their money to their cats. Maybe the kids are dip$h!ts.

Its better to be alone, alone, then to be alone with other people in the house. With the divorce rate at over 50% and millions of divorced people on match.com and other meeting sites, unfortunately love is a crap shoot.

My female cousin after 3 divorces has found a solution. (I have to say that the divorces are her fault as she doesn't want to cook, doesn't want children and has to have her house so sparkling clean, that she cleans the house BEFORE the cleaning lady comes in.)

She now has a boy friend. He has his house and she has her house. She cheats on the boy friend but at least there is no possibility of divorce and she can't clean him out like she cleaned out the other three. And oh yes, she doesn't like sex.

bdune, I've always said to people if you don't want to take care of your other in the relationship someone else will.

No you don't Fred! Sorry!

I hate to burst your bubble, but NO man has ever caused a female orgasm. At best, he's been patient or caring enough to allow one.

Every man thinks that. Clearly about 80% of you are wrong - I promise you, you don't know the difference.

Hey don't assume that! I definitely know when my woman has one. And when she doesn't or doesn't think she will she just tells me to finish and stop trying. And it makes it less exciting for me. But surprisingly, it doesn't happen often. 7 years in.......not married, no kids, not a lot of stress......makes it easier to capture the moment with a clear head. I think that is key. Its about your mental state.

Anonymous-1937951, yes we do, chest flushing, lips deeper color, and pulsation of the vajay jay (as Opera calls it, so my wife says). Its hard to fake all three.

Sorry Cyndi--Fred is correct--vacalization is not a clue to a womans real orgasm--I could tell when my wife was real or just being nice.

Right! Thank you Gimdan! I didn't realize I was in such a minority on this topic.

Sorry to disappoint you Fred but men don't cause female orgasm. A woman's orgasm is her responsibility and the sooner both parties learn that the happier they'll be with their sex lives.

Yes. I do. There is no doubt.

Brian-1075075, your are wrong. Each party is responsible not only for their own but also their partner. I am sure any women will back me up when I say that a man has to know what the hell they are doing in order to make things pop off. As a man that was the first words of wisdom I received and it still holds true to this day.

GimDan-spread the word to all your male colleagues, I was so tired of faking it with the inept men that couldn't get a clue (or even cared to learn) and then met a man like you- 25 years of bliss now (I am 50 - and yes I still give a s**t) I may still fake it about once a year when I am just to "pooped to pop" but that is very rare. BUT I have to add that I still vocalize to a certain modest extent during his turn thinking he might like the growling/panting as he has asked me before why I don't.

when the head of your penis feels like its in an electrical cloud of current inside her and the her eyes roll back into her head as she bounces her head like crazy rhythmically back and forth off the pillow.............you know she had a REAL orgasm........it definitely dont happen as often as i would like it too.

GimDan - If the female is faking it instead of letting her partner know what she wants it's her responsilibilty. Different women want different things and I quit trying to read minds a long time ago.

DR - Did you ever let your inept partner know what he was doing wrong or did you just fake it?

fred: thank god for lesbians

Brian, no and then yes. There comes a time when a woman just has to tell him where and how but there are men who balk and don't want to take the time a woman needs to get her thing done, especially if there is only one way that works for her. Yes there are a lot of women who can't or wont instruct her partner and then they are the losers and wonder why they always have to fake it.

Brian-1075075, then if you stop trying then you never learn anything new. Women of different age want very different things, and they can be extream but fun. You have to feel it out rather then get told what to do. A women hates it when you has to hold your had to figure her out. She wants you to go get it, own it, and tear it up till she is on the moon with out having to tell you how to do it. Like I said, its fun that way.

You've been watching too many porn clips.

Brian-1075075, more like you have not been paying attention to the women. Just like everything else with a women, you have to pay attention to her and understand her cues.

Every woman is different... there are of course certain commonalities, but they are (to use a horrible analogy, please forgive me ladies) somewhat like cars... some will go from 0 to 60 in no time... others need to warm up for a long time before you put them in drive... some cars that you've had for a long time, you start to know little tricks about... you know what your car needs when it makes a certain noise... you know how to get the best reception on your radio... you know how using the AC may affect your acceleration for whatever reason... lots of little INSIDE INFORMATION is there if you take the time to observe and remember it...

