Why? I didn't know that most 5th graders were having sex. I'm glad I don't live in your area of the country.

Why is time and money being wasted on a study like this... You could probably count the number of people who were interested on one hand.

"Study for the sake of study?" What next... the affect of squirrel reproduction practices during high tide on petunia growth?

I believe you are FACINATED by this study or you wouldn't

have wasted time comentating on it.

Fascinated would be the correct spelling...

And not particularly, the headline was definitely enough to make one click on it to see what the fuss was about. After having read the article, it makes me wonder if we've run out of worthwhile things to study. Hence my "comentating" on it. Formerly known as "commenting".

Okay daylight, I did.

I think the proposal is:

"Ninety-five percent, if not 99 percent, is really, really good stuff," Helena parent Brian Ackerman told HLN's "Prime News." But he added, "It's not something we can attach 100 percent agreement with all of the committee members."

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/07/15/montana.sex.education/index.html#fbid=qVsacjikeLf&wom=false

I think the point of teaching children that sex includes oral and anal as well as vaginal is to address a trend in teens in which they feel that as long as they are not participating in vaginal intercourse they are not having 'sex'.

I don't agree that these are confused, uneducated, 'immoral' minds. I hope my children will be provided with the most accurate sexual education, ranging from sex, diseases, anatomy, relationships, and even discrimination and harassment laws.

So you want strangers teaching your children about relationships and so on so forth? You have a lot of trust!

When you have parents who aren't willing, are misinformed themselves, or have their own political, religious, or social agenda towards sexual education, they are doing nothing but harming their kids. Tell the kids the facts: Anytime you have sex, there is a chance of pregnancy. Condoms and the pill make it nearly impossible for the sperm/egg to meet. The morning after pill is available, but should not be misused, and is only ~70% effective. Teachers teach kids the history of the human race, physics, calculus, and geography. Not every person will deal with those subjects on a day-to-day basis, especially after high school. However, sexual education is relevant to everyone at every moment. Tell the kids the truth, respect them, and you might be surprised to see what happens.

The only reason why your kids teachers would be strangers T momma is if you didn't bother to get involved in your children's school work.

While I am all for sex education, I am not so sure it should be allowed to be force-taught either.

Teaching your kids about sex is a personal thing and a lot of parents don't feel comfortable with having other people talk to their kids about it and I think that should be respected. I think this is limited to sex talks only though.

I see nothing wrong with informing kids about child the dangers of molestation or sexual harassment and what that means and what to do if it ever happens. Little kids don't always know that being touched in a certain way or a certain spot is bad. Young girls very often do not know what to do if they are being sexually harassed and some don't even know the full definition of it.

There is also nothing wrong with teaching kids not to act out abusively to others because they are different. That's not even something that should have to be taught in schools but because some parents are bad examples, it has become necessary.

@.Feronia

"You could probably count the number of people who were interested on one hand."

Double-entendre?

@daylight2000

How is teaching children not use slurs and verbal abuse, the proper terminology for body parts, the actual facts about real-world relationships, and how to recognize potential sexual abuse by adult predators the product of "confused, uneducated, immoral minds"? To the contrary, it would seem that opposing such education is the product of "confused, uneducated, immoral minds".

.Feronia . Sad that you don’t think our Children, and anything that might affect their moral, mental and physical health is not worth study.

And it beats the hell out of going blind.....or hairy palms.

What is wrong with the Anti-Sex ideologists that post here!!! They pretty much seem to hate anything that has to do with sex of any kind. The problem seems to be more inside their heads than with the world around them.

What we call "kids" have been having sex from the beginning of time. Some of my first sexual experiences was when I was 4 or 5, with the little girl next door; both were consenting, and both figured out what we wanted to know, and it ended amiably. Sex is a part of our lives from our earliest stages, whether you want to suppress or not.

Teens involved in sexual exploration, activity, and pleasure is natural. What isn't natural is our desire to completely ban all sexual activity of people under 18-years-old. Humans aren't built like that; we aren't robots that can have a switch turned-on one day and we become sexual. It is a gradual process with successes and failures, with joy and heartbreak. The best we can do as adults is to try to make the process as safe and rewarding as possible.

I wished it surprised me, but it doesn't, that our laws about how and when a teen can drive or sign a contract make more sense than how we deal with teen sex. Teen boys and girls are sexual, they do sexual things, they are attracted to and have relationships with many types of people, and this is all natural.

So, yeah, this should be studied so that we know as much about it as possible and can deal with it. We should also be studying why "hook-ups" have become such a fad.

