My guess is that the parents were once the 'buliies' themselves...

Well said.

I would hope when the mother in the article finds out who is cyber bullying her son that she sues for identity theft and deformation of character. And, would also hope the judge would set a stiff penalty, this would set the trend for nailing the cretins out there as well as the cretin's parents. If cyber bully's parents don't care what their little monster is doing, they will when it hits them in the wallet.

If FB can't monitor and police it's web site it may well be time to have a federal investigation into possible violations in cyber communication.

Cell phones and Twitter texting have become a rude interruption and annoyance. It'sis way out of hand to the point of an OCD disorder and a danger to all drivers. Life has enough interruptions.

While the technology is new, bullying is still bullying! Parents need to parent their kids! They need to know what they are doing, who they are friends with, etc. If you allow your child to have a cell phone and a computer then it is your job to moniter their use. Too many parents give their kids these items and provide no guidance or rules! (My kids didn't always like the rules their father and I made, but they did know we were thinking of their best interest.)

It's disappointing that there is no direct way to deal with these issues except simply ignoring and blocking the cyber bullies, which does not always make the problems go away. We know only of things not to do, like saying "Ya dun goof'd" and threatening retaliation with the "cyber police". (+1 if you get the reference). The most important thing to do though in my personal opinion is to say nothing when the attacks first start. Retaliation with another comment similar to the trolling attacker just makes the attacker stronger. If the problem persists...that is the problem. There is no protocol to deal with that yet. We need one not later, but now.

I agree Pith,you don't personally respond to one of these cyber jerks. If it doesn't stop you then proceed with a course of action unbeknown to them. Knowledge is power don't give them any.

If I did use use FB and my child was being bullied I'd close the FB account. Change the e-mail screen name, and possibly change my provider.

Personally I want nothing to do with FB, Twitter, or ever do any transactions on line.

Maybe what FB could do is post who you are on line if you violate a code of honor. Put that clause in bold print in the FB contract before a person can join. Harassment is against the law. FB must have that information in their files. I'm not a member of FB so I don't know how that works.

I know there are police and others that monitor sites to find pedofiles as well as pose as an innocent youth to get these bottom dwellers. Why not monitor for cyber bully scum?

A sad glimpse of the future: People who can only bully others over a computer (nerd pu$$ies), and people who let it get to them (straight up pu$$ies). American parents are really failing the rest of us right about now. Keep your damn kids in line.

Having worked with teenagers in middle/high schools for the past several years..."parents" need to realize these things:

1. Your child does not need a cell phone. They can pay for the bill themselves when they turn 18...by all means they can have one. They will and can misuse this tool...especially since someone like me will take their phone in the front of other students and allow them to discuss why they don't use it during class with the principal.

2. Your child is not the "angel" you portray/think they are. I have held more meaningful/thoughtful discussions on responsibility with my pets than I have with many children or parents. Actions do have consequences...unlike what many children/parents believe.

3. Whoever told your child life is fair have left your children open to a rough life. People cheat/steal/murder and get away with it all the time. That doesn't make what they do right. It makes them lousy and stupid people. Justice for them may not come in this life...but if you believe in an after life...you don't want to be explaining why they thought being a brat all their life was suitable behavior.

Pith,

In many cases, that is the answer for dealing with bullies; provided they aren't willing to make as many diifferent FB identities as it takes to be friended on the victim's page. In the case of DC, he couldn't ignore it because there were two sets of bullies: DC and the people that were being bullied by the identity thieves. It took a lot of work to catch them; it seems that maybe at least one of the boys might be not obeying the terms of probation.

D. Lowrey: Please rethink #3 re: "an after life" and being a "brat" with students. (Not to mention the separation of church and state within public schools......)

How much more noble if we have children/people think more deeply as did Einstein:

"If people need to be threatened with some mystic afterlife to do the decent thing - man is DOOMED."

Unless kids are 18 years old, their parents should be supervising their Internet time.

D.Lowery, post 1.10, and many of the rest:

I agree with many of you as I am a Parent, and when my Daughter was growing up, it didn't matter what "all her friends were doing", what mattered was I teach and guide her to respect others and obey the Law. The problem today stems from the multitude of Parents that feel the School Sysytem is their private Nanny and should be held responsible for all the kids action or inaction. They are also led astray by the Marketers that swear that your child will be doomed for life if they aren't connected to the "Social" network and can only do so with the lastest, biggest, most expensive toy out there. Parents are also guilty of "Electronic Babysitters' such as the Internet, cell phones, twixting, and the garbage on Cable TV. If you have time to create the little dears, then step up and take the time to raise them properly by NOT allowing the toys until earned. Teach them respect and personal responsibility, how to act and dress, ( Not like little slut's and gangbangers), and to be real Human beings.

