Actually, being horny is just part of our animal nature. And wanting to throw pokes at multiple partners is very much a man's nature (women do, too, but not nearly to the extent men do). As such, my partner and I, both being men and understanding firsthand the natures of men, have a well-established set of boundaries concerning sex with other people. As long as neither of us breaks the rules on which we've both agreed, life is good. And, since we're not trying to control each other, being oppressive, possessive, etc., it all works very well.

Sex is only about 5% of a good relationship, and 95% of a bad one. If you think your significant other just having casual sex with someone else then coming straight home is cheating, your relationship is doomed, because to assume it's all about sex is to have it all wrong about what a true relationship is. I don't get mad at my partner for having dinner with friends, so why would I care if he messes around with them? Both are things that feel good, but neither automatically makes one fall in or out of love with a person...at least if they're worth being with in the first place.

Our relationship is one of deep love for each other, and a fierce feeling of protectiveness, loyalty, concern for each other's well-being, understanding that we're both vulnerable, no matter how strong, brave and capable we might be, and, as such, caring deeply about helping each other overcome our vulnerabilities (or at least not to fall victim to them), and the understanding that we're able to have together the kind of life neither of us could have on our own. Sex is just icing on the cake. Heck, it really isn't even icing on the cake. It's just little decorations on the icing. Even without them, the cake still tastes great.

That's one thing most straight people don't get, which is a huge part of why their divorce rate is so high. They have incredibly unhealthy notions about sex and its role/importance in relationships.

Nice try. The divorce rate is so high because of decades of undermining what the marriage vows are about and the fact the government defined marriage (for its own agendum) rather than solely within the religious realm. Divorce is seen as a legit way out for anything and everything. It's all selfish.

The one thing most gay people don't get, which is a huge part of why their ACTIONS aren't well accepted, is that they have outrageous notions about their sexuality being 100% who they are. Wear your orientation on your sleeve for the world to know, and then be so prideful to think in your "secular unions" that divorces aren't inevitable. Wake up. You legitimize your sexual activities, mannerisms and political views within your community already. Why demand society accept your sexual actions as an acceptable lifestyle? Sex does not equal love/marriage. Isn't that the real reason you wish to marry legally? Society being mandated to swallow the fact homosexuals' lifestyle choices must be accepted, including what happens in the bedroom? Adultery, polygamy, pedophilia, pornography, divorces all carry a negative social connotation. So does homosexual activities/actions.

The divorce rate is high because people are becoming more selfish.

In the case of this story. The primary reason a guy married to a high-earning woman is more likely to cheat is because he married her for her money and not out of love. He probably didn't even care to learn what she likes and she eventually senses that and acts accordingly and we have a loveless marriage.

The main reason why this country has such a high divorce rate is because so many men pretend to be somebody they are not before they are married. Then once the vows are spoken they turn into the person they really are. They become less romantic and take their woman for granted. They become someboy their wives don't even know anymore.

The divorce rate is high because people are becoming more selfish.

Ding ding!! It all started with the ultimate selfish statement -- "You have the right to be happy". When married people started focusing on themselves and NOT their partners, we started a big slide downhill.

This study is flawed because how do they explain Tiger's infidelity? Or Donald Trump?

Jesse James is a bad example because he was married to a pornstar and has no morals.

The fact is all types of people cheat.

A nice try that has gone on for years. Too much tax $ goes to the care of the children who are part of these flings.

Rhodes...I think pie would be a better analogy than cake...

KCM,

Of the warm apple variety? ;-)

Men don't like to be viewed as "house husbands", so they cheat to compensate for their perceived lack of masculinity.

RW...Or because they like to trim hunt?..

Or just perhaps the high earning women have become so dedicated to their careers that they've become self absorbed, cold hearted bit-hes that have no idea how important intimacy is to a successful relationship. Human beings, both male and female have a need to feel loved. While an affair may be a poor substitute for love, being wanted is a powerful force. Both career oriented men and women need to learn to put as much effort into their relationships as they do careers. Only then will the unfulfilled desires that lead to cheating be met at home.

Oop's ... and that's how the fight started!

CHUNKY-MONKEY:

When a man marries a female that is slim, looks good and that took pride in herself, and then five years later comes home to a hippo of a wife, well, he has every right to cheat.

Men get fat and ugly, bald and hairy too, what about us?? Most men past 30 equal YUCK! I take care of myself way better than most guys I know. Don't get married if you're a cheater. Stay home and nurse your beer gut while watching attractive women on TV that would NEVER get with you.

Chunky Monkey,

So you're saying that marriage and even the relationships that precede it are all about looks and sexual attraction. Thank you very much for illustrating my point about how straights view relationships and sex. It's their belief that sex trumps everything else that causes such a high divorce rate. They tend to be pretty darned clueless about what a real, honest, true relationship is. And they say the gay community is obsessed with sex! No, honey. We just don't worship it and think it's the end-all, be-all of a relationship.