Oh, another thing, we should study why Americans have such an aversion to sex.

Sad that you don’t think our Children, and anything that might affect their moral, mental and physical health is not worth study.

Sad that you've judged what I think is worth study, from one study that has nothing to add to what common sense would've divulged in the first place.

So you want strangers teaching your children about relationships and so on so forth? You have a lot of trust!

I don't think it's trust so much as just another so-called parent who should have bought a dog instead.

I'm with HighHeeledBoys. Only the truth and knowledge can help your children when it comes to sex.

By the way, I am not a big fan of those so-called "studies". What do they expect to achieve? Often time, I found those studies draw no conclusion, provides no insight, no nothing! It's a waste of money. We seriously don't need that many experts in psychology, social studies, or anything that would remotely benefit this country's future. Take note! I said "we don't need that many", I am not dismissing the contribution of people in these fields entirely. Our country needs more scientists, engineers, business people to get back on its feet.

eapeau

What is wrong with the Anti-Sex ideologists that post here!!! They pretty much seem to hate anything that has to do with sex of any kind. The problem seems to be more inside their heads than with the world around them.

It is more inside their heads than anything. It's in how a lot of people were brought up to think about sex. The attitudes toward sex have changed over time and will continue to do so but you still have people who were brought up to think and feel a particular way about it.

I don't really think there is any study needed. America is not that old. We're not so far removed from the days of the Puritans. This is just where we are in the evolution of our thought processes on sex.

This is what I think anyway.

What a bizarre society.

Mommy in the restaurant still cutting up food for her 8 year old son who is probably bonking his little 8 year old girlfriend who has size double D titties.

Hey, ain't nothin' wrong here.

What a bizarre society.

Mommy in the restaurant still cutting up food for her 8 year old son who is probably bonking his little 8 year old girlfriend who has size double D titties.

Hey, ain't nothin' wrong here.

What's wrong with it is that you even think like that. Society is not nearly as bizarre as what is going on in your head.

Really? Open your eyes and look around.

I often see women infantilizing their sons and sexualizing their daughters. And I just read an article the other day about girls as young as 7 experiencing puberty.

You just look around next time you're in public and you'll see plenty of little girls tripping along beside mommy in high heels and more eye makeup than I've ever worn in my life. And if you haven't seen mommy cutting up food in the restaurant or heard an 8 year old boy whining baby talk, you just haven't been paying attention.

Now we have studies that say it's okay for your children to f*ck because it won't hurt their grades unless they have multiple partners, and half the people commenting are defending the idea.

And you think that's not bizarre? Well, it rather proves my point.

And I just read an article the other day about girls as young as 7 experiencing puberty.

And you felt the need to mention early puberty... why? Are you blaming the girls for what happens to their bodies? You certainly made it part of your smear and it was totally uncalled for.

You just look around next time you're in public and you'll see plenty of little girls tripping along beside mommy in high heels and more eye makeup than I've ever worn in my life. And if you haven't seen mommy cutting up food in the restaurant or heard an 8 year old boy whining baby talk, you just haven't been paying attention.

There are less than great parents out there to be sure but your scenario of an 8 year old boinking another 8 year old that happens to suffer from going through puberty too soon was over the top and sick and distorted.

Quite frankly I have never seen an 8 year old talking baby-talk but I do see parents cutting meat for kids that age some because they don't feel their child is safe holding a knife and some because children don't always seem to pick up on how to do it. That is not "infantilizing" [sic]. It's called being a parent.

Now we have studies that say it's okay for your children to f*ck because it won't hurt their grades unless they have multiple partners, and half the people commenting are defending the idea.

I must have missed the part in the article where it said that it is okay for kids to @!$%#. Care to go back and get that quote?

Do I think what is bizarre? Your scenario is what is still bizarre.

No matter what I think of what is going on in society it does not cross my mind to conceptualize two 8 year olds having sex. That affliction seems to be your own.

Just plain bizzare all the way around. Fair?

@Daylight:

um... where did you get your information about Montana sex ed? It is clearly mistaken. I am a Montana citizen and also a recent high school graduate with both a mother and brother in the public elementary school system (my mother teaches 3rd grade and my brother taught kindergarten) and I have not ONCE heard of any sort of the education you speak of, though I wouldn't entirely be against it. In kindergarten, the children are only taught that there are differences between little girls and boys, then it moves on to puberty and "where babies come from" by the end of 5th grade. In such a highly conservative state such as montana, I doubt that the curriculum would have changed to be as extreme as you say. (though, for the record, children should be taught that it's ok for boys to like boys and girls to like girls. Maybe it could get rid of some of the bigotry in our society)

I suggest checking your facts, Daylight, and not getting your information from extreme right sources such as Fox news.