The one Mother's statement about how she approached her Daughter by referring to someone abusing her Puppy was great, and should be used more often, just to make the point very clear.

I also refer to "Helpful-2758463 about the slamming of imaginary beings. When I was growing, we were given a lot of Religous training. I am not by any means a Zealot, but leave personal belief to each individual. However, the Training we did get didn't turn us into little hoodlums, nor Mass Murderers, nor Molesters, but it did teach the thought that whatever we DID do or say was heard by someone, and when Mom and Pop found out, we would be properly punished. As for the Bullying part: Parents, teach your Children to defend they're personal spaces, and by no means, allow that Child to believe they have any "Rights" other than what YOU, as the Parent grant them.

Childhood is and was tough. That is where we shape if we become responsible Adults or the Parents of today that make the evening news along with their ill-advised Children. This is a problem that starts AND stop's with Mom and/or Dad doing the right thing and actually teaching the Kids values and personal responsibility, and that isn't taught by squalling, hitting, or posibly killing someone you, as Parents, disagree with. There are Laws, and those Laws have to be obeyed, by both the Parent and Child. If you can't raise that Child, don't have it ( NOT Abortion for Birth control as is common ), or give the child to someone that will raise and teach it properly.

Oh, yeah, my Daughter turned out just fine, even though she didn't have it all, all the time, and in addition, she Graduated 4.0 with a Masters while working in College, and she never did any jail time, which is a "Badge of Honor" to some Children and Parents. Yep, I'm Bragging because I'm proud of the Person she became in spite of what the "Social" authority suggest as good " it's the School's fault" Parenting.

Ray:

Religion has no place in the public school system, ESPECIALLY when used by people (self proclaimed "educator") who refer to our children as "brats" and used the term "Fuc$" in another posting on here.

This language on a public forum is not befitting an "educator." What a ROLE MODEL for our children!!

SOMETHING is very wrong here .

I feal sorry for this spoiled generation!

I'm with you. I can't have children and being 40 now, was having a case of the "mommy's" for awhile. This makes me glad I didn't take that path. I don't know what I would do if I had child who was a bully or was being bullied. It was hard enough back in the 70s and 80s.

Agreed. Can't have kids by medical issue, and as I see more and more about this crap, I can't imagine having to deal with it. I was bullied myself pretty badly, and we didn't have the internet back then. I can see how so many kids kill themselves over this, because it's not just a rumor spread through school where you can do some type of damage control. It's now for anyone and everyone and people you don't know.

Scary stuff.

good post, dsb. Couldn't have said it better myself. The biggest influence on a child usually is their parents and when they have no restraint, their children are naturally going to follow suit. If you want an example, go to any children's sporting event and see how the parents act when a call doesn't go their kid's way. I'm just glad my kids are grown and turned out okay.

Could not agree more dsb. :)

I have found most newsvine posts monitored by tyler and the new gal as a step in the right direction, those that don't follow newsvine code of ethics get spanked or banned. Kudos to them.

I have found that posters on 1st read threads have nothing holding them back from trying to be cyber bullies by referring some politicians as "orange man" or republithugs or demeaning others who post opposing thoughts as they merrily skip down their elitist liberal path. But I digress, I will maintain the code here on newsvine, and play the same game as posters on 1st read, what code???

American: I'm with you. Ethics, morals, civility, manners, consideration of others has all gone out the window since I was raised. On these comment pages, I'm shocked by the rage spewed out, the nastiness, and mean spirited posts.

the politicians are fair game and it works both ways with the name calling as well.

It pretty much an everyday occurrence. No respect for others, too much hotheadedness.

All you need to do is go to a mall or drive any highway to know that civility is gone. It is not just children, adults have no respect for anything any more.

My Mom always summarized it well in two words:

BE NICE.

Actually, read the comments section on any news site, and you are probably reading quite a few nasty postings by teenagers. Remember that anyone can post to the comments section, and teenagers particularly enjoy punking the "clueless" adults. Many of the worst offenders--look for spelling, it's a dead give-away--are teens and not adults.