I'm not knocking heterosexuality, mind you...just heterosexual culture, especially since they keep saying their relationships are superior to those of same-sex couples and are the only ones that deserve legal recognition and protections, yet theirs are actually the flimsiest kinds of relationships.

gimmeabreak wrote:

"Nice try. The divorce rate is so high because of decades of undermining what the marriage vows are about and the fact the government defined marriage (for its own agendum) rather than solely within the religious realm. Divorce is seen as a legit way out for anything and everything. It's all selfish."

Gimmeabreak. Any chance you can cite some actual evidence to back up your claims? Until long distant day that that happens, these are nothing but talking points from the thrice-married Newt Gingrich and the four-times married Rushbo.

"The one thing most gay people don't get, which is a huge part of why their ACTIONS aren't well accepted, is that they have outrageous notions about their sexuality being 100% who they are."

Gimmeabreak. Aren't well accepted by who? You're not describing any gay person of my acquaintance. You are, however, describing a common heterosexual attitude that defines gays solely in terms of their sexuality.

"Wear your orientation on your sleeve for the world to know,"

Gimmeabreak. You don't wear your orientation on your sleeve? If I met you, I wouldn't be able to tell if you are gay or straight?

"and then be so prideful to think in your "secular unions" that divorces aren't inevitable. Wake up. You legitimize your sexual activities, mannerisms and political views within your community already. Why demand society accept your sexual actions as an acceptable lifestyle? Sex does not equal love/marriage. Isn't that the real reason you wish to marry legally? Society being mandated to swallow the fact homosexuals' lifestyle choices must be accepted, including what happens in the bedroom? Adultery, polygamy, pedophilia, pornography, divorces all carry a negative social connotation. So does homosexual activities/actions."

Gimmeabreak. The whole point is that society doesn't have the right to accept or reject anything when it comes to human sexuality unless there's a clear danger to others involved. In other words, sexuality is personal matter thankfully beyond the reach of people like you.

As for your list, it's news to me that pedophelia has the same negative social connotation as divorce. And connotation or no, it's also the case that "society" decided a long time ago that it had no business controlling three of those five activities. Are you suggesting that a gay man has no more moral standing than a polygamist or a child molester?

Gimmeabreak.

L.J.Rhodes: "That's one thing most straight people don't get, which is a huge part of why their divorce rate is so high. They have incredibly unhealthy notions about sex and its role/importance in relationships."

Are you saying that most in the gay community do not practice sexual fidelity?

I think these studies are useless. People who cheat simply have no self-control and no ability to commit to an intimate relationship.

People always have a choice. If you don't want a monogamous relationship don't get into one. If you have no self control at least have some respect for others.

I'm not knocking heterosexuality, mind you...just heterosexual culture, especially since they keep saying their relationships are superior to those of same-sex couples and are the only ones that deserve legal recognition and protections, yet theirs are actually the flimsiest kinds of relationships.

You win the prize for the most ridiculously generalized statement posted in the past week (maybe longer). BTW, in states and countries that allow same sex marriage GL mariages have higher divorce rates than do straight marriage. So much for your flawed, weak and generalized theory. People have good or bad relationships and it has zero to do with their sexual orientation. You are as bad as those you are criticising, nice to know there are @!$%#s in the GL world too....

LJ Rhodes...Your post #1.1 is exactly what my gay friends have said and what I believe to be true. You think it's OK to have casual sex as long as you tell your partner. That is as deep as it goes between gays, and not a tenet of marriage. You say hetro marriages are screwed up, imagine if we promoted your progressive standards!! Actually, the Democrats do promote that standard, giving America a growing percentage of low income children born out of wedlock and supported by welfare programs, courtesy of the taxpayer.

Gitnerdunn,

Not my fault straights can't have sex without such a huge propensity for producing offspring, wanted or otherwise. *shrug*

Chris...

Your statement that GL marriages have a higher divorce rate is both unfounded and statistically unproven as there a higher percentage of straight marriages...therefore more straight divorces.

sorry...you lose that arguement.

People cheat because they change.

They marry, years pass, they may have kids, debt, life changing experiences.....they grow and change. Time creates a new someone they weren't when they were married. It's not a fault but an evolution. Some people grow apart, bored, feel ignored or taken for granted....it is also about losing ones identity and denying their needs.

It's not a charcter flaw if you fall out of love with someone and are unhappy. We SHOULD be selfish and demand the best for our own happiness...then you wouldn't have some many divorces. If people stopped putting their needs second to someone elses.....we could be happier partners.

Men cheat when they are not attracted to their mate or when they are ignored or when they get more desired attention from some other female. Exactly the same reasons why women cheat. Monogamy is great unless something goes wrong. The act would not be called cheating unless it did not inherently represent a sacrifice. There seems to be a great deal of suffering associated with matrimony for many people.