AND, even if you are patient enough to take the time to figure them out and understand what they enjoy....they will change over the years... when a woman hits her mid thirties, things get put into high gear, and her body may respond differently, and her MIND (mind is very important guys) may desire different approaches, techniques, verbal cues, etc... an aggressive woman may suddenly need to be dominated more, or vice versa... getting into the 40's may bring more changes.... some may go into sexual hyperdrive, so may close up shop... EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT....

You have to hope you find yourself with a partner that you enjoy exploring the puzzle with over the years... For me I think it's great, I would hate for it to have been the same exact thing, without any variation for the last 19 years... And it would be an empty experience for either of us to just go through the motions to just hurry up and get one person off... but that's just us... to each their own.

Much detailed version of what I said! But judging by some of my peer males posting on here V had to spell it out!

Gim - If that's what you meant, you didn't say it clearly enough for me to understand. My bad.

I try to keep things short and not write novels. After all my grammar sucks anyways but working on that. Taking some course again, however I hate it!

Guys, pay attention. You think you know whats going on, but the women are contradicting you pretty consistently.

Pay attention.

A lot of times women need all 3. So, being in the mood, get warmed up (oral). Then, orgasm. It rarely happens if this formula isn't completed. I mean that's me figuring this out after 10 years of monogamy.I had to learn that.

I used to fake it early in the relationship. He wanted me to come so badly and I felt guilty for not being able to give him that internal validation. So now he knows, I couldn't fake it if I tried. When a women orgasms she doesn't ejaculate per say, but she will get very wet, and her vajay will pulsate. I mean depending on the strength of the orgasm, because there are levels. And she will get flushed from her face.

So, the only men who can't tell a fake are men who've never given an orgasm to a woman. And if that's the case don't be angry. She's only doing it to be nice. So you be nice to her and go down on her longer. That's my advice.

Actually, some men can tell the difference between fake and real. It gets tighter and wetter and seems to hug your "unit" ever so gently in a perfect manner as the body gets rigid and then convulses. It's the same scenario in a guy...there is a huge difference (no pun intended) between a regular boner and the raging boner you get right before orgasm.

I'm sorry, but you can't fake that just like a guy can't fake a boner! You keep believing guys can't tell the difference while the truth is you can't tell that we really don't care if you are faking it or not.

So who is fooling who?

Bloggerrich, I think you may be just fooling yourself. In more ways than one.

Just get a blow-up doll and be done with it.

LOL I'm so enjoying reading this article's comments. Much more enjoyable than politics and other frustrating subjects.

Guys, if your wife seems to be less interested in sex, try helping out around the house so that she's not falling into bed exhausted! Or get to bed at a decent time and wake up early in the morning, you know that 6-8 am are your 'morning wood' hours, or peak hours, in any case.

I am also pleased and a bit surprised that there are men out there that have actually OBSERVED the differences that come over a woman when she's reaching orgasm.

You go guys and ladies!

Children are a choice, and one I don't regret. I love all of mine, even when they make me crazy.

Having a partner to share your life with is wonderful, imo, the best of all possible worlds, IF it's the right person and you both work to make it good. I don't need to get along with them perfectly 100% of the time, because a little disagreement is healthy and fun. Laugh, love, and play...that's what makes life worth living. But a disappointing sex life, frankly, made me not even want to try. My first husband was a dud in the sack, and yes, I faked it just to get rid of him. Don't tell me I should have helped him to become better, because it was a lost cause. Sex is far too much fun and, to me, too important to the relationship as a whole to settle for frustration, faking it, and being irritated at the mess. I can do it all myself if I have to, but really like the...uh...equipment and interaction that goes with having a partner.

Bloggerrich wrote "Actually, some men can tell the difference between fake and real. It gets tighter and wetter and seems to hug your "unit"

Of course, some men will know this better than women. They spend more time in more different vaginas than almost every woman, including lesbians. I can attest to Bloggerrich's comment, but it's not that way with every woman.

Some women never orgasm with a partner because they themselves are unable to do without a vibrator. Even then, it takes some more than fifteen minutes. I pity the fellow that is frustrated his entire life if he is paired up with one of those.

Firstly, this 80% number came from a poll of 71 women... Wow, what a sampling...

Secondly, there are various reasons (quite a few unknown) as to why some women can or cannot have orgasms through various functions. Each woman is made differently, and each woman performs differently.

