The African country is sending record numbers of children to the U.S.
Article Source: msnbc.com
from:msnbc.comAdoptions from Ethiopia rise, bucking global trend
Seeded on Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:06 PM EDT (msnbc.com)
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Ethiopians are a hansom people, men and women. If I was so inclined (i.e. married) I would totally want one or two. Too many Americans are too focused on getting a "pale" baby from China or Russia.
I am not ignorant of the fact that ALL CHILDREN deserve a loving family, but don't we have plenty of children here in the US in need of parents as well...especially within the Black Community? Save the nasty remarks for someone else btw...
There are two reasons that we didn't adopt domestically, one is that a child living in America who is 'in the system' will not go to bed hungry. They may feel alone, but their tummies will be full. People in third world countries aren't guaranteed the same, there is no social system to take care of them or even help them out.
The second reason we adopted internationally is that Love knows no borders, as in God knows no borders. Why should we 'stick to only Americans?' when considering adopting? We're all people who are in need of love and a feeling of belonging. Some people I know and love aren't comfortable adopting internationally, or interracially, and we received a lot of criticism when we made our announcement to adopt interracially.
There are other benefits of fostering to adopt that encourage people to search their hearts to consider loving others. If you don't feel inclined to adopt, domestically or internationally, maybe you can be a big brother or mentor to a child who needs some more stability..... not meant to be preachy, just know that everyone can do something and it's very rewarding. Our lives are so much richer since adopting. (btw we also have bio kids, who just happen to be a little older).
:-)
Maria
Sadly, few parents seem to be willing to adopt black and mixed-race children from this country. The preference has long been Russian or Asian babies. One demographic that has shown a willingness to take in these unwanted kids has been gay couples. Personally, I know a woman who took her loser sister's beautiful mixed-race daughters in as her own and is raising them quite well with her wife.
Glenn...its a very simple reason why so many here adopt children from other countries rather than the U.S. Its not "cool" to adopt Americans & they love to think of themselves as saving the world rather than helping their fellow Americans.
To make such a bold assertion, I can only assume that you've conducted some kind of study where you personally interviewed hundreds of internationally adoptive families. You must have inquired after their motives and goals, correct? Surely you wouldn't say such a thing unless you had the proof to back it up, right?
Assuming for a moment that you conducted no such study, even that you've never become intimately acquainted with so much as a single internationally adoptive family, I can only assume that you pulled your statement out of some perception, which as you well know, rarely has basis in fact. Maybe you saw a movie star adopt an African child and then proceeded to form an opinion about everyone else that would do the same. Maybe you have issues with people who do charity work, believing their motives couldn't possibly be anything but self-serving. That would be a convenient stepping stone to declaring that couples adopt internationally to satisfy their un-American egos.
But just for a moment, let's pretend that some Ethiopian children have it really hard. Harder, dare I say, than American children. Would it be "cool" to give one of them a home, or would it just be right? Would there be some couple out there who decided that the child deserved better, not taking into account how good it would make the couple look in front of their friends? If you can't say yes, then you have a very dim view of humanity's motives to do good, and maybe it's you that needs to perform a self-examination.
"Cool" has nothing to do with it. That is a narrow minded take on adoption.
We are all citizens of the world or at least we should be. I have a child adopted from another country. My husband and I decided against domestic adoption for many reasons.
Unless you have a child adopted from this country or another country, I suggest you resist the temptation to judge another family and how it came about.
It is my personal belief that before we go about making abortion illegal (as many hope to do - I'm personally pro-choice) our country first must revise our foster care system and adoption laws in which do not put the child first. Truth: children are children...no matter their nationality or race. Deal with it and open your mind.
As an adoptive parent to three children and an adoption social worker, I can tell you that the vast majority of adoptive parents adopt because they want to be parents, they want a chiild to love, and they want to create a family. The fact that adoption has become more acceptable in the US and is no longer shrouded in secrecy has made it easier for many adoptive parents to provide a home for a child, but I don't think any of them made the decision to adopt because it's a cool or fashionable thing to do. No matter what type of adoption in involved - international, private domestic, or through the public welfare system - the process is usually long and involved. Anyone who was adopting because it is the cool thing to do would be weeded out or give up before the process was completed. Adoption takes commitment on multiple levels.