Monogamy is a human CONCEPT! Human beings are monogamous IF they choose to be--it's as simple as that.

Will-332885 wrote "But wait, here comes the juicy part, the main reason promiscuity exists in the gay world is because gays have nothing to ultimately hold you to a relationship when problems occur."

There is no ultimate consequence to homosexual promiscuity such as children. Also, the cost for homosexual sex is less because homosexual men generally ask a lower price for sex than heterosexual women do.

The social purpose of marriage is not to celebrate adult feelings but to define family by cementing parents to children and to each other.

Ian,

Marriage serves much bigger a purpose than that, considering how many people marry with absolutely no intention (or even ability) of having children. It gives them thousands of legal protections of their relationship, so that they can more securely build a life together. It helps them be less of a burden on society, as a whole, should the time come that they lose their full independence, such as becoming severely disabled, demented, etc. Which is better, to stay single and, should you end up incapacitated somehow, to have to use tax payer dollars to pay for professional care to do such mundane things as bathe, go to the bathroom, etc., or to have a lifelong partner who loves you and will do all these things for free, thereby saving the rest of society the cost of paying a stranger to do them for you?

This is just one of the many examples of why people in relationships fare better than those who aren't in them, and to give them so many legal protections encourages them to stick together even through bad times, because the life they have together is still ultimately more fruitful and fulfilling than the lives they'd have separately, and knowing they can better take care of each other, make decisions for each other, leave property to each other, etc., without all the insanely (even unaffordably, to most) high expense of drawing up a legal contract for each and every aspect of their lives that are given by default with legally recognized marriage, will help ensure they stay together.

This is what gays are wanting for their relationships, too, and to say they don't deserve it just because a bunch of Christians who want a theocracy say they're not worthy is absolutely unconscionable.

What a pretty picture you have painted. How altruistic, loving, wonderful a world gays must have!

So unlike the world we see everyday in the hetero world. Everyday, without even much time spent looking - we are presented with heartrending tales of soldier who, having married Becky Sue, their high school sweetheart - are sent off to war come home injured, maimed or mentally broken. The 1st few months, weeks - She stays with him out of duty, obligation or community pressure, but eventually the thought of being young, vibrant ... living only to service the needs of a cripple outweigh the Death do us part vows. VA hospitals are filled with service members whose wives left - could not stand the prospect, forever.

Mothers, Fathers, grand parents, sickly children are all dumped into care homes - if they are lucky... under the guise of "It's better for them".

You wish the American Public to bet that a notoriously narcissistic, appearance driven, physically idolizing gay community is above what is common in world at large?

I am impressed! Such selfishness must be rewarded. Here, for all these years of exposure to blatant media reporting, Media bias and comments we hear constantly about "Oh, that guy is gorgeous...!". You would think being tied to a less than perfect specimen for a gay might be the last thing they would sacrifice to stay in a committed relationship; married or not.

Somehow, such fidality, perseverance loyalty ... that just doesn't bear the weight of truth. Unless, maybe that is only a facade put on by "Professional Gays" in movies, theater, books - street interviews presented on slow news nights?

Appearnce is just not that important in Gay/lesbian/Transgender life?

Beowulf,

Given your portrayal of heterosexual relationships/marriage, can you now give me even a single reason why their relationships are superior to those of gays and deserve legal recognition and protection where the relationships of gays do not? And before you answer, go back and read the post to which I'm referring very carefully. You're gonna have one hell of a hard time justifying discriminating against gay relationships after that post.

"The social purpose of marriage is not to celebrate adult feelings but to define family by cementing parents to children and to each other."

History shows us the only reason for marriage was nothing more than a business transaction. Through religious teachings to control the masses, we married on the pretense that a woman needed to be cared for and that she in return can offer dowries and future children ( field/crop workers) to her husband. Period. It wasn't love; it was money.

That being said the traditional roles and rules of marriage have changed through out the centuries (luckily in some countries) that allows more freedoms for both parties involved .Unfortunatly, the times have changed as well and have become more demanding on the family unit. If gays want to partake in all the phony wonder that marriage offers...let them. Let them be financially responsible for all aspects of marriage and what it means to be linked to another individual forever......may seem like a fairytale - but it's nothing more than a business transaction.

Committed realtionships that mimic marriage ( heterosexual or homosexual) deserve to have the same legal binding rules . Inthe cynical, perverted world we have today...any 2 that chose to bind themselves togther for life should be aloowed to do so. Allow them all the good and bad that they want!

Well, for every man that cheats with a female, there's a female cheating too...

Stop blaming men for cheating. If women actually took care of their men and themselves, then there wouldn't be any cheating going on in the first place.

When a man marries a female that is slim, looks good and that took pride in herself, and then five years later comes home to a hippo of a wife, well, he has every right to cheat. He didn't marry a hippo, he married a slim woman that cared about him and herself.