One of the major problems with people having fewer children and placing the one or two they have in daycare is that they don't know their children well and their children don't really bond with them in the way that was common in the past. When a person has three or four children, and sees them interact on a daily basis, that person has a pretty good idea of what kind of individual each child is. They used to be a lot less "surprised" by what they would do.

Children identify with one another now--not with their families. They form little "gangs" for self-protection, and one of the things they do now is bully. They know that the worst they will get is some counseling--and they can punk the counselor. As a generation, Generation Y and below has already been tested and found wanting in the area of empathy. They genuinely do not have feelings for anyone other than themselves--not even their parents.

Remember, these are the people who will be taking care of you in your old age and choosing your nursing home. Kind of frightening, really.

The term teenager is probably relative - a lot of adults over 21 are still caught up in the 10-17 year old mind set or younger. Poor typing skills abound everywhere. But yes, I agree about the separation from the family as the key, or at least where the family is so in the background socially and emotionally that too many kids are growing up alone-learning to be little uncivilized monsters from other teenagers.
see Lord of The Flies a novel about a group of British schoolboys stuck on a deserted island who try to govern themselves, with disastrous results. Some of the boys end up dead.

Also, rage and acting out is a new social phenomena-"Don't bottle up your feelings, that's bad for you" is the line from some pop-psych garbage that I find in a lot of venues these days. So on that 1/4 of the usual recipe for dealing with feelings-there are real problems about hiding from strong feelings- a lot of Americans are taking a line from the 1960's : "Let it all hang out." We can see it in so called talk shows that turn into shouting matches, political discussion among extremists on the political right who make a living spewing hatred about Muslims, gays, minorities, immigrants. Hatred towards low income families appears to this casual observer to be at an all time high. Hatred towards the disadvantaged and unemployed flourishes from while I sit here typing . Hatred towards the better educated members of our society is found everywhere. Hatred is now garbed in cyber-screams- a new way of forming gangs who roam the streets of the Internet to intimidate and reek personal havoc; the fervent delusions of the perpetrators seems to be pathological, "I'll build up my ego by spewing venomous statements at the nearest target."

I see our society falling into the abyss and with that fall goes respect for fellow human beings, sincerity and honesty are slowly becoming personality descriptions that denote a negative value, something to be shunned and sneered at by the spreading hoards, a contagion of evil.

Hatred towards the disadvantaged and unemployed flourishes from while I sit here typing -should read-Hatred towards the disadvantaged and unemployed flourishes around me while I sit here typing

DSB....so so true...so true until I'm sure there will be some ignorant responses to your post, but the truth is everyone sees and hear the mean comments that are made daily by talk show host, polititicans, and those who want to be like them. Unfortunately, as long they get a pass and keep hiding behind the "free speech" excuse, I don't see a change.

In my opinion, the lack of civility is not a by-product of the anonymity that goes with the internet; the internet simply is a means to amplify the lack of civility.

The true origin is quite simply that the core and the future of our society (the Baby Boomers and every generation since), from our youth, have been taught to be arrogant.

There is a line between pride and arrogance that we have somehow lost sight of. Long ago, children were taught to be proud of their country's opportunity - that it was theirs to make great. Since the end of WWII, that has changed to the idea that we are great. The former idea implies we still have much to achieve, the latter that we have already achieved. And it is this difference in ideology that allows us to lose our civility. We think we are already great, even though we (the current people) have done so little to deserve that adjective. We are riding the coattails of those who have come before us. We have forgotten how to earn success because we already believe we have it.

It's time for people to remember the lesson of Aesop's fable "The Tortoise and the Hare."

I will pass on daddy's favorite line..."if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all."

And if the world had said that about Hitler?

I couldn't agree more. It's like we're turning in to savages. It starts with the parents. It's the parent's responsibility for keeping up with what there kid is up too. I'm personally feed up with sad stories like this. It's mental abuse, it's destroying children's lives. Is this what the future holds?

Your post is excellent, and I totally agree. It's a shame to see our society's shrinking manners. Since I cannot control what other people do, I continue to use my manners and I have taught my 3 children to always use their manners. When my kids friends come over, they use their manners or they are not invited back. Rudeness should not be tolerated. I can only hope that my refusal to to lose my civility will rub off on those who I am civil to.

I have found most newsvine posts monitored by tyler and the new gal as a step in the right direction, those that don't follow newsvine code of ethics get spanked or banned.

Yes, we no how that goes.