Had 1st graders in Portland Oregon News scandal...1st grade boys sexual assult in caseroom. The little first grader knew exactly what to do. With TV, DVDs, porn, video games, commercials, soap operas, society...children of all ages are getting bombarded with SEX. ROmantic FUN sex in glitter boy/boy, boy/girl, girl/girl.

mollyc. I think they were refering to this....

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/07/09/montana-school-proposes-controversial-sex-education-program/

sluts! south park had a great episode about sex ed where they're teaching kids in kindergarden about sex, "that's good sally, a dirty sanchez is another thing you can do with your partner, what else?" Their point was on the money, they only reason we have sex ed in schools is because parents are to stupid or lazy or embarrassed to do it.

and this is another no brainer study, of course teens who bang anyone will have poor grades, due to low self esteem, not to mention, they're just plain stupid to sleep around.

Then read the official study results.

eapeau

What “Anti-Sex ideologists”?

The problem you seem to have is with anyone who seems to believe that there is a place and a time for sex. You advocate just allowing kids to run wild, without any boundaries and become involved in things before they have the maturity and knowledge to understand that they are doing something that can affect the rest of their lives. What we should study is just how much these children are following the example set before them in the media and by “adults” who are too busy staying stoned/drunk/and perusing their own personal moment of pleasure to even care about the children.

Then read the official study results.

You missed my point. I have no problem with reading the official study...if its free. I however suspect that many people or teens won't bother to read it. They will unfortunately take this article for face value. It would have just been nice for the article to have been slightly more detailed in mentioning the other variables.

The official study will probably show that boys and girls that stay in a committed relationship do not suffer the same learning problems that one nighters do. Duhhhhh! Do many of you remember what it was like in middle school and high school to be dumped...don't say "I was never dumped". That would be a lie. Do you remember the psychic pain of realizing that your former heart throb was now being touch by someone else. Do you remember whether or not you were able to study and produce projects during episodes of psychic pain. Children are not equipped to deal with heart break and are certainly not mature enough to deal with serious and intimate relationships. When a break up occurs with the teeny bopper set, someone is hurting badly. The most feared words in a teenagers life are "Do you think we can just start being friends" or as some of us know very well that is a euphemism for "I want to strip naked with that other person now". I would reckon that the study will not show a comparison of the kids that want to bed down with somebody and the kids that are actually academically inclined and just go to school to learn. That might harm their agenda of wanting to think about young kids having sex. Why do adults want to always think about children having sex, doing studies, and then writing reports about children having sex? Sounds like we need "Perverted Justice" on their asses.

The official study will probably show that boys and girls that stay in a committed relationship do not suffer the same learning problems that one nighters do. Duhhhhh!

Are you serious or being sarcastic? I wanted to make sure before I commented.

Why do adults want to always think about children having sex, doing studies, and then writing reports about children having sex?

Maybe because children are having sex. Teen pregnancy and STD rates are something that should be worried about. Some silly scientists and psychologists believe that writing up studies helps to educate people, shift paradigms, provoke further research, and bring about change. You know, like that silly Kinsey fellow...

Not sure the Christian values are good or healthy either.

Obviously, Daniel, if a high school girl is having sex, then it is because Satan is making her do it!

Get real. Kids are going to have sex. I, as well as most of my peers were having sex in high school, and I graduated in the mid 90's. Kids were having sex long before that.

If your daughter is getting good grades and doesn't get in too much trouble, and your only gripe is that she is having responsible, protected sex in a somewhat committed relationship, I would say you have a pretty good kid.

My upbringing was so repressed that I did not know

what a naked female body looked like until one day I

found a discarded "Penthous" magazine in a field.

In my experience, Christianity has nothing useful to

offer regarding teenagers and sex.

Christianity has nothing useful to offer regarding teenagers and sex.

I don't know, JEM, some of those catholic school girl outfits are kind of nice. And as I recall, those repressed girls were a lot of fun after they got away from their parents and churches and let loose in college.

But otherwise, I agree completely.

wicked?????
you ACTUALLY USED THE WORD WICKED?????

Reminder, If the teenage girl is having sex....there is also a teenage BOY having sex! And I do agree, if your teen is having sex and your focus is on their grades, maybe a priority check is in order!