Even Obama is capable of cheating...

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rtddX0_a6S4/0.jpg" (-and he was just checking out the sandals.)

Can we give negative votes for dunderhead comments?? How nice that you can blame your cheating on your spouse!

You must not read the news on the weekend. There were 30 pages of comments yesterday when that news hit. He made that comment Saturday.

It's pretty big news though, and the reporting stopped on Sunday. Monday morning is really the big news day, and nothing. Just a little surprised about the lack of attention on the matter, considering msnbc is typically the default home page on many browsers. This issue with the mosque is in the front of most peoples minds right now, not page 3.

Uhhhh, this is not a political issue so let's try to focus on the social subject being presented shall we?

It was the first story on the Today Show and Good Morning America. What, not big enough for you? By the way, the media is a HUGE establishment- TV, newspapers, Radio, Internet... every story is out there in a big way. You just have to look. Or do you want it spoon fed to your lazy ass?

People like to talk about these issues to take their minds off of the horrific things happening in the world. Nothing wrong with that.

I'm an American, born and raised, and I couldn't care less about a mosque at Ground Zero. Seriously, with all the other kinds of churches all over this country, the vast majority of them Christian, I'm actually more appalled by the behavior of all the nay-sayers, since it seems they want the U.S. to be a Christian theocracy, if they can at all help it, and they're acting downright xenophobic about this whole mosque business. It's embarrassing, really. I expected better from my fellow citizens.

What kind of cluelessness is this?? Do you expect every reporter in every media outlet to be covering the President only??? Click on the tab marked politics and you'll get your fill...

If you want to take away Muslim rights to own property and have their religious beliefs then that is an UnAmerican belief. I don't want the Mosque around Ground Zero. Hell I don't want Mosques anywhere. If they had any decency they would not build near that area but the government can't take away their right to do so. I have no love for Islam but do you want to turn this into Nazi Germany? Do you want to round up all the Muslims and start burning them in ovens? I am simply stating that in a free society we cannot outlaw religion and the freedom to own private property. If these Right Wing people start denying rights to Muslims guess what next they may start taking rights away from other people they disagee with.

The whole mosque thing is ridiculous and it does not impact 100% of the American public. Based on that logic no Catholic churches should be allowed within a quarter mile of an elementary school.

lol

A mosque at ground zero would be appropriate if a block of a cathedral, a church, and a temple were also zoned into the plan.

July7's comment actually made me LOL!

A mosque at Ground Zero in a thread about cheating spouses?

Forget that whole 1st amendment Freedom of Religion thingy. If Jews and the Religious Right want to block a mosque anywhere in this country, then maybe we should reexamine that whole Tax-exempt-status-of religion thingy as well. I'd sure like to see how much money Pat Robertson makes for example, and whether his religious empire should pay any of it to the IRS.

Come on, be fair, isn't it possible that the cheaters could meet for their clandestine tryst at the new mosque at ground zero?

Obama stated that he wasn't going to speak on the wisdom of putting a Mosque near Ground Zero, and what he said was correct. He told the truth and the hate-mongers are trying to make out that he said/did something bad/unaccetpable.

My take on the issue is the same as when a land owner sells any property. As long as the buyer is truthful about why he is buying the land, pays the owners price and fufills all regulations, laws, permits, local, city, county and state standards...where is the problem?

If some group thinks its wrong - then offer the property owner more money. At the point of closing the transaction, it becomes a land owners rights issue. Is he allowed, under American Law to sell his land, property, building or not?

If yu can't buy it, can't afford to buy it - how can you tell the Land owner that he is not allowed to sell to someone who will meet his price.

Lots of Conservatives are all about "Property Rights" vs. government intervention, restriction on those rights ... but when free enterprise puts rubber to the road - now its about preventing, without compensation, a property owner from making a valid sell.

If you have no horse in the race - then you don't have any valid right to complain about how the race is run.

Buy the property or move out of the way.

Same holds true for the sons. Resentment knows no gender.

DSW, my dad always told me "you can do bad by yourself, you dont need a worthless man who does not contribute."

I do think men are having a more difficult time with evolving gender roles though.

Men of days gone by took care of the family. They did what ever they needed to do to take care of the family. Today, guys may work and then come home and expect everything to be done for them. Women work now and cannot DO everything without something being given up (i.e SEX). If men realized some of this and helped take care of the family, they would not have to go else where for this.

Txlady..."men are having a more difficult time with evolving gender roles"....maybe the young women of today are better adjusted, but during the '70's and '80's when all the women's lib stuff was in full swing, many of the women I know where confused as to what their role was as well. Trying to figure out when to wear the pants and when to wear the skirt.

profwoman....I worked full time, spent more time with the kids and did more house work than she did, and at one point while going to school at night. I was the one doing everything and still she couldn't find time for me. My ex ended up cheating on me. Not sure how that twists into your perception of the world.