To those who state that a guy should take the time and learn what does press the buttons (which is quite easy if you take the time and actually look for the buttons) yes that is true, however on the opposite side of that (basically responding to Gimdan in 3.16...) yes women hate it when they have to 'walk people' through stuff, but guess what? No one on this planet can read minds, so if you want something done a certain way, ask for it. Just because a guy may have been with a few various women doesn't mean any of them liked the same things that you do (speaking towards women.)

Basically, if your guy isn't doing it for you, don't do like what most women do (either fake it, or get pissy and such, or even make excuses like some have above...) Talk to your guy... Let him know that you aren't getting pleasure from what you are doing, and TELL AND SHOW HIM what does it for you. Do it right (yes, it actually requires WORK, laying it out, thinking about how to do it beforehand, etc...) and you won't have any more problems.

If you are with a guy who doesn't listen, head for the door. If he won't listen with something like this (you actually have to TALK though, not just assume he won't listen...) then he won't listen with other things... And, I have yet to meet a guy who cares about his woman, but doesn't care about her enjoying sex... Most probably think they are enjoying it, but because she LIES and is DECEITFUL, she ends up with the short end of the stick.

You can tell when your partner is experiencing orgasms, and enjoying sex, when she wants to make love first thing in the morning and before going to bed, every night. The woman thought she was frigid and even went to doctors and one day, I took her out for a get to know you brunch, it quickly turned into something very different and she had the most mind blowing orgasms, one right after the other and she was flabberghasted.
After 20+ years of marriage she had her first orgasm and also found out the first day that she was multi-orgasmic. From then on, every day, twice a day.

May you all find a partner that you can satisfy and can satisfy you.

Wilsonaide, does she have a sister?

You sound bitter. Maybe you should get laid...

I actually don't "sound" anything. This is a message board. You're reading it making up apparent "sounds" in your head. I was joking...along the lines of this...

Q: Do you know how to make a woman orgasm every time?

A: Who cares?

As that answer says...who cares! Guys are just glad to get some!

Like they said, its their own responsibility, so if they don't finish they can blame themselves ! ha

"If the woman isnt asking for what she needs..."

Exactly.

Dr. Ruth said it years and years ago, communication is the key to great sex! If your partner wants to please you, give them a little help. If they're not interested in mutual pleasure, what are you doing having sex with them?

I agree with this guy....believe it or not. Women are responsible for their own orgasms. Speak up! I wonder how old these women were that were interviewed?

I am in my 30's and I stay home with my children ( so do most of my friends) while our husbands work outside the home. I know from talking to my girlfriends we all love sex with our husbands and wish our husbands weren't so tired so they were a little more interested more often (not that we don't appreciate all their hard work outside the home) BTW, i have only met a few women in my life that DONT have orgasms ---who are all of these non-orgasming women I always hear about? Are they from a repressed part of the country?

I'm in agreement here. I don't believe it's mostly the guy's fault if his partner isn't achieving orgasms during sex. First off, if the woman isn't "into the moment" with her mind, then her body won't respond. She has to allow herself to have an orgasm in her mind, and her body will follow. Second, if the guy's technique is not up to your standards, ladies, don't be shy....give him a little instruction! Regardless of what you might think about your average male, most of them really are interested in satisfying you!

"Regardless of what you might think about your average male, most of them really are interested in satisfying you!"

A lot of the men's posts on this blog appear to contradict that...

the reason men say they dont care is because they have given up trying because the subject is so taxing to discuss. men do care and would love to win the challenge; but fear of failure makes them want to avoid the chance of trying and failing.

as a women with the problem of getting an orgasm you have to SHOW the man what you need and work with him to get it done; if you expect him to figure it out on his own then dont be upset by his lack of concern.........he has no idea how to go about it and simply will take care of himself and try not to worry about your issue.

Well said....Affair girl. You hit it right on the head! It's a sad, but true, fact that guys understand very little about the physiology of a woman's body and where the erogenous zones are. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind!

It's no secret that there are MANY, MANY men who don't CARE to learn the first thing about a woman's mind/body connectivity as these things take time, experimentation and, (UGH), a man that gives a rat's pink @#$%! These men are there to get "theirs", and could care less about the "body parts" they are communing with.