I agree dax...there seems to be no social graces anymore. It's the generation of "me" and "I want it now" with no regard to other's feelings. Everything is instantaneous-whether it's microwave dinners or reporting on what's-her-name wore to the mall. The internet has removed that face-to-face interaction resulting in loss of empathy. You didn't really hurt them if you don't see their reaction.

It really needs to come down to monitoring your kid's actions online. No one under the age of 18 should have a computer hidden away in their room. Ours is in the family room and is monitored. You need to see what your kids are posting and looking at. TALK to them....DISCUSS consequences....limit time online.....no Internet access from cell phones--it's not necessary. Monitor texts....it's a privilege, not a right. Turn them off in the evening and have family time. I know-it's horrible and your kids will hate you right??? What happened to being your child's parent not friend??? They will survive, I promise.....

As far as parents of bullies who are in denial....unfortunately, you'll always see that at times. Many were bullies themselves and just don't see the problem. It's frustrating as all hell. Listen to your kids, be supportive, and work through the schools/authorities if you have to. Sometimes there is just no talking to these people--but it's YOUR child's life on the line....

I tell my kids often, you don't have to like everyone but you have to be nice to everyone. You also have to stand up for yourself. Never start a fight but defend yourself if someone starts one with you. In 6th grade I did, and they never picked on me again.

It's a different world today.....but the same basic principle exists:treat others as you would like to be treated. It's critical we instill that into our kids!

How consistent are the young in dismaying their elders, and how universal a phenomenon!

The above quote was taken from an ancient Sumerian tablet (c. 8th Century BCE). It seems that ours is not the first generation that has had issues with our children not following our guidance...

The problem we face is different, however (as each and every generation before us has, I'm sure said); the risk of public exposure, even global exposure, is much greater than before. Once upon a time, if two reckless teenagers got it on, it was between them, their God, and any cows that happened to pass by in the field. Today, there seems to be an increased susceptibility, even eagerness, in youth to show off their assets, and to critique others. There is a certain amount of democritization in this process though; even the most lonesome, awkward teen can bully the most popular student.

So what's the solution? I honestly don't know...

Hey Hey 40 is too high. Anyone born after 1979 is done!!!!

I am very offended by your post.

You see, I understand your post and I even semi-agree with it. Actually, my cousin and I had a conversation about this. She asked me why I was afraid to be a part of this generation.

And I told her, "When kids get everything they want, and never see other people struggling to earn something, then they never learn empathy. And when people do not have empathy then they are not human. Just selfish, apathetic zombies."

Luckily, that did not manage to put a damper on The Pirates of the Caribbean. =D

Anyway, it is not fair that you would generalize all teenagers as selfish. I know good adults are hard to come by, but that doesn't mean the next generation is going to be full of buttheads who only care about themselves and Justin Bieber.

There are still nice people out there, spread the kindness!

And adopt an animal from the shelter. (Yay! Propaganda!)

Wow. Your generalization is untrue and, honestly, insulting. An entire generation without empathy? Really?

I was born into the so-called "me me me generation," and I - along with a good number of my peers - care about social issues, volunteer our time to help others, and believe that bullying is unacceptable. WE ARE NOT ALL BAD PEOPLE.

My parents would not "kill" me if I were to behave like the teens in this article, but that doesn't mean that they would tolerate cruelty. There's always more than one way to learn a lesson. Maybe good-old-fashioned-discipline isn't the only way to teach kids how they should (and shouldn't) treat others.

And for the record - in case you didn't know - there are plenty of people aged 40+ who are spoiled, cruel, and shallow. Adult bullies exist. At my grandma's nursing home, there is clique of elderly women who shun certain loners and exclude them from their card games (I'm not even kidding.)

There are nasty people in every generation. But there are kind people, too.

Empress, trying to figure out what is meant by your post.

#1: You need to learn to add. I was born in 79 and will only be 32 in March, not 40.

#2: Are you saying that anyone born after 79 is bound to be a bully? I was one of the ones bullied as a kid, mostly due to my weight. There will always be good and bad in every generation, no matter what we do.

Just wodering.

Great post dax!

I've always found social networking sites to be quite pointless. Although I do have a facebook, I hardly ever log on, and only to talk to my brothers whom use it constantly. I much prefer phone calls or Ventrilo (i'm a gamer...) if i'm going to talk with someone electronically. In other words, i want to have a conversation, not a text war.