If women acted like women instead of the other half of a man men would not have to go elsewhere in the forest to piss on other bushes. There has to be a dominant one and a submissive one in any relationship for it to work. That has been lost in humans long ago! Too bad. I can imagine that having a woman as the bread winner in a relationship would definitely act the same as a battery attached to my.........

roketboy,

Grow up schmuck!

Men NEED the money their wives bring home. The world of the two paycheck households happens to be the norm. If you have a problem with a wife making more money than you, then by all means, marry a girl who dropped out of high school and only wants to make babies...Don't be surprised or resentful when she divorces your butt and takes away half of everything you've earned, including your retirement and marries someone else.

Remember, you wanted it that way....

hs321,

Your either delusional, or a very rare man...Hopefully, the latter. If so, then I'm sure you're fine and you've moved on with life. I know that my ex walked out on me after 8 years, when I was five months pregnant, and after 10 years sober to begin using drugs. Had I not had an education or work history (and a job) I don't know what I would have done. Women need to work and be able to support themselves and frankly, most women do NOT make the money men do because they are women. I could go on and on about this subject, but the day of 'men' bring home the bacon are over...

Dear Angie
Holy moly youre not married are you. I don't need anything a woman brings home, I was born without one. I really am not up to being ordered by a female as to what female I marry. I will find my own trashy drop-out girl.

That you will...

no one who has style, class or education would want anything to do with you...

Good luck, you're going to need it, please don't breed!

Dang! Hahahahahahahahahahaha...Roketboy you are out of your league here on this subject. Leave it alone before you say something really stupid!! LOL

Not in our house. All money is family money. We are equals and discuss purchases before they are made.

I made twice as much as my husband, and he was proud of me and the education that made it possible. Financial questions were discussed and decisions made by us together. He was very confident in himself and who he was, so he never had any need to cheat on me! He passed away several years ago, and I really miss him!

Betsy couldn't have said it better!

Sorry for your Loss nurse-1006475

Most guys are like your husband, it's just that Most women wouldn't give them the time of the day if they asked for it. We just don't match what they want which is the bad guy look.

We could probably learn a lesson from the Animal Kingdom. There are some that mate for life, many who turn out to be single mothers, Bears are a glaring example of the male leaving as soon as the act is over. What's even more glaring is that in the Animal world--with the exception of the male walrus--there is no rape!! If a female rejects a male when she is in estress, he moves on because she will fight him to the death if he does not: And he knows it. So who are really the animals?

You didn't read your Ranger Rick while growing up. The animal kingdom is full of forced sex AKA rape. You needn't venture deep into the jungles of Africa to observe this. Just go to the pet store and watch the lizards (or ask the attendant to show you the tanks with guppies, mollies, swordtails or platies), the neighborhood duck pond to watch the ducks.

second that! great post. Gender, money and all this modern analysis doesn't change anything.

Yep. A loser is just a loser.

Most men ARE good men (until they cheat of course).

Don't be naive it can happen with ANY relationship given the right circumstances.

(oh no excuses here Jesse James is an idiot and a fool)

Once a Cheater, always a Cheater.

Great post!! So true!!! Money has nothing to do with it. Rich men, rich women, poor women, everybody cheats!!!

I don't think you're allowed to call Jesse James an idiot or a fool until after you've dated Sandra Bullocks for a while.

Given an opportunity, and the assurance he won't be caught, 95 percent of healthy men will cheat. There aren't any good men.

Whether its the husband or the wife creating the cashflow, the partner is usually handling the responsibilities not included in the "official" economy. It's not about keeping score, its a partnership and the whole is all that matters.

Focus on your partner's happiness and -if you're with the right person- he/she will return in kind. If you're an insecure ego-tripping tool like James, you'll screw up eventually. If he was unhappy or Sandra was giving him a tough time, it's still no reason to toss your dignity and honor overboard.

Let me be clear. I personally consider myself a good man but in any relationship either party can succomb to temptation. It's naive to think just because you a good man or a good woman you won't give in to it. I also think there's more than this to judge a person by.

I just think Jesse's a fool because of what he lost.

. . . . in any relationship either party can succomb to temptation. It's naive to think just because you a good man or a good woman you won't give in to it.

Not true - it's weakness of character that leads to caving in to temptation. Furthermore, if you truly love, respect, and care for your mate, the thought of cheating never enters your mind.

You're right not everyone will succumb but anyone's character can be weak at times.

I agree, the male sex drive is a weakness and any married man that cheats is weak and without integrity.

It is not always men that cheat. My wife of 11 years, cheated on me for 5 years. I only thought it was 5 months until the truth came out. Women are closet cheaters. Most cheating statistics state that 80 percent of all men cheat, yet less than 50 per cent of women cheat. Who are the 80% of men cheating WITH if only less than 50 percent of women cheat? For the record, I am not in the 80% category.

Humans are above dogs?