How about teaching them abstinence until marriage. That is a novel Christian idea. It would probably help them in more ways than just grades. However, it is a Conservative idea and way off the Liberal way of thinking.

Abstinence only education DOES NOT WORK. That is what has been taught in the past, and teenage pregnancy in the US is on the rise and near an all-time high. THAT is why teaching abstinence until marriage will not work, because it has proven useless in the past.

Which past....the recent past where parents abdicated their responsibility to properly teach their children morality and responsibility for their actions, to the the schools ie. government....

The recent past where for the last 3-4 generations children have been taught that they are nothing but animals and have now set out to prove it.

The past where instead of setting and example for the children to follow adults are too busy getting drunk/high/laid to even pay attention to what is going on in their children's lives?

It is not the teaching that is in error...it is the example set for them.

Abstinence until marraige really does work, Ask Sarah Palin! (Please note sarcasm)

Sex is a natural instinct. Although I don't agree with teaching abstinence, at least it is better than saying nothing to your children. Ignoring any talk about sex with your children is a recipe for disaster somewhere down the road.

In my experience, (having 2 sons and 2 daughters), all being taught safe sex from a young age (13 or 14, and all adults now), I've noticed the girls have been more responsive to these talks. Maybe it's because they mature quicker? Not that the boys didn't listen, but when we talk about it today, they took more chances as a teen when having sex, while the girls didn't.

Luckily, all turned out well for them, everyone is healthy, and we are still be able to talk about it when we get together. I didn't teach them to have sex, but they are human, I didn't believe in wearing blinders.

It's funny, we had dinner last night with my oldest 28 year old daughter, she is thinking about marraige, and she joked about CCC as we were also in the company of my brother (who also taught his great kids CCC). Condoms, condoms, condoms, she still remembers hearing that throughout her younger years, and is greatful for the advice.

It depends on the kids, and how they are brought up....raised 3 daughters and one son....all are married but the son and the girls did wait for marriage and have thanked us many times for their raising.....

really you christians/catholics/other religions of Christ, need to stop being such Hippocrates. You preach and preach about values, yet have you really looked at the bible it basically a bunch of stories about war and violence.

And you should truly read the bible, yes there is history of war and violence but when taken over all it also gives a story of hope and peace. Kind of like any U.S. history book.

Teenagers must have availabel Norplants, birth control pills, contraceptive shots and condoms.

Appurtenance sucks.

Restrictions on contraceptives cause pregnancies or worse

JEM . permissive attitudes, lack of moral training, lack of adults setting a moral example, lack of adult concern, all cause pregnancies or worse.....

I'm not so blind to believe that my children will not be interested in sex at some point. That is completely idiotic. Nor am I stupid enough to believe that letting someone else teach them about sex education is the way to go. Kids need to be able to trust that the adults in their lives will not gloss over the tough questions they have. If my kids have a question, then I answer it to the best of my ability. If it is something I just don't know the answer too, I find the answer for them. My job as a parent is to help them grow up and be responsible and productive members of this society. If they don't have confidence in themselves and the information they have, then how am I helping them do that?

I know that there are tons of belief systems out there, but honestly folks, which kids are the ones truly getting themselves into trouble? Would it be the ones who are able to get a straight answer to the tough questions or the ones who get to figure it out for themselves via trial and error?

Like you, my teen abstinence was not voluntary but my grades as a teenager were good.

Someone should do a study on this "phenomenon" or maybe, just maybe sex or the lack of it has nothing to do with grades. What a stupid study.

My life would have gone far better if I was

allowed to visit brothels as a teenager. What

is the point of working and studying hard if the price

is to enter college a vergin?

Christianity left me with so many sexual hangups as to

ruin my life of intimacy; permenantly.

Wide use of Norplants and contraceptive shots mixed with

rational (and innovative) STD control is the solution.

Abstinence sucks.

Craig, good call.

I am going to throw out another hypothesis:

The study stated that the GPA's of kids in relationships was the same as those that were not having sex. It seems to be implying not that there is a relationship between sex and grades, but that sex among students is prevalent among a heterogeneous cross section of students, and not just among the underachievers, bad kids, and students with low self esteem, as some of the abstinence advocates would like you to believe.

Again, I am not drawing a conclusion, just throwing out a hypothesis that deserves more research.

I agree, Mitt. I think they've done the study backwards to tell you the truth. They say teens who have casual sex are more likely to drop out of school and what not but it's really teens who plan to drop out of school are more likely to have casual sex. Sex has nothing to do with grades at all, it's all about effort.