To comment on a few of the cell phone comments... I had a cell phone all throughout high school. Maybe it's just me, but i never took it out during class. Had nothing to do with the teacher, I just wasn't interested in texting pointless conversations with friends. I DID however, have many conversations during class with my peers.

The whole texting problem in general is quite bad though. In fact, it's quite ridiculous how much time my classmates did spend on their phones pecking away. And when you read what they're saying... it would take them literally 3 minute to talk vs. the 55 minutes to text.

Back to dax, I agree, parents need to step up. There really is a ridiculous abundance of spoiled rotten kids, who value only themselves, and have no concept for work ethic. I thought my generation was bad, but during my senior year, looking down on the freshmen... *shivers*. It's bad... really bad. These are the people whom are going to grow up and replace the jobs you guys are doing right now! We don't need an institutional answer to this... we need an individual answer. The parents need to step up, and the people in the communities need to step up.

Parker and Candy,

I think he understands that (i'm from your generation as well).

Your right, there are many people whom do care, and are very active socially (in a meaningful way). These are the people whom will play the most important role in 20-30 years.

The problem that Dax and I see is simple however. There's far much more bad in this generation than necessary. Stop slamming Dax for his "offencive post" and start making a difference to the peers that need that extra push. I've made a significant difference in 3 peoples lives through high school. Got one person out of drugs and depression, and two from solitude (you know... the type that drives people to do heinous acts...). If you guys truly care about others, and are active in discussing social problems, then reflect on your peers and help prop our generation up.

Telling Dax he's wrong is just avoiding the issue. You see it in class every day. (quick comment though... i saw the problem WAY less in advanced classes than in basic classes)

What happened was that we took away the right to punish, both from school and now from the home. If I was to give my kids the same punishments I got as a kid, I would get arrested.

I agree Dax ... And Clinton you are exactly right! The problem is that society has taken away our right to efffectively parent our children. When you have a 13 year old female child (#4 in a household of wonderfully well behaved accountable and respectful children - so it's not the parenting style) who has mental issues (diagnosis Bi-Polar, Pre-Antisocial behavior) and give her power over her father - who believes strongly in children respecting adults/teachers/others/themselves - but SHE sees it as overbearing and overly restrictive - and allow her the power to completely ruin her father's life by making all sorts of false allegations through organizations like Child Protective Service, what is a parent supposed to do? The father can't lay a hand on her (heck he's even afraid to hug her because her next false allegation that he will have to vigorously defend will be sexual abuse), he can't lock her in her room (abuse), he can't just restrict her to her room (emotional abuse), he can't lock her outside (child endangerment due to inclimate weather even when it's a beautiful 75 degree sunny day), he's exhausted all "CPS acceptable punishements" taken away TV, video games, internet access, used restriction, done all the huggy soft stuff and nothing works. Then this child for the 3rd documented time in less than 2 years, threatens to stab someone at school, then when caught deflects that her dad "abuses" her (which as stated earlier is an outright lie) and CPS buys it and turns the investigation turns on Dad and Dad is forced to defend his life ... who do we blame then? If I behaved one-tenth of the way this child behaves while I was growing up my butt would have been quite toasty. Not abused - disciplined. We, as a society, have swung so far to one side because there are parents out there that do abuse their children, that we can't see the forrest for the trees. We cannot discipline our children without the fear of being arrested because society says it's bad and yet society cries "parents do something!!" I say, then let us.

I completely agree with you. I think this is a no-brainer. I don't have to worry about "secretly monitoring" my child. I DO monitor him and there's nothing secret about it. He doesn't have to use the PC (he doesn't have a phone yet) but if he does, he has no expectation of privacy.

That is the condition that my nieces have with their cells and facebook. One set up a facebook account without okaying it with her parents first...needless to say, she didn't get very far with it. They have to turn over their phones whenever asked, no questions. The one with the facebook account has to allow one of the parents to view her account whenever asked, no questions.

that the condition of them getting a cell phone with text and an e-mail address and a facebook account is that you (the parent) get to review EVERYTHING.

That idea is just wrong-kids have a right to privacy and taking that away won't teach them to respond to other folks, honestly, sincerely and in a civil manner.