Then why is it that I trust practically any dog over the vast majority of humans?

Humans not only cheat on their partners, they'll stab their friends in the back for as little as $10 and are perfectly willing to kill each other over stupid, medieval superstitions.

Now go give your loyal pooch a heartfelt apology, Bobby. While you're at it, that Porterhouse you were planning to barbecue this evening is far more deserved by Fido than the likes of you.

I agree with Tired 100%! I'm so sick of men constantly being painted as Mr.ManPig and women are always such the innocent little angels... sooooooo not friggin true! This story is total hogwash, the only reason you never hear about women who lie, cheat, steal, get pregnant to trap a man, marry for money, stalk and abuse their spouse etc is because that would alienate 99.9 percent of the daytime talk show target audience!

Humans are above dogs?

Then why is it that I trust practically any dog over the vast majority of humans?

Humans not only cheat on their partners, they'll stab their friends in the back for as little as $10 and are perfectly willing to kill each other over stupid, medieval superstitions.

Now go give your loyal pooch a heartfelt apology, Bobby. While you're at it, that Porterhouse you were planning to barbecue this evening is far more deserved by Fido than the likes of you.

Agreed, dogs don't treat you like crap but people do.

Yes, everyone knows that women cheat too. But we all know that men cheat more than women. All men know this but some are too defensive to admit it. I have four female friends (one is my sister). Three divorced because their man cheated. One divorced because, yup, she made more thatn he did.

Humans not only cheat on their partners, they'll stab their friends in the back for as little as $10 and are perfectly willing to kill each other over stupid, medieval superstitions.

True... yet Humans have the ability to use wisdom ...

the ones you mention do not make wise choices and therefore appear to be like animals....

People who exercise wisdom and good judgement have integrity and can eat a big fat steak completely guilt free.

I guess by your comments you feel that your dog has more integrity than you...Panama Pete

Sad very sad...

Cheating doesn't "happen". Guys that cheat often allow themselves to be presented with opportunity by engaging in stuff they shouldn't be. F-up nr 1. Then when opportunity -surprise surprise- does present itself, they again decide to act on it. F-up nr 2 already and we haven't even done anything yet. Like accidents, most infidelity can be avoided.

Anyhow, to all you bitter ladies that generalize. I'm sorry it happened to you, but there are plenty of guys who are comfortable with who they are and don't need to cheat to mend their fragile or fractured egos.

On another note, a good friend was cheated on by his wife and left with their 3 kids because she felt he wasn't earning enough. These studies are a waste of time.

Welcome to a man's world. This is what happen to men in a divorce. The woman goes into a mid-life crisis, cheats on her husband, file for a divorce and then takes all his money.

And apparently so do men; the only difference is more people applaud when the man does it.

Well, it's a woman's world now.

:)

Natalie, while I understand your anger and disappointment with your ex, let's not blame the women who probably didn't even know your husband was married and for the record please refrain from judging a person as a "looser" because they don't have education or employment at period in their life. You don't know what that persons situation is do you? Everyone has their reasons for a circumstance they may find themselves in. You are no better that anyone else because you have a high paying job and education. You bias doe not seem to fit a person of your intelligence so please try not to judge.

My2cents:

You're the one judging. I'm sure Natalie has a better understanding of the situation surrounding her husbands affair than you do, and you have no right to tell her that she's the one being judgmental. And judging by your spelling and grammar, it is easy to see why you are so defensive of those who do not have a job or education. Truth of the matter is, (like it or not) without a job, without education, the chances of you going very far in life are slim, and any man is stupid to cheat on a good thing for a woman who obviously can't support herself.

Men who are viewed, or view themselves, as not upholding the male ideal may come to feel inadequate.

Once that happens, it’s either a really big or really fast car, or a nude model with tons of tattoos.

Indeed. The male society is a very competitive one and men who are low in self esteem and confidence in themselves will always seek something else to boost that ego and affirm themselves as 'real' men!

The article's title should simply read, "People more likely to cheat on douche-bags, regardless of gender." I know of plenty of women and men who are absolute wastes of carbon and water out there and some idiot married them. The biggest joke is that someone chose to remarry them.

wow, that's messed up Natalie. i'm sorry to hear that. Screw your ex and screw the system!

I am sorry about what happened to you. I had a similar experience. My wife of 11 years cheated on me for 5 years, and yet when we divorced she got 1/2 of all marital assets because our intent was to share custody of our daughter. 7 years down the road, my x-wife has done little to take care of our daughter. My 14 year old daughter lives with me, and has full time for 4 of the last 7 years. Even in the first 3 years she spent much more time at my home that at my x-wife's. So, my x-wife killed financial security I worked very vigilantly for 20+ years to create and does little to take care of our daughter. Yeah, I guess I am still bitter that my x-wife got 1/2 my 401K. Plus she had the nerve to tell her family I didn't pay her everything she was entitled to. Yeah, I guess I didn't give her all of my assets, I paid off all the debt and then what was left she got 1/2. For the record, I turned 50 today and will never consider getting involved in another relationship, it is just too costly, both financially and emotionally. My daughter is doing well, she is a member of National Honor society, plays in band and runs track.