The problem with teen abstinence is that we are constantly being bombarded with tits and ass on TV, in advertisements, in film, in public. People are no longer modest, especially women. So naturally the interest in sex will come up...among other things. The cards are stacked against teens then people wonder why they are having sex.

"especially women" you can say this after crap like Twilight sells because a man has his shirt off?? Double standards are easy to overlook when society has allowed pricks to tell women they have penis envy. Ever hear of the term "metro sexual" is that not the male version of what women have done?? We want to be appealing, we want to be noticed, but most of all...as humans, we want to be loved. It is how we were made. "Tits and ass" are the objectification of the lack of love in our lives. Most adults, when honest with themselves, don't have to wonder why teens are having sex, they KNOW WHY...the difficulty is changing the patterns in their lives to make a change in their children's lives in order to skillfully guide them to better choices.

really?-2204497
We want to be appealing, we want to be noticed,

Then do so within the bounds of good taste. If it looks like a tramp and walks like a tramp...it's probably a tramp.

see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uscmRI9ZrE

We probably wasted millions of tax dollars on this goofy study. I'm sure some politicians relative benefited one way or another.

You don't have to be abstinent from your fingers or your hands.

If this study was done by a college or university, it did NOT use tax dollars. Educational institutions use their own money, whether it's donated or student tuition. In fact, a lot of these so-called "useless" studies that many of you denounce are in fact projects that our would-be college graduates do specifically as part of their chosen path of education, be it sociology, psychology, human sexuality, or anything else remotely related. I would assume they are graded, or at least it is a graduation requirement in some cases.

So before you go complaining about wasted tax dollars or calling something useless, look into it before being judgmental. Part of being the "responsible adult" that you are all masquerading as is making yourself as informed as possible. Just seeing and reading something without further looking into the truth of the matter, and then making a crude, uneducated comment on it, only makes you look worse.

Hey free and fed...can my boy come over and screw your daughter. Would that be fine by you?

Irregardless of your moral convictions, how on earth does teen sex cause "infertility?" AT ALL. Much less as in the same sentance as "unwanted pregnancies."

ANY kind of sex can cause STDs. STDs are always bad. Ergo, the entire planet should stop having sex.

Damn. There goes the race.

Canadian-848517

teen sex causes STD's, infertility, unwanted pregnancies, emotional and relational disorders, problems with committed marriages etc etc etc.

This may have been YOUR experience, but it certainly isn't true for everyone.

One way to control STD's among teenagers is to

always wear galoshes in the rain. Next, frequent

testing and treatment.

Our STD problems are caused more by sexual hangups

than the diseases themselves.

There hasn't been a case of AIDS from the legal brothels of

Nevada in years.

Sherrasama

Many sexually transmitted diseases can lead to infertility. Plus a condom does not protect the transmission of ALL STD's. For example: HPV, the virus that causes genital warts can pass through the pores of most condoms. And over 95% of all cases of cervical cancer is associated with the infection.

This is why the HPV vaccine is so important! Get your teenagers vaccinated. It's not just about preventing STD's; it's about stopping cervical cancer.

There are far many more things at stake than grades, when it comes to teenagers having sex.

Irregardless of your moral convictions, how on earth does teen sex cause "infertility?"

Because they can't breed when they're already pregnant? I dunno...sad logic on that first post.

This is for Sheershanna, STD's if left untreaded, can cause infertility. What planet are you from anyhow?

Sherrasama: "irregardless"...LOL

Sherrasama drop the "ir" in that non-word and you will have the correct word "regardless". That goes for every MORON who uses irregardless.

Probably the same people who say, "I could care less", when it should be, "I couldn't care less".

And the same people who say, "should of", instead of "should have".

OK, I'm done.

@Canadian-848517

"teen sex causes STD's, infertility, unwanted pregnancies, emotional and relational disorders, problems with committed marriages etc"

If what you say is true, it would appear that frank and functional education about sex and contraception should be mandatory.

Microorganisms cause disease, sex transmits them (ALL sex, not just teen sex). Pregnancies that are "unwanted" is a choice.

That's like saying "can I aks you a question?" or some such ignorant statement.

1 in 4 teens has an STD.

You are correct, this is NOT a scholarly study!

Free And Fed:

While I agree with your intended ideas, your post is as idealistically stated as those with hyper-religious views. What your kid "knows" and what the kid is "allowed to do" are two different things. In America, we are becoming a nation of diminishing structure. Many couples are not committed to rearing a child in a fashion that is healthiest for the child and society. Look around.