Adoptive parents have many different reasons for choosing a particular type of of adoption. Perhaps it is very important to a couple to be present at the child's birth. They'd probably chose a private domestic adoption. However, birthmothers usually choose couples under the age of 35, so a couple older than this who wanted an infant might turn to international adoption. If a couple wants to adopt an older, waiting child, they might turn to foster care adoption. A single person would most likely choose to adopt from foster care or internationally as birth mothers tend to choose married couples. Some adoptive parents want to know that the adoption is finalized right away rather than waiting weeks or months for the adoption decree to be issued. In that case, they'd most likely choose international adoption. I recall one man who was terrified to fly, so he and his wife adopted through the foster care system. Others feel ill equipped to parent a child who has suffered sexual abuse, so they choose private domestic adoptions or international adoptions as a large percentage of the children available for adoption through the foster care system have been molested....And there are many other considerations. Some people choose international adoption because of their heritage or because they've lived or traveled extensively in a particular country. Whatever path brings a person or couple to adoption, they usually find a number of challenges and tremendous rewards along the way.
As for whether or not African Americans adopt....Of course they do! I know of numerous adoptive black families. The organization One Church, One Child has long promoted adoption within the African American community. You can't make a sweeping statement about adoption based upon two fictional tv shows!
Ridiculous comment from someone who has never experienced or work in an adoption-related field. a) Only 4% of all kids in the US foster care system are legally available for adoption, and b) are you suggesting that children in the US are somehow more worthy of a family than children from other countries?
Kids are kids, no matter where they are born. And kids need loving families. No one is "saving" anyone.
1: We tried foster care to adopt- 2 kids were taken away from us after 2 years.. After the adoption was legally finished.. Beacause there was a problem with the paperwork.. they were sent back to there mother. One was severely beaten. The other child was burnt.
2: We internationally adopted 3 years ago because we were not going to have our children taken from us again. International adoption is more secure in the sense that parents cant just decide to take there kids back because they "were drunk when they signed the paperwork"..
3: Kids in the foster care system are fed. Have access to a doctor. Aren't pledged to marry a 50 year old man when they are 5, like our daughter was.
We didn't save her. Her birth mother did when she got her out of the situation and made the hardest decision of her life to let her daughter go because she could protect her anymore.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Time for the faith base groups to be reigned in. They are the engine behind the massive immigration levels since 1970 when the USA had 185 million people and population growth to sustain it. Now that we added almost 150 million people in less than 40 years they cannot stop their egos an narcisism. Oh, they are doing this because God is speaking to them saying, save the children and bring them to God's kingdom in the USA. How quaint? And the out of control State Department government paid employees are doing their jobs.
I've got an excellent idea, let's send the "bleeding hearts" that are adopting these "future problems" to Ethiopia! What about the millions and millions of "real"American children that need to be adopted? I would like to see a program instituted that takes children away from "long term" welfare recipients and put at the top of the adoption list, we've now had several generations of adults that have made a profession of having illegitimate children or just simply refusing to provide for their own children! These children would be better served if they were adopted into different lifestyles instead of continuing the ways of their parents which no longer has any stigma attached to it!
I'm not surprised to see such an ignorant comment about "real American children" coming from someone with "Texas" in their posting handle. Honestly...all you care about is your taxes.
"Future Problems"? Are you making the sweeping generalization that all adopted children will be a "future problem" or are you referring just to the thousands of adopted Ethiopian children? And could you tell us just how many of these American children you've adopted?
Another ridiculous comment from someone who has never experienced or work in an adoption-related field. I'm not a "bleeding heart", but I do have two children from Ethiopia, and I can assure you they are the most intelligent, happy and athletic kids I've ever met. Everyone who meets them is in love with them, including members of my family who were against the adoptions in the beginning. You, sir or madam, will likely see my children as doctors, Olympic athletes or entrepreneurs going back to help make the country of their birth a better place.
I'm so glad you are interested in changing the parental rights laws here in the US so that children are placed in stable, loving homes. Could you please expound on specifically how many kids you have adopted, or what specifically you are working on to help change those laws?