That's too bad that happened.

But bear in mind that's been happening to men for years.

Now if it happens to a woman it's a big deal all of a sudden.

Makes you think about double standards.

Now imagine if you had to pay him child support and alimony after he did that.

OJ starting to make sense right about now?

I hesitate to bring up the obvious - but for any woman to not know that Tiger woods was married / with children beggars belief... yet several of the bimbos had th audacity to "demand and apology" from tiger and wanted a Media Moment with his (now former) wife to - explain they didn't know he was married... she was seen in photos, with the children almost as often as he on magazine covers. The only way you couldn't have known he was married was to be locked in a convent (not a likely scenerio for the bevy of beauties he collectled).

Pure BS.

The point is women are much more predatory when it comes to "poaching" a success husband under the nose of the wife - regardless of the consequences, mainly because for women, there are no consequences! If they don't get caught, sooner or later she will convince the idiot to divorce his wife or she will settle into comfortable life as a virtual concubine without any any real demands - since she maintains the subtle threat of exposure if he ever gets out of hand.

Women continue to deflect any responsiblity from themselves to the wandering husband - and the worse thing is - other women, even the wives - fall for it. The even had the nerve to attack Hillary when she forgave (apparently) Bill and welcomed him back into the marital bed, after his fully recorded dalliance with at least one, over enamored aide. the point wasn't so much that Bill had (has) an eye for the Ladies(?), balanced against the fact the he loves his wife. Never was there even a hint the he pursued any of these extra-marital events.

No matter how much you want to stay on a diet... there is the inevitable moment were you can be tested beyond your limits. High profile men have aura of forbidden fruit which challenges insecure women. It causes them to want to collect husbands like notches on a gun slinger's Colts.

Ladies, talk to your Sisters, if you really want to get respect for marriage. Husbands don't so much cheat as they are hunted, trapped and bagged!

Sometimes I think it would be great to have a man do that for me! although I'd want something other than big fancy cable tv : )

I couldn't imagine anything cooler than big fancy cable tv. Maybe one of those amazon kindles that does picture books, including pop ups!

I think she will look elsewhere if all that pops up is yer Kinder pal!

I don't quite understand. I was honestly just thinking that Amazon could make another Kindle that you wear neat 3d glasses and have your mind blown as you turn the page and see beautiful pop ups.

and vice versa....

Oooo...someone's got issues???

HA!!! MSNBC is no different than any other media outlet today. They don't let the facts get in the way of a good headline.

I would have to agree. Almost every single person here seems to have some sort of axe to grind. Ultimately what is at hand here is QUALITY TIME and not QUANTITY OF CASH. If you make it a lot of money it stands to reason that your occupation is far more involved and, in turn, more time consuming. Example: If you are Mechanic A (making $25 an hour) pulling in $4,000 you have more time to spend with your family than Mechanic B who works the same job, makes the same hourly wage, yet puts in an extra 20 hours per week making his monthly gross $6,960. So, when the wife of Mechanic B cheats with Mechanic A and when Mechanic B cheats with the young lady in the office of his shop it makes a lot of sense. They spend more time with one another so therefore. People are not realistic so they have ridiculous expectations of each other which are based on things completely outside of ourselves and stem from outdated altruisms in one form or another. If you think any of the people in that scenario are losers that is fine. But they are clearly not miserable and bitter like so many of these people commenting.

So why did he marry her in the first place? How stupid does that make him?

Unlike the unequality of the past that leaves so many divorced women struggling to care for the kids by herself? I'll take this any day...

These kinds of threads and comments are one of the reasons why I'm very happy to be a single lady. Geez.

Well, don't get married. It's an obsolete institution anyway. When marriage was invented, most people were lucky to reach the age of 25. By the time the bloom wore off the rose, one or both of the couple were usually dead.

Let's make marriage a 5-year, renewable contract. If and when you choose not to renew, you get back what you brought into it. Anything made after is split down the middle 50/50, no questions asked, no litigation. If there are kids, support is also split 50/50.

But why get entangled in the whole sorry morass to begin with?

Elizabeth: Find the right guy and this won't be a problem. Men who are secure don't need their wives to feel inferior for the relationship to work.

AP-1414066 wrote "Men who are secure don't need their wives to feel inferior for the relationship to work."

Lifted that phrase from a women's self-help book? Women need to be impressed by a man for any interest to exist, and that basic implies a difference in social standing.

LOL

It's funny because it's true!

Milk-person, PC...

They're, there and their are not actually interchangeable....

And all of these gross generalizations in comments are based on 7% (and 3%, respectively) of participants cheating at all.