The problem that I see is the social disconnect that exists in our society between adults-who mostly want to work a lot and then come home and work some more and then watch TV and then konk out-but who then do not have time for developing a real relationship with the youngsters!? How about treating the kids like they were somebody who mattered? I really doubt that the parents of the monstrous perpetrators storied in this article-apparently one parent is a school teacher and a coach( !?) - really related to their children in a very real and meaningful fashion. I see that paragon of virtue in the school masking his real personlity, so aptly diplayed by the kid, who is just mimicking his dad's behavior of being a snarling, snurly, "I'll beat your ass kid if you don't shape up" kind of no nonsense perverse psychology that is a real self esteem killer for the kid and turns him into a sniveling, shrinking, venomous gremlin.

@Thaddeus,

When my kid can pay the 110 dollar a month phone bill or for his own internet connection, he can expect a measure of privacy. If I'm a parent and footing the bill, he/she will have to abide my rules. You can't know if your kid is being a dbag and fix it without actually knowing what he/she is up to and what kind of degenerates they might be hanging around with.

My parents never check my computers, phone or Ipod,and the same for my brother. They do not know my passwords and the only time they get on any of my computers is when there is a tech issue. I have a laptop and desktop computer in my room, and not once have they asked me to look on them. Why, because me and my brother have been taught not to do anything stupid. The sheer thought of having one computer in a teen's room could be insanity for some parents, let alone two, but it really depends on the person. If they know not to do stupid things, then don't raise them in a house where big brother is watching them all the time. On the other hand if your kid has been known to act out frequently, then it's bad idea.

Agree. Some of the yahoos that reply to the articles here should never be allowed a computer. The insults, accusations, and just plain meanness are appaling. No wonder it's getting worse with the younger generation. I was bullied as a kid, but never to this extent. There were names, teasing, things like that. But it was more or less face to face. There wasn't the pervasive online communities like there is today.

so if tons of people told your kids to that they should die EVERYSINGLE day, given reasons why they should die, told them how should do it. Youd be ok with that? that wouldnt harm them in any way?

its not cursing or fighting, these kids arent doing it as a joke, They are doing it to be mean. Thats it, they are saying things that if they said it in person a parent would probably smack them. If an adult said these things they would be arrest for threats and possibly assult.

You cant blame the Victims they didnt do anything other then read how much everyone hates them and wishes they wont around. Anyone who can handle being told that every day constanty must not have many emotionals or a heart

Its only mean if you raised your kid to be a victim, if not your kid is laughing his/her a^^ off and thinking of a way to get even.

This is school stuff and no kid can keep his/her mouth shut. Your kid just was not given the tools to handle it. YOUR FAULT.

So hurtful, disrespectful, hate-filled words are only "mean" if the recipient of said words is a self-proclaimed victim? Otherwise I suppose such words are just peachy? And the way to handle bullying behavior is to "think up ways to get even." In other words, two wrongs apparently make a right.

No wonder the word is so screwed up, if this is the "grown-up" response to teenage bullying. Doesn't sound like you have changed much from the "troublemaker" yo were as a kid.

The philosophy of winning or losing and getting even are worlds apart and those of us that understand getting even don't have a problem.

Getting even is not about winning, it is to send a warning, don't do it again, I'm smarter.

You were obvously a bully as a kid. Maybe not by today's standards, but still a bully. Just because someone doesn't want to read nasty, mean and hurtful things about them ALL the time does not make them victims.

As for "laughing their a^^ off and thinking of a way to get even", that leads to more mean spirited people, that's all. No more, no less. You are teaching children that it's okay to be just as mean, or even worse, to others. Perpetuating the cycle doesn't help anyone

To setterperch. You seem to consider being an "extrovert" as some personal accomplishment. It is the personality you were born with; that's fine, but that personality is not intrinsically better that an introverted, more private personality - different, not better. Please tell me you can see that some people don't want to be on display and prefer to be private; that is the personality they were born with. Can you then see how being denied your privacy, especially for a child, could be devastating. Would you post your real name and email address? If someone went and got that would you dismiss the need for privacy then?

Did I put the fear of me in any boy that dated my daughter

So if you were a high ranking executive in a large company you would 'put fear in any employee' who approached your office? Is that how you would behave in a class room if your were the teacher? Is that how you would counsel a troubled youth if you were a professional counselor? Or a high school principal? Or a line foreman? You really believe that placing fear in another-(based on some imaginary action that you could not actually back up with anything but words) - is a good way to achieve positive results in human relations.?

Your behavior is part of the problem we are discussing here. I suggest you grow up out of your second grade fears and learn to relate to people in a sincere, warm, caring way that shows some compassion for the other person's struggle and right to exist in your space. Besides, how do you place fear in somebody? It takes more than just words or action-remember the Wizard of Oz with his megaphone and smoke and mirrors and screens? "Pay no attention to that little man behind the curtain."