The size of the population studied and methods used (note that the questions weren't given either) renders this entire article and study a piece of garbage.

I can't say I don't sort of agree with you. For one thing, the data they were using is pretty old. They are using surveys from 94-95 academic school year. For all we know they may not have collected data from a representative sample of the US teen population. We don't even know if it was random sample. I wouldn't go as far to say this study is a piece of garbage, but I'm definitely taking this article with a grain of salt.

Free and Fed...your lack of leadership with your boys is creating a society of single mothers all across this country. Permissiveness is not leadership. You do not like the moral view, the religious view, or the health view. Perhaps you should try to understand the damage done to young kids that engage in promiscuous activity when they are not emotionally mature enough to understand human bonding. Maybe that was a problem you had as a teenager, but please don't try to pass your permissive attitude off as being enlightened. It isn't!

Perhaps you should try to understand the damage done to young kids that engage in promiscuous activity when they are not emotionally mature enough to understand human bonding.

You don't believe that 18 is old enough to engage in sexual behavior? She did not say anything about her children having sex when they were younger. You are now making things up.

Maybe that was a problem you had as a teenager, but please don't try to pass your permissive attitude off as being enlightened.

Who are you to assume that she had a "problem" as a teen? Who are you to tell her how she should raise her children? Its fine to have an opinion, but you're just digging for an argument!

your lack of leadership with your boys is creating a society of single mothers all across this country

Divorce also creates single mothers. Death and murder creates single mothers. Artificial insemination creates single mothers. What is your point? I have seen many wonderful single mothers.

The media is obsessed with whatever will attract readership

and dollars. Sex sells.

The media, as are consumers, obsessed with sex. At least, this is what the media would like us to believe because it makes $$$$$$$.

How do you know whether someone has the mental and emotional maturity to deal with sex? Is there a written exam? Perhaps some lab work? You can't link it to personal hygene. I know 40 year old men who could use a lesson in that. While it'd be nice to limit their ability to reproduce, it's not exactly something that would ever fly.

The fact that we consider 18 years to be an "adult" is cultural. It's also pretty silly to say that a 16 year old is emotionally and mentally mature enough to pay taxes but not enjoy the freedoms ensured by the government that those taxes pay for.

Eric-944484
How do you know whether someone has the mental and emotional maturity to deal with sex?

When sex is not viewed as just another toy for kids to play with but as a matter with serious consequences both emotional and mental. When you realize that "friends with benefits" is a disgusting concept. When you are capable of handling unexpected pregnancies or STDs without having to run to mommy and daddy for help.

In short, when you are an independent adult.

HAL9000,

I have friends 50 years + who have "friends with benefits" and many, many, adult friends who would have serious financial and social issues if they were to unexpectedly become pregnant or contract an STD. Perhaps you're one of those whackjobs that thinks that sex should be reserved for married couples attempting to have children?

Free And Fed
There's nothing whatsoever "disgusting" about the concept of "friends with benefits" ...Grow up.

Says you. Good luck establishing a healthy monogamous relationship with that attitude. It take more maturity not to act like a rutting pig than to screw as frequently as you defecate.....just because it's "natural."

Eric-944484
I have friends 50 years + who have "friends with benefits" and many, many, adult friends who would have serious financial and social issues if they were to unexpectedly become pregnant or contract an STD. Perhaps you're one of those whackjobs that thinks that sex should be reserved for married couples attempting to have children?

Dont confuse age with maturity. The key word is "self respect."

What does self respect have to do with enjoying yourself and others to mutual benefit? Are you just randomly spouting key words now?

When you are in a committed relationship, one can screw more frequently than one defecates...love the fringe benefits! And as a consenting adult with adult conversations and choices, neither party worries about the "serious financial and social issues" of unexpected pregnancy. But what does that mean anyway??? If you have sex, you should EXPECT pregnancy as a consequence. If you are having sex with a friend, you should EXPECT the possibility of STD as a consequence. WARNING....The CDC has found the age group with the fasted rising STD rate is the elderly-not teens!

Eric-944484
What does self respect have to do with enjoying yourself and others to mutual benefit?

Remember those words when your significant other tries to explain why he/she cheated on you.

That's not self respect, that's respect that she has for me, what we have together, and her desire not to hurt me or lose what we have.

Pretty simple.

Free And Fed
And yes, we had a sex life while we were dating and before we got married. I wouldn't have married her otherwise.