It is a woman's responsibility to communicate her desires and needs to her sexual partner. However, there are certain "men", and I use that term loosely, who just don't care and/or are incapable of learning new things. Hopefully, you had an opportunity to learn this about said "man" before you made any long-term commitment. It should be no surprise that he will demonstrate this same selfish nature in ALL aspects of his marriage. Indeed, I always recommend abstaining from sexual involvement until you've had a chance to actually get to know the person you're dating. . .from the outside in, so to speak.

You'd be AMAZED at how their outward and VISIBLE behaviors are accurate indicators of their inward and INVISIBLE thought processes.

It's no secret that there are MANY, MANY men who don't CARE to learn the first thing about a woman's mind/body connectivity as these things take time, experimentation and, (UGH), a man that gives a rat's pink @#$%! These men are there to get "theris", and could care less about the "body parts" they are communing with.

So why are you having sex with them (not you literally, figuratively using 'you' to infer women in general.)?

If this were the case (such as the "not in a relationship, sleeping around cause don't have time to find a guy and teach him right" excuse) then you are self-admittingly being used as a dumpster... That isn't very flattering, and why would you do that if you aren't getting pleasure from it?

You'd be AMAZED at how their outward and VISIBLE behaviors are accurate indicators of their inward and INVISIBLE thought processes

So at least they are honest about it, in comparison to women who hide everything behind as much fake and plastic as they can... Think about it, with all the makeup, 'push up' clothing, plastic bodyparts, etc. that women use nowadays, why do you expect ANYONE to try filtering through all the fake to get to the real?

thanks for a funny and unique perspective. our society has certainly become all about appearances.

Screaming is fun. Just find yourself a woman that is capable of it. Some are unstoppable.

So...... the stereotypical woman who wants it "all night long" is a myth?

Unless there is a lot more playing then intercourse, I've always believe this was wrong. At least for me anyway.

John, Kristin is right. It becomes painful for women after a while and not enjoyable. The closest you can get with that is tantric and size. There is a saying, you can get to England in row boat however you get there faster in a tanker. ;-)

So...... the stereotypical woman who wants it "all night long" is a myth?

I want it all night long if it actually feels good. If I know Im just laboring for a lost cause and no orgasm is coming, Im going to save my energy. No use wearing out my arms, legs, back, and knees for no reason...

I fake it to let my partner feel accomplished. The guy Im with now swears up and down he is giving it to me right and thats why I stick around. Really I just like his personality, cause he aint doing much else =/

No kidding! Most women don't want their husbands on Viagra or any of these ED drugs.

And sorry Kallie - but you are in the minority for having orgasms during sex. And it has nothing to do with the mans ability but rather the way most of us are built. That's not to say it isn't enjoyable being with the man you love, but the earth doesn't move for most of us.

I've been with a lot of men, and it has never gone "all night long." Not interested in artifical substances entering my body, either.

Thank God for vibrators!

Other studies have shown that the ideal lovemaking session lasts only 7-10 minutes (from insertion to finish; not counting foreplay, assuming there is that.) And I agree. I definitely enjoy the occasional all-night playfest, but once we get down to the hardcore, I don't want it to last forever.

I only want it all night long if it's good.

The guy Im with now swears up and down he is giving it to me right and thats why I stick around

It's your fault that he isn't doing 'much else'. He does that because you make him think he DOES give it to you right. If you were to talk to him about it (instead of thinking you had to coddle his self esteem) chances are it would get better...... If he cares for you at all, that is... With your attitude though, it wouldn't surprise me if he just uses you for a dumpster...

It's all about foreplay

I know because there is a vast difference between the faking of an orgasm and the real thing and you (I hope) know what I say is true.

Tired of Extremists - If all it takes for you to think an orgasm has been had is a wet spot, you've been deluding yourself. I ALWAYS leave a wet spot, and I don't ALWAYS orgasm.

And you men who think the flush, the nipples, the convulsing v-j can't be faked . . . you're wrong. We're onto all the quiet signs too.

I'm sorry for your lack of "O" or for the personal issues blocking it, but when it's the woman who leaves the wet spot, I take that as a clear sign that she had a good time.

A wet spot on the mattress doesn't mean a woman has had an orgasm, it means you got her excited enough to naturally lubricate.

Silence Dogood, please note that what I said is called a "joke". You might appreciate come to appreciate those things called "jokes" someday if you ever happen to develop what is called "a sense of humour".