Stating the article another way "93% of men unlikely to cheat on their spouse regardless of the spouse's income."

I hope you and that lucky woman find each other.

I have been dumped because my boyfriend discovered I make more than he does. I don't have a problem with a difference in income but some men really have a problem with a woman who makes more than they do especially here in the midwest where people are more traditional and more conservative.

Mel, Sounds as if you're better off without the insecure jerk. Find someone who's not threatened by your success.

Good point rob. I think what value a person brings to a relationship is important. While I would adore having a lady who earns a lot of money I would still feel compelled to contribute even if it were a small amount. The rest could be made up taking care of things at home as you stated. I would be more than okay with that as well.

It would never work, she would eventually screw you over and dump you for a "Working Man with Money and power".

Your right Kel. I don't really think I will ever marry rich. I think you are right about women wanting a prestigous man to take to the opera and all those fund raisers in the Hamptons. Don't think I will ever hit the lottery either but I still buy a ticket now and again.

I am sure the issue is not about who makes the money as much as it is about the "breadwinner" lording it over everyone. "I make the money so I make the rules." Arbitrary statements like that, and the acts that follow, tend to build resentment in the other person in the relationship, be they male or female.

I wonder?

In the real world...

Men are raised by women, taught by women, taught its wrong to phsyically compete against women. Then finally they start their own family - find that in this place too, women rule, bless their hearts - some of us guys need looking after. For weaker men, it can be just a little too much to see the rest of their life as an endless task of obeying the women in their lives, again! They strive for, long for - an uncomplicated, respite from their "duties".

"... can't we all just get along?" ... Rodney King May 1, 1992

People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?...It's just not right. It's not right. It's not, it's not going to change anything. We'll, we'll get our justice....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we're all stuck here for a while. Let's try to work it out. Let's try to beat it. Let's try to beat it. Let's try to work it out

I once read that the Brazilians have a saying, "Marriage is a lotto."

Christine-285899 wrote "Men who are secure don't need their wives to feel inferior for the relationship to work."

He made a sound relationship decision. The domecile is already female-dominated. A man has no social leverage when a woman overestimates the work she contributes to a household as well as expects a man to exceed her in pay. How many times have I heard women bragging at public events that they "bring home the bacon"? I never hear men say that even though I have many more conversations with men. Mr. Midwest has averted relationship disaster.

haha... good point.

Oh, thats simple to answer. Its just a few women out there with very high partner numbers :)

I'm willing to bet that many single women who answer those surveys have had a number of partners that "don't count" for one ridiculous reason or another.

I had this Jesus freak girlfriend who thought that sex from behind if she was laying on her stomach didn't count but she wouldn't let me do missionary because we weren't married.

I didn't bother arguing - we did it in every other position.

When we broke up she maintained that she was still a virgin even though she had as much experience as your average porn star.

MrToby, I hope you're joking otherwise I will be a little concerned about your understanding of mathematics and specifically the math relating to averages.

Mike in SA wrote "single women have less opposite-sex sex partners before marriage than single men do."

Women lie and minimize the number of their sex partners. The average person considers himself an excellent driver.

Bingo.. "Quality Time"

(Ok.. I will get back to work.. promise :-) )

I had sex with your wife last night! Darn good!

David...What does UPS pay now-a days?..

What would it matter? She wants David's free time and not his paycheck. Denver already said that he makes more than enough...

David- STFU !!!! You could only wish to be the men Denver and Mike Purdin (above) are. Having a sence of humor is fine, knowing when to use it makes it humorous. Cheating is a big No-No whomever you are. I have always told my boyfriend he is free to walk when ever he choses and I as well so if either one of us feels the need to cheat we shouldn't be with each other to begin with. We are still together and I have not once felt the temptation to cheat even though there have been people that have made both of our heads turn, I don't feel the need to cheat. If you are satisfied with whom you have in all areas of your relationship then cheating is not even an option or thought.

As to Denver and Mike... Big applause!!!!!

Don't overlook that David meets his wife's material desires, though there is really no way for him to know if his wife does not take a lover in his absence.

That is why my x-wife cheated on me. I was working really hard to give her those nice vacations every year, her BMW, maid, nice home, swimming pool, jewelry. I worked about 60 hours per week and then my wife didn't want to have sex with me. In a 5 year period we had sex 27 times, I see no advantage for a successful person being married. Certainly I can get laid at least 27 times in 5 years without being married.

B-I-N-G-O!!!!!! You are at the office most of the time and your co-worker works as many hours as you do. When you both get off you have a few drinks together regularly. You know each others lives in and out. Next theng you know she is bent over at a 90 degree angle and BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! A NO BRAINER!

Completely disagree. Have you ever worked at a restaurant?! Now there is a sexual hotbed and breeding ground for affairs if ever there was one. Again, you are working with these people 10-16 hours a day 5-7 days a week. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!

Sounds like prison with better food...