Good, then get together with you buddies and compare notes on how good your wife is. I'm sure they've already been there.

BTW..sure those kids are yours? Remember, there is nothing disgusting about "friends with benefits" as you said.

I don't think you understand the term, Hal.

Friends with benefits refers to two people who don't want the ties of a relationship but do want the proven health benefits of being sexually active. It has nothing to do with polygamy or cheating spouses.

Eric-944484
Friends with benefits refers to two people who don't want the ties of a relationship but do want the proven health benefits of being sexually active. It has nothing to do with polygamy or cheating spouses.

I understand. What I'm saying is that once you blur the boundaries of appropriate sexual relationships, it makes it that more easier even if you are married, committed, whatever...to continue doing the same thing with the same "friend(s)." So you think your relationship is special because you said "I DO?" Wrong. Past behaviors will come up again and again.

"Habit is stronger than reason."

-Santayana

So if people who want "Friends with benefits" are only looking for the proven health benefits of being sexually active, why the hell not jack off discreetly? No risk of pregnancy, STD's, embarrasment, etc etc. Besides you might just get lazy and let your partner do all the "work" for you, as opposed to actually feeling your forearms get pumped once your finished with yourself. It's a tried and true experience for me dude! =D

Free And Fed

HAL -

RE: "Good, then get together with you buddies and compare notes on how good your wife is. I'm sure they've already been there. BTW..sure those kids are yours? Remember, there is nothing disgusting about "friends with benefits" as you said."

Excuse me, were you 'born' being this clueless and obnoxious, or did you have to go to a special school to 'learn' it?

Man, it must REALLY suck for any woman who is unfortunate enough to temporarily have you for a 'partner'. Maybe that's exactly why you have to try to trash other peoples' relationships, huh? Not much fun for you, being bitter and alone, is it?

It must be tough for you, finding women who meet your exacting 'standards' - especially, when they tell you to take a hike and stop bothering them or they'll call the cops.

So what you are saying is that if your wife had had a sexual, non-committal, friends with benefits relationship with say, two of your friends prior to your marriage, it would not be OK for you all to hang-out together? Or would it?

You would be OK sitting at the dinner table with buddy #1 and buddy #2, knowing that your wife had done you all at one point or another?

But didnt you say there was nothing wrong with the whole concept of "friends with benefits?"

BTW..I didn't trash your relationship, I'm just stating possibilities given the circumstances so grow up.

The problem is that you're grasping at straws here. If Free and Fed is a mature, responsible, understanding adult (which, by marrying his wife, regardless of whatever sexual history she may have, I assume he is) and his wife, and the two "buddies" in your example are also, then there should be absolutely no issue here. Is it so hard to comprehend that anyone can be a complete and sexually, realistically mature person WITHOUT being indoctrinated in the Christian policy of being abstinent until marriage and then only having sex for the purpose of procreation?

The "friends with benefits" concept is a step up from random hook-ups. It shows you aren't willing to just romp in the sack with just anyone. Y'see, where I come from, a "friend" is someone I've known, and been closely involved (in the familiar sense, not the sexual sense) for a long period of time. Wanting to give yourself (or of yourself, if you prefer) to someone you know and trust over some random hook-up, at least from my standpoint, is at the very least showing SOME common sense. It's not my personal preference, I don't practice it, but I respect others' decision TO practice it.

As really? has stated earlier, pregnancy should be AN EXPECTED CONSEQUENCE. In light of this, when educating your children, just saying DON'T HAVE SEX isn't going to be enough. If you tell a child not to do something, will he or she not just do it anyway? I won't post imaginary statistics, but I'm fairly sure a good portion of teenagers who go and have premarital sex are doing it because their parents have expressly forbidden them to. I for one would much rather have my children grow up knowing that while I may not necessarily WANT them to engage in sexual activity, that if they do choose to make the decision, that they should be responsible about it, use as much protection as humanly possible, and be wise in choosing their partners.

All your arguments seem to tell me about you is that YOU are the one who is not sexually mature, HAL.

Fifi10

Then what is teen pregnancy caused by?

Not using birth control.

That's the kind of question you ask if you've never had any sex education, and why it's so important to start educating kids early.

Not using birth control.

I know a few women who were on birth control, either the pill or the patch and still got pregnant.. Just like everything else birth control isnt 100% effective..

Birth control is 99.9% effective. It's a vast approval over nothing at all.

Sex causes pregnancy. Teen sex causes teen pregnancy. It only takes one sperm out of 50million to get into a single egg. Please know that NO birth control is 100% effective unless your birth control is abstinence....Adults practice this form of birth control all the time, it is not just for teens!