You might wish to concentrate on "Silence", since that will "Dogood" to a greater extent than your comments. That's another one of those "joke" things. I'd explain it but it's all over your head. (Silence Dogood promptly stares at the ceiling.)

Yes the wet spot. So deceiving. You're actually looking to achieve a puddle.

Some women are more like fire-hydrants while others need an incredible amount of additional lubrication. Both natural and artificial contribute to the wet spot.

Dogood - In response to Captain.....

Possible situation here - If you are hungry, but at the home of someone you recently met, are you going to expect them to feed you without asking, or will you ask if they have something to eat (those are your options because the opposite side of the situation doesn't have a mcdonalds... we aren't including your vibrator here...)?

If you expect them to know what you want and feed you, you can place the blame for going hungry 100% on yourself. It isn't their fault that they can't read your mind. Ask, and you shall receive... But if you never ask, don't bother wondering WHY you don't get what you want.

Same goes for sex with your partner. Oh, and as for the nice thing? That's your issue too. I have yet to meet anyone who cares about their partner, but not about them having pleasure during sex. Women are a lot like men in the fact that they think they know what is going on (they are doing it for their men, self esteem, etc) when in all reality if they would just open their mouths, the situation would get better.

A lot of women think they can't have an orgasm because they never have... Perhaps if they (and a partner would help) would take the time to relax, get in the mood, and FIGURE THEIR BODY OUT, that number of non-orgasmic achieveres would most likely be much less.

Bigrpic - Does forceful ejaculation work for a visible clue of an actual orgasm? Those are the ones I particularly enjoy, when my wife will shoot all over the place (and me.) I would offer to share proof (because I know there are those who say women don't ejaculate) but the videos are for her and I alone.

I bet you won't say that the next time you are selfishly thinking only of your own needs, and your partner responds with the boredom or apathy that she is feeling. It's okay to admit that you care. If we fake it, part of the reason is that we don't want you to feel like you can't satisfy us - even if that's true.

In general women don't like sex. They do it because they have to.

Ummm...not sure who you have been talking to, but he's a wake up call...WOMEN ENJOY SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN!

The reality is women need to be better in asking for what they want. However when we ask for it, boys you need to deliver! If you don't, we can just fake it, then take care of the details later....

I don't think women have to do anything they don't want to do. It's all about equality and not submissiveness.

I love sex. I think it's alot of fun. My hubby and I have been married for 3.5 years, have a 16 month old and still have sex at least 4-5 times a week. Why would I do something I don't like that often?

So I'm either the only female in the history of the world that likes sex (but judging by conversations with my friends and some of the other comments on here, that's not the truth).

Or the more likely scenario that women just don't like having sex with you.

You should work on that.

ohhh burn!!!!! nice one CE-1157550!!

Or the more likely scenario that women just don't like having sex with you.

You nailed it, CE.

And I've noticed that in this forum, for the most part, it's the men who are faking, and the women who are telling the truth!

Or CE, your husband is just taking what he can get! :P

Give it a few more years.. LMAO, eventually its the same ol crap and you just want to get it over with.

Brian. Thank you for your wise words. When should I expect this boring "same ol crap" phase to set in? Maybe year 5? Or year 7? Or does this not come until year 15+?

Considering we've been dating/intimate for about 10 years now (including the 3.5 years of marriage) I figured we would've hit that already.

And believe me, if you think it becomes the "same ol crap" then you ain't doin it right!

As GimDan and V have stated so eloquently before, a long, healty sexual relationship requires alot of communication, teaching and openness. If you're bored, that's your OWN fault. If your wife/partner is resistant to change, it's probably because she's not really enjoying what's already going on. If you trust your partner and get that high that comes with a friggin amazing orgasm, you're definitely willing to try something other than missionary in the dark...

And if you can't talk about wanting to change it, then that is the biggest issue of all.

Don't be bitter about other people's happiness, just work on your own.

IvyGirl1015 wrote "The reality is women need to be better in asking for what they want. However when we ask for it, boys you need to deliver!"

Expecting a man to pay for everything and deliver athletic performances in bed is a sure recipe for a dump due to a one-sided investment in the relationship. In my experience with an above average sample size, about 20% of women are princesses that just lay there and expect to be pleasured first, followed by the man using her body to pleasure himself.