Try loving your fellow humans if you want to impress them.

All I can say is NICE!!

That would make Chris Hansen smile.

WHY?????

The kid has a thousand ways to get even.

Best philosophy in the world " never get mad, get even " and you can do it with a smile.

That would be worse. Its not punshing the other kids to get even, its just adding to the problem.

If I am smiling at my enemy and he/she knows I did it and no way to prove it I win detente. From here friends can be built, not enemies.

Yea, outside the box for a lib.

Setter, why would anyone want to befriend someone who "just got even with them"? I wouldn't trust a person like you for any reason and sure wouldn't want to be a friend. Your attitude just makes a bad situation worse. Although, you apparently wouldn't care anyway as long as you "won".

Again, Setter showing just how mean and untrustworthy he is. Some kids just don't have the ability to "get even" with their tormentors. I didn't, just stuck with it through my school years till I got out of that hell hole. Winning is not everything. Getting over on someone who has done you wrong is not everything. Sometimes, just making it out of it in one piece, physically and emotionally, is enough.

settersperch: Dismissing a bullying because the victim should find a way to "get even" invites a series of escalations. Dillon and Kliebold, the Columbine killers, found a way to get even. Their response was pretty extreme but just how much retaliation is getting getting even and how much is overdoing it? It also gives the bully the idea that anything he does is OK because the victim can just fight back if it goes too far. Such a bully never learns to understand the feelings of others, or to control his own actions and feelings until he is forced to by return violence.

Setter,

Just because your enemy won't be able to prove you did it doesn't mean that he/she won't know you did it. Knowing alone may prompt him/her to try to get you back.

thats a good point. But that boy dc didnt have any facebook acount and it still happened to him.

So your answer is to deprive the child of technology and let him/her become a victim??

That makes sense how???

Giving the child the technology to be cyberbullied is depriving him of something else? How is taking away that which hurts him going to make him a victim?

That makes sense how?

it's the prognosis of a society in decline. People who don't have to face others are emboldened and are free to lash out at will. Unfortunately, the new "information age" is the perfect tool for that kind of behavior. I used to get upset when someone would insult me over an opinion that I posted. Now, I don't care and if they insult me, it just shows me how frustrated they really are because they can't come up with a better answer.

You have a valid point about trying to teach children not to let vicious words hurt their self-esteem, but things have changed in the last 62 years. Today, thanks to the widespread instant communication of modern technology, slander can be spread with the speed of lightning - and you may not even know who your 'attacker' may be. It is hard to "get even" with someone when you don't even know who is after you. Kids who don't even take part in on-line communication may find the school hallways buzzing with whispered words and snickers all because someone posted something about them or their family on-line. Threats can be posted anonymously. Families can be slandered. E-mail communications and forum posts can be sent in your name trashing your name and reputation. It is a different world, and even the strong willed and strong minded can find it difficult going.

granted your reply has some valid points, but the fact still remain that whoever is doing the texting will come to the forefront.

How the person reacts between is where the problem is. If he/she has no tools, its victim time. If he/she is given the tools from the parent, time and patience allows the "get even " phase to equal any situation.

You don't always win by winning, sometimes you lose.

And who says the person doing will come forward?? It is usually someone ratting out the person who started the cycle, not the person coming forward. They are "safe" behind the anonymity of technology.

To settersperch. I was told the same thing Sticks and stone may break your bones ,and names will never hurt you. But being called names can hurt a person.Being called 4 eyes,buck teeth ,pigeon toed ,and a few other not so nice names .Does hurt a person ,not physically but mentally .Because I was called those names when I was in school.Even though I dressed nice did good in school ,never got in trouble in school .I was still picked on.I never could figure out why kids would say things like that.And my daughter was picked on .Because she lost her hair ,and had to wear a wig .Kids in the school lunch room would rip it off her head and throw it around the room.Now tell me that wouldn't hurt a teenage girl? Kids can be cruel and mean.My mom when she was in school in the 1930's kids made fun of her .She was from a poor family and only had 2 dresses .And kids would make fun of her.So bullying has been around a a very long time .It's nothing new.Now it cyber bulling. And it hurts .It can be a pain that no band aid can cover.If your differnt ,dress ,talk ,and walk diffrent .Theres allways someone who get some sick perverted pleasure out of picking on someone who is diffrent.