Future Problems.
Yes. Babe Ruth. HUGE problem.
Greg Louganis.. Olympic Athlete.
Bo Diddley. . what a disgrace??? right???
Dave Thomas. . What an awful person.
Deborah Harry, lead singer of Blondie.
Bill Clinton...
Melissa Gilbert. . . Little House on The Prairie. What a rebel.
John Lennon..
Jesse Jackson..
Steve Jobs, What an Idiot. Such a problem.
Faith Hill. HUGE PROBLEM. Awful role model.
Funny thing is.. Lindsey Lohans not on that list... Miley Cyrus.. nope not adopted. The "Future problems" are the kids that idiotic parents raise. Not the ones that aren't biologically related.
Have you ever met anyone adopted?
I agree with Airbear--adopting a child from abroad, preferably one that doesn't look like you, is quite fashionable in some circles. Charity begins at home and let's start with American children that are in dire need of a place where they are loved and wanted.
Perhaps you need to research "dire need" of children in the USA vs. Ethiopia.
Susi-Oh. You should adopt a child domestically immediately or offer to mentor children in foster care since they are in need. Words are cheap and easy. Time and commitment and loving these children is quite another story. It doesn't help to judge anyone who is helping any child..no matter "where" they come from.
You should adopt then! I can get you a list of all the agency's.
Talk is Cheap.
A Muslim woman (black) wanted to become a foster parent to a young black girl, with an eye toward adoption. She was refused because she told the case worker she would not serve ham in her house.
Stupidity knows no barriers relative to race or ethnicity.
Our family serves BOTH the foster care here in the US AND we have also adopted a child from Ethiopia. BOTH have needs---and it really shouldn't matter WHERE they are from...here or there. I would be willing to bet that the people who complain about how WE are helping others--haven't adopted either there OR here. When you have pure motives and a servant heart--then you don't point fingers at how others are helping---rather you encourage each other to not give up. Giving a child a home NO matter where the child is from is a very hard thing to do--and for those who join me...I count it a privilege to run the same race with. Let's not get discouraged from those who are judgemental or have opinions on how we help others. Instead, let us hope they will join us by serving other here AND all over the world. A child in need is a child in need NO matter where he is. And I am so thankful that I get to spend my life opening my heart and home and family to children who need hope, healing and love.
I applaud people who adopt domestically and internationally. All children need loving homes. To criticize those who adopt internationally shows that you prioritize nationalism over humanity.
The problem with adoption of American children is that you may have to deal with scumbag birth parents entering your life at anytime, interfering with what should be your child, and the,n with the courts help, possibly being able to take that child from you.
Imagine adopting a baby, and 8 years later, some cocaine-addicted ex-con of a biological father appearing at your door claiming your precious child.....and then after a few years of fear and uncertainty (to say nothing of loads of money down the drain for lawyers), you lose that child......it has happened.
Actually, this doesn't really happen anymore. There were a few cases a couple decades ago, but virtually all states have solidified their laws so that once the adoption is finalized in a court of law, biological parents have no legal rights.
I should add, though, that most adoptions done in the US are open adoptions, meaning the biological parent can choose the adoptive parents and may negotiate with the adoptive parents in regard to visiting the child, writing letters, receiving pictures. This opening has meant that more women have chosen to place their children for adoption in the US, but some adoptive parents may be ambivalent having contact with the biological parent. This is another reason some parents choose to adopt abroad.
homesick, what you're describing is the stuff of Hollywood, not real life. (I'm open to the possibility that what you describe has happened, but I'm guessing that either you don't have a specific example in mind or the situation was not pertaining to an adoption--perhaps a family custody battle or something? I'm not being antagonistic here--just curious.)
In reality, once any adoption is finalized (open or closed), the adoptive parents have 100% legal authority over the child and his/her care and well-being. The child's birth certificate is even changed so that the adoptive parents' names are listed instead of the birth parents'. No birth family member--mother, father, or anyone else--has any legal recourse regarding visitation with or custody over an adopted child. The cocaine-addicted ex-con of your example has exactly 0% claim over the adopted child. (Agencies--or lawyers, depending on whether it's an agency adoption or private adoption--make sure all those loose legal ends are tied up before finalization.) And if he does show up at the adoptive family's front door without permission, he's asking to be led away in handcuffs.