CE, I guess my point is that its just not that important, or on the top of my list of important things, Im more worried about the future and my job and other things to care about news like this, Im reading and commenting for entertainment purposes, thats it. Were not learning noting new here, its comedy, thats it.

100% agreement here. Talking to my friends I am shocked how few of them climax 80% sounds about right. And really guys, this does impact you. Out of these couples, the ones who are not climaxing are only having sex once a month w/ their husbands. Why, because they are getting nothing out of it. Women do need to be more assertive about this. The end result for men is going to be more frequent sex - win win for everyone.

Truth is I just want sex over as fast as possible. Climax and then go watch some TV.

PigKing - if that's all you want, you can do that by yourself and not bother some poor woman with your neglect.

with a name like PigKing, I'm sure all your partners want to get it over with just as quick too.

I always "O". If I don't O during intercourse with my husband, I surely will finish after with artificial means. I have never faked an O. If you think a woman is faking an O with you, you must be horrible in bed. When she is using her toys and taking care of her own business that you are inept to take care of, she surely isn't thinking of the faked on man.

may-1938067, good one! lol

I also agree with Bear 100%. I'm 48, am multi-orgasmic, and have never faked one. My drive was higher than my ex-husband's and I often took care of things when he was not around, in addition to our activities. Other than with the last lover, I have climaxed every time (after him I finished myself in the shower). If I ever come across men with the "I don't care" attitudes I've seen on here I'm going to take a pass and pull into self service with my beloved toys.

I have noticed that older women tend to be much more open about their sexual endeavors. Can I get a confirmation or is this jib jab?

You bet we are more open. Some of us have always been more interested in sex than our sisters have, plus you learn as you get older that time is not for wasting. Sex becomes more "interesting" as your body matures. Don't take it personally guys, some of you got it, many of you don't, its ok, we understand. I love all of you.

Word I heard from some laides is age 35 when things take an interesting turn.

GimDan, I'm a whopping 29 years old here. I think I'm pretty open... granted I might come back in 10 years and tell you I was just a baby with no idea of the fun to come :)

GimDan, the average age for a woman's sexual peak is 38 (keep in mind, that's an AVERAGE, so anyone who's about to jump on that statement, remember. Average.) I can't imagine in 2 years I'll be more sexually driven than I was at 18, but if I am, I sure hope I have a good partner! I do know that, though I've always enjoyed sex and have been rather open minded about ~things~, I've definitely enjoyed more and more in the past few years.

Bear-1745002 wrote "Fellas, not all of us fake it. I am 51 and never have, not once. I can't see the point, my solution was always get back here and finish up. Gals don't let them off the hook like that"
So, you think that a man should be spending a large amount of time and effort to get you off while you don't have to spend much of either to get him off? I dumped girls like in less than a month. Once the thrill of a new body wore off, all of the skill and effort required grew boring quickly without female reciprocation.

I say, go ahead and scream, ladies. That's your contribution to the excitement of the sex.

BLS you really are living in your own dream world. Grow Up!!!!!

greenidjewel

BLS you really are living in your own dream world. Grow Up!!!!!

green really? "so it has to be true" = haha, lol, zing, etc

try to unwad your panties just a little bit...

As I said in a previous post;

I've noticed that in this forum, for the most part, it's the men who are faking, and the women who are telling the truth!

Perfect example here.

Duh. 99.9% of all women have know that about males since the beginning of time. Try to keep up.

You're say duh to me? I was stating the obvious....dork

twizdart- LOL!

Well BoBo...

there are vienna sausages and then there are summer sausages...

Just sayin...

Then there's "hide the sausage"

I think you hit the nail on the head Wendy! I can definitely tell (and more importantly, feel) the difference and definitely have the patience to help my partner achieve!

Wendy is right...the right man will know the difference. Luckily I am married to one. He can totally tell if i'm not into it, but i will still give him a little show so he can finish up, What's wrong with that?

yup this girl knows the truth!

i can definately tell when shes having fun and is really getting her rocks off. i can REALLY tell when shes not or shes trying to fake it. thats the point where i stop and ask her whats wrong, and tell her to never ever fake it with me- its the same as telling a lie in my book. i get her to tell me what she wants, how she wants it, where to touch or grab, etc. if she wont do that i'll just dump her in short order, cause theres no chance of the relationship going any further at that point. if she cant tell you what she wants in bed, how is she gonna be able to tell you what she wants out of a relationship? i have a lot of experience with that and its 100% true.