A lot of talk about getting even. But for you that obviously means controlling the other person. Control is the theme of all of your posts. Are you out of control? What will you do to get even with me? Anything? Anything you can admit to in public? Anything you would want done to you? Or is "getting even" just a blanket you clutch to so the grumpy, sour, scared, runny nosed second grader inside you can attempt to seek solace from the affronts of the world?

Try accepting that we are all flawed, vulnerable, caring, warm humans when we want to be and we can accept the other's flaws, vulnerabilities and care about them without attacking them. By the way, the mother in the above story was very brave in seeking out the gremlins who stole her son's online identity illegally and was offered the chance to prosecute. Should she have done that to "get even?"

The "sticks and stones" adage is not true. Words do hurt. Some people can blow off insults; others can't.

Some people are too defective to blow off insults?

Maybe you are defective?? Just a thought.

That is a personal attack and against the COH.

Just saying, you are claiming that people who can't handle the bullying are defective. Maybe it's your thinking that is, not the people who are being bullied. Have you ever been the subject of bullying? It's not as easy as you say for everyone to withstand the slurs and insults and even physical attacks. I was only able to withstand the ones at my last school because I knew I was only there for 2 years. It was only a matter of time till I was oout of that hell hole. But let me tell you, my tormentors made my life a living hell for those 2 years. However, I do believe that everyone has the right to their opinion. Sorry if I hurt your little feelings, but maybe now you understand what some of us went through

You are entitled to express your opinion, but you have to follow the COH. That means no personal attacks.

One thing. It was not meant as a personal attack to you. However, I took your comment personally as I would be classed in the "defectives" group according to you. You may not have aimed it at one person in particular, but to the people who are responding to this discussion, it could be deemed as a personal attack when you make a comment like that.

How is "Maybe you are defective??" nit a personal attack??

It was meant as a smarta$$ retort to your rather smarta$$ comment, nothing more. You are the only one who has called a personal attack on any comment here, and some have been rather nasty.

They have been nasty. That's why I use the '!' menu on each post too.

All the tail end of this posting shows is that you can throw out a nasty comment, but when the very same comment is thrown right back at you, you cry foul. Sounds like the typical definition of a bully to me. You can dish it out but you can't take it.

I disagree. I think when it's over, there will be no more anonymity on the Internet..............and I think that would be a good thing! Anonymity is what's causing this societal problem, if everyone had to give their real name, photogragh and IP address in plain site with every post, this nonsense would come to an almost immediate halt.

Amen to that. If anything, the internet has given us more freedom than ever imagined. The forefathers would have been amazed, then shocked and would've probably set forth a motion to immediately contain it.

How many of the children causing or having problems are below the minimum age required for facebook (as specified in the TOS)?

What will they find out? That you'll go postal?

Where my nieces and nephews go to school, cells are not allowed, period. You get caught with one, after school detention. After that, it goes higher. My oldest niece got caught with one when her mother was in the hospital. The school tried to use the line that she could have left it in the office. She had tried that before, and it hadn't worked out. Now, it was her fault because she took it out on school property. But there was a valid reason to have it on her person. I do agree with the rule as there are way too many distractions today

The problem is that parents insist their children have cell phones on their person when at school in case of a Columbine incident. Can't say I blame them, but since I was one myself, kids are going to try and get away with as much as they can. I'm sure plenty of students have texted a message or two under the desk during class.

Zuckerberg should be in court. A class action law suit should be started immediately holding Facebook legally responsible for every minors profile without and age verified parental consent. It's easy enough to do. Zuckerberg is simply an A$$hat who like so many others froim his generation only cares about himself and his bank account. He doesn't care that he is providng an avenue for this type of activity. This is pure and simple negligence. They kjnow it's happening, They know its harmful and sometimes as we have seen fatal. I agree with parental responsibility 100 percent. But I can be the most responsible parent ont he planet but as long as sites like Facebook condone identity theft and do nothing to stop it even when thy are notified by an adult that their childs identity has been stolen it will do no good. The people who put these sites out there need to be repsonsible and be held responsible. This could be stopped quite easily if anyone really wanted to but guys like Zuckerberg don't care that people are using their website to accomplish this. Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg are completely and 100 percent responsible for people using their site to facilitate identity theft. I am responsible for my kids. He is responsible for his website and how people use it. Especially when he condones identity theft and refuses to stop it from happening.