There is a widespread and unfortunate misconception that "open adoptions" are ones in which the birth families have some say over the child's life. This is simply untrue. The term "open" can be misleading; all it means is that the identity of the birth family is known, which allows the adoptive family to maintain as much or as little contact as they feel is appropriate.
Every adoption situation is different, but an appropriate level of openness (determined by the adoptive parents and agreed upon by the birth family) can be tremendously beneficial to the adopted child, adoptive parents, and birth family alike.
Also, my two cents on the domestic versus international adoption debate: It's important not to judge people for how they decide to create their families. Some people have a heart for international adoptions, some for domestic adoptions, some for fostering or foster-to-adopt. Millions of children all over the world need homes, both at home and abroad, and a happy child in a loving home, no matter where he or she is from, is a beautiful thing in my book.
However, it's also important that people make educated decisions about adopting (or not adopting) based on good information, and it seems that most people just aren't particularly well-informed.
homesick, I'm not saying that you're a fool--I think you're the norm. Personally, looking back, I'm horrified by the misconceptions that I had about adoption before my wife and I eventually went through the process--and I considered myself well-informed at the time.
I am amazed at the appalling insensitivity of these statements. I'd like to see any one of you say such things to an adoptive parent's or an adoptive child's face.
Mamaextream has it right. Those who make the claim that suffering children in the US should be adopted first don't understand the huge differences in standard of living between our country and developing nations like Ethiopia. Though it is sad to see children in the US to live in foster homes rather than with a forever family, that is far more than the orphans in Ethiopia even have. Orphans in the US, believe it or not, are fed, clothed, sheltered, even educated. Though many US orphans suffer the emotional neglect of not having a permanent home, their physical needs are met. An Ethiopian orphan are much less likely to have any of these needs met.
And, for the record, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is adopting children abroad or in the US because it is fashionable or popular. The paperwork for adoption is so intensive that it makes a mortgage application feel like a pleasurable afternoon pastime by comparison. Anybody doing it just for fashion would be unable to stomach the adoptive process for very long.
Furthermore, you should all actually read the article. International adoptions have gone down by more than half since 2006. It has become less popular, not more so.
I am so disappointed that there are this many people who do not have a heart for children, no matter where they live or what color their skin is. I am an adoptee and I thank God for my parents who adopted me from Korea. If they had not adopted me I could have ended up aging out of the orphanage in Seoul and becoming homeless or a prostitute. The possibility of me still being alive is quite slim.
To the people who think that American children being adopted over international children, you simply don't know the numbers. For instance, the US foster care system holds about 500,000 children of which 320,000 of them are adopted every year. In Ethiopia for example, there are 4.7 million children who are institutionalized in orphanages or on the streets or living at the dump and there will be about 2500 of them adopted. Yes there are many children who need loving families in the United States, I would love to see each and everyone of them find one family that will love them for the rest of their lives. In other countries though it is a matter of life and death. 1 in 10 children in Ethiopia will die before their first birthday, 1 in 6 before won't make it to the age of 5.
If you think people are adopting because celebrities do it and it's the "cool" thing. You have obviously never adopted. The months and sometimes years of preparation, emotional agony, money and stress of adding another member to your family certainly do not bring images of being "cool" to mind. As far as "rescuing" a child for one's own self gratification is an ignorant view of people just wanting to help others. I can only assume that those who think the "Christians" are out there trying to raise themselves on pedestals by adopting would be the same people who think "Christians" helping an elderly person cross the street is futile. I know it is surprising to many Americans, but there really are people out there that just want to help others and do the right thing. It's not all about you.
Hi...I am the David quoted in this article. I have a few things to say:
1. If you're so concerned with the status of children needing a forever home in America, I urge you to contact CPS within the hour to start your papework to adopt. It's very easy for people to stand on the sidelines and judge what others do...claiming they know what SHOULD be done when all they've done is read one article on MSNBC and decided they're experts. So...by all means, start the paperwork today and adopt. Every adoptive parent (domestic or international) would cheer you on!