dumb guys who dont care cant tell if a girl is faking

intelligent guys who care about the girl they're with can ALWAYS tell if shes faking. they also will ask her questions and figure out how to push her buttons and make her happy in and out of the bedroom.

on a side note someone above mentioned the whole "shrieking porno scream" that a bunch of girls are doing now. i encountered that a couple years ago. soon as she started that crap i stopped, got up and left. she asked me " whats wrong?" i told her " you need to quit watching porn, thats not how real people act in the sack"

oh and one last thing- ANY woman who fakes an orgasm is a FOOL!!! all you're doing is cheating yourself out of a good time.

If it is a good time, I doubt she'd be faking it!

Ahhhh yes, communication, that's probably a key factor. It's been very interesting to read these posts. There seems to be alot of dis-respect, which clearly makes for lack of pleasure and communication. Each couple is different. There are different things that turn different people on. There should be no shame in 'not having an orgasm', and many reasons why one doesn't. Half the time, I don't have an orgasm with my man, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the intimacy, and the physical closeness. I'm pleased knowing that he's being pleasured. Sex takes time and energy, and the problems of the day can mount, and rob us (mostly women) of the desire for sex. For the most part we women, are not as 'automatic' and as easily aroused, sexually, as most men are. So patience, is in order. Why not simply ask your woman (or man) what it is that they need? Be honest, but be kind and gentle, because all of us are fragile in the 'sexual department'. Don't criticize, or blame, just say what you like and what you need. Keep it simple, loving, kind. You might be PLEASANTLY surprised.

Amen Reni!

Awesome in Austin, I'm sure your bank account is bigger than your ego, or your young hottie is not so hot.

Yer 49, and shes 28........ Shes with you because you have money not because your a kind and compasionate blah blah blah.. I mean, how else could I know that you make over 6 figures? She compliments you on your personality traits to distract from the fact that she is with you for money.... dont believe her buddy.

Awwww honey, I am sorry for the hard reality that will be coming your way. Quite a few men get taken in with that act especially around your age. Don't fret, just be prepared. And when it happens don't hate all of us, we are not all like that.

... wereas my wife is nearly nine years my senior, so go figure.

Gawd-

I did that, too... I was thirty and she was nineteen (and drop-dead sexy) and we were together for a couple of three years

She blew holes through me and left me twitchin

wow, nothing like an article threatening your masculinity and ego to bring out the inner sexist in you.

My masculinity is a long way from threatened. Reality is what it is.

You sound very defensive...protesting just a bit too much.

You're absolutely correct.

LOL Brian

or better yet

"Uh Huh... that's nice"

It must annoy women realize that entire relationships can be built on a mutually-agreed fraud. Marriage has beome a rite of passage, and sex a goal. No one seems to feel anything at all.

I find myself not caring what a woman thinks or feels; I know she's using me.

then you are a lousy doctor - studies show up to 2% of women do....and that is a fact!

you're a lousy doctor then, i've had a couple girls litterally SPRAY me when they got off.

American, female cum ejac is possible but if it is "spraying" its the other "device" that is letting go when she reaches climax. Nothing wrong with that at all but thought you might want to know. :-)

skeezing your way through medical school and Practicing on vulnerable patients does not make you an expert. Whered you get your degree from buddy... the phillipines? Dont even get me started on incompetant doctors....... You suck buddy read a new book.

gindam- nope i saw exactly where it came from , it only happened when i was rubbin her g spot with my finger and nibbling on her clit. so i was looking right at the whole works each time, and it came from the poon, not the bladder.

Right

Don`t worry American.....some of us know the truth. And THAT`S why we don`t get faked on! If you can help a woman achieve that A) She`s going to love you forever B) She`s not going leave C) She`s going to be nice to you most of the time D) She`s going to be alot more willing to take care of your needs (no matter how freaky). All in all it helps a marriage.....something 80% are apparantly missing out on.

GimDan....it ain`t pee. when I first heard about it I was a non believer too. But after witnessing it many times....well, seeing is believing! And your girl will see you in a whole new light if you can give her 5-10 climaxes in a couple of hours. Just need patience and technique...no special 'equipment' required. Learn how to do it and make your woman happy...the kindness will come back to you...

LMAO b dune !!!!! TFF !!!