@Fifi10

"Then what is teen pregnancy caused by?"

Liberals and Progressives -- and Barack Obama, of course....

Please know that NO birth control is 100% effective unless your birth control is abstinence....Adults practice this form of birth control all the time, it is not just for teens!

X( Okay, so I must be the only person who does not consider abstinence to be an effective form birth control. Its totally unrealistic to believe that the majority of women who don't want to get pregnant will remain abstinent. Sure, I'll give you the fact that no birth control is 100% effective. However the chances are very slim, especially when birth control and condoms are used in conjunction of each other. Its not like pregnancy occurs every time people have sex.

CHaa,

Wife was on "the Pill" and were using condoms when she got pregnant with first child. I was also supposed to be "sterile" due to childhood illness, but have two kids today. I'm not particularly "religious" person but when "God", (whomever you want to believe that is or isn't, even if that is just the chaos of universe, for you atheists/agnostics) decides its "your time" you get pregnant.

Think about it this way. If a method of BC is 99.99% effective, that is .01% failure rate per use. So 1 women in 10,000 get pregnant each time have Sex. So if 10 million women use a BC method and all had sex on day X, 1000 of them would likely get pregnant. Might be more might be less. That is how statistics work. Condoms are supposed to be 95% effective, but you could use them and they "fail" every time. Birth Control doesn't prevent pregnancy, it just reduces your risk.

I am well aware of how statistics work. I spent hours entering in data to chi square as an psych undergrad. Notice I said that no birth control is 100% effective. However, chances are very slim if both contraceptives are used. I actually used both methods and got pregnant myself. I wound up miscarrying, which was painful but for the best I guess. I can't say I trust birth control fully, however I'm not about to halt my sex life just because my birth control is not 100%.

They are like everyone else. A good relationships improves their lives. I've run across study after study that indicates protected sex doesn't harm teens, but bad relationships sure do.

It sounds like common sense to me.

And I think this is the crux of the issue. It's the relationships teens develop and explore that are important, not the fact that they're having sex AT ALL.

If it is a good, strong, supportive, reciprocal relationship, where both partners have at the very least committed to staying true to each other while together, then it is actually a very healthy and good thing for a teen, during a time where he's bombarded on all sides by media and peer influences trying to get him to do, at least what I consider to be, bad things (i.e. vandalism, recreational drugs, smoking, drinking, driving while drunk, etc.).

But women complicate things.... rofl!

hey Dan your right im a high school Senior and i have better grades cause i have sex with my girl so im more focused personally sex helps get you focused cause getting laid is no longer a problem

Will you still perform at your best at work if you accidentally have a baby? Should we prohibit working women from having children as well? Pregnancy has the capability of disrupting ANYONE's life.

Morality is a relative term. Your morality is not my morality is not your great grandmother's morality. Who are you to impose yours on other people?

Morality. People keep on using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.

Why don't you tell us the definition of it 'stupidity'? You seem to know everything. lol

Statistically, your kids are ignoring you and having sex so you're wasting your breath.

Statistically, your kids are ignoring you and having sex so you're wasting breath that could be better spent trying to ensure your kids are as safe as possible.

Um..sir, don't get mad but are you sure your wife didn't lie to you? I know lots of women like to trap men with pregnancy. Or maybe she wanted a baby and you didn't? She "accidentally" forgot to take it or "It's a miracle! I'm pregnant while using birth control!" I mean, you never know unless you were actually monitoring her pill intake. I also think you shouldn't tell your children that because when you're young, sometimes it may seem like you may want to spend your life with that person but a few months later you two aren't talking. I just think you should elaborate with them.

I guess the word CONDOM never enters the male mind?

Don't want a kid, keep your pants on, use your hand or wear a condom (the least you can do)...

Eric - Do you feel better now? I've seen some of your other posts, it seems as if you're just an angry person who likes to denigrate others so you can feel superior.

Jade - Yes she could have lied to me, I believe that she didn't. My wife and I are still in love after 20 years of marriage and have a very good relationship.

Angela - How many forms of birth control should I be using? Foam, IUD, pill, condom? PS I know plenty of people who have had a child while using a condom.

That's another thing that bothers me, Angela. For some strange reason, there are men who just cannot fathom putting latex over their penis. Sure it might not feel as good as doing it au naturale, but I would think the reduced risk of pregnancy would far outweigh that.

I guess some people really don't have their priorities straightened out.