2. I did this to be fashionable? Oh my...that's funny and obviously commented by someone who has never adopted. If I wanted to be fashionable like the stars I could purchase a pair of Prada sunglasses for $300, save myself about $30,000 and I would never have to buy the sunglasses braces, cars, food, clothes or college...
Yeah...if I were all about being in fashion...that's what I would do.
Thanks, David.
Oh...and just so you know...none of your comments have bothered me at all...it's nothing we haven't heard before. When you know you're doing the right thing nay-sayers don't bother you.
Yeah, that's what i say. It is sooooo cool to drive mini-vans and have snotty kids and no money. Good response David.
Why adopt from a foreign country? Because in the U.S. your child can be taken away by a biological parent years after the adoption has gone through.
That is patently false. See the posts above.
You are incorrect. If one of the parent wants the child back, many judges have reasoned that the child belongs to the birth parent.
I am an adoptive mother of 2 wonderful kids. All that really matters is that innocent children receive the loving family they deserve. It has nothing to do with being "cool" or fashionable. Adoption is certainly not for the "weak at heart". It is very stressful, not to mention expensive. Every aspect of your life is under scrunity (as it should be) and you are asked the most personal questions imaginable. No, adoption is not cool at all but definitely worth it.
Why are you calling out Christians as putting themselves on a pedestal? Other than Jewish, what other religions do you see donating time and money to children charities and orphaneges...way to turn a good nice story into a chance to take a shot at a religion. People who foster kids here, adopt kids here or there...my applause to you. Also it's a shame a few bad apples shut down so many overseas adoptions...so many children, actually all of them deserve to be cherished.
Adoption abroad is on the increase in a large part because we have laws in the US that are unfavorable for the adoptive parents. Why would anyone put themselves through the heartbreak of the possibility of returning the child? Until we change our laws here, childless couples will go elsewhere. Many adoptive parents would welcome the opportunity to adopt at home, it is cheaper, less paperwork, and less angst. No one wants the fear of having to return the child.
I am an adoptive mother. I adopted a child from the US, he was the 10th of 11 children that I know of. ALL of his living siblings were in foster care at the time he was born. He has several disabilities as well. I have people say that "you are a saint" for adopting a child with special needs, that is bull. I am what most adoptive parents are - a loving parent adopting a child that needs love.
I made a choice to adopt in the US. I know, there are lots of kids in third world countries that need homes, etc, etc. BUT we should take care of our own first! People should first look at adopting a child in the US that needs a family--not foster care, or a group home but an actually loving, forever family! There are so many kids here that need homes. Those who are afraid of a parent changing their mind can adopt a child in foster care that is already free for adoption or expected to be free in a short time. I just think we should take care of those in OUR country first.
We adopted a foster care child that was the best friend of our biological son 20 years ago. As we were only able to have one child naturally, we had room for another. He was accepted without question by my extended family. To give a child a home is one of the most fullfilling things I've done. After being in Africa earlier this year and seeing the poverty, I think the kids there need all the help they can get. Anyone that is critical of adoptions from outside the US has obviously never been in a third world country. If you are critical of the article, then get out from behind your safe keyboard and bring a needy kid in to your life or keep your opinion to yourself as your obvious ignorance is shown in your critical post.
Tonya, your attitude smacks of the whole "Americans for America first" attitude that makes me physically ill. While I accept that you may consider other Americans your "own", please understand that there are many of us out there who consider humankind our "own". International borders can be changed in the blink of an eye. Since we are not of one common ethnic ancestry in the U.S., how would you then categorize who became your "own"?
And by the way, I respect and thank you for adopting.
Tonya...I did adopt "my own"...she just happend to live in Ethiopia.
Can they all move in with you?
I live in a community where a faith based group imports these third world scavengers. They consume our resources and deliver little, their demands on arrival are filled through entitlements. Then the chain immigration begans and they flood the system. Africa is a dump for a reason, but I will not go there. You hate me enough already!!
Wow. The Teabagger ignorance can be found even in wonderful threads about adopting children.
How fast would you people like to destroy America? You're voices and ideas certainly seem you'd like to end in about five minutes everything our Founders hoped.