When it comes to infidelity, power may play bigger role than gender, new study finds
Article Source: msnbc.com
from:msnbc.comIt's not just guys, powerful women also more likely to cheat
Seeded on Thu May 19, 2011 11:33 AM EDT (msnbc.com)
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It is the hypocritic society, in which the hypocritic culture is alive, for which the adultery has been created, and that kills relationship or is pessmistic of the relationship, to which we are actors and actresses in the midst of it.
I don't think "society" can be blamed for this one. If there was ever a case to be made for individual responsibility for individual actions, this is it.
Why do people seek Power, to Lord it over others. There is no point otherwise.
Power makes the World go round. Power people run the World.
Power corrupts absolutely and EVERYONE wants it. Only a fool would turn it down.
Lord Acton's quote goes, "power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely."
But i agree cathee, that power is tempting and very near to the root of all evil.
I thought there was a study done a little after Bill Clinton's indiscretions, to see if there were any increases in infidelity.
Definitely some interesting sociological studies that could be done about this, but I agree that it is up to the individual to choose cheating over not cheating.
I agree somewhat that society plays a big factor. But within any society, the "powerful" are usually the ones who have RESOURCES and thus have the most opportunities to "cheat"...confidence and testosterone aside.
This study is jumping to wrong conclusions and overlooking a lot of things besides being a very "limited" study. If "testosterone" played such a factor in "power attainment via risk taking and confidence blah blah blah", why don't we see the "captains of the football team" become powerful adults in later life? Instead it's usually the "straight A quiet nerds" who become your boss when you grow up.
And "Impulsive risk takers"??? Yeah, criminals can be classified in that category as well... lol
If Mary were to go through an immaculate conception today, would God be charged with sexual harassment or sexual misconduct or rape?
TonyInDallas: Wow! Something unique to ponder. Congratulations for expanding the debate to the "All Powerful." But, expect a lot of blowback for your question. "They" will call it sacrilege.
Just contemplating God and Jesus in the modern world.
Jesus would be a religious nut or cult leader. God would be a murderer, sexual predator, bigot, and probably charged with "failing to render aid".
How much power did Arnold's maid have? What about Monika Lewinsky? The half dozen or so that were with Tiger Woods?
Doesn't cheating go both ways?
I would say Monica and all the rest of these women were SEEKING power, considering they weren't in powerful job positions. Maybe they thought this would get them a promotion? That surely is the case for a lot of secretaries sleeping with their bosses.
Although power and sleeping with someone powerful were alluring things for Monica et al, they also probably wanted fame, and the hush money that comes along with sleeping with a wealthy person.
@ Hot-in-Miami
Correct!
Marie Shriver knew all about Arnold however, she also wanted to be "FIRST LADY of CALIFORNIA"'
That gave her power of her own. All the women you mentioned wanted to gain power by sleeping with Powerful Men, because they had the opportunity and ceased the moment.
Maria didn't want Arnie to run for governor.
Um, none of those women were cheating as far as I know. At least I don't think they were married. It's not nice to sleep with a married person but it isn't the same thing as cheating- that's on the person that made the commitment.
This blame game is stupid. When you cheat, whether you are a man or a woman, you are a piece of sh$t. I am a man, who has been married for 12 years now and never cheated on my wife. Bachaelor parties in the bahamas, business trips to Spain, etc. etc. I am in my early 30's and can say that. I have seen more relationships break due to cheating from both men and women. The only thing that makes someone cheat is their bad decisions, low ethics and inability to make their own decisions.
You're right. But it's only cheating when you say you won't, and then do it anyway. That's why traditional American marriage isn't such a bright idea for the powerful.
If, on the other hand, it's part of the deal from the start then, well, it's part of the deal. The woman agrees (for instance) to tolerate it in exchange for a big gain in her standard of living and/or status and the guy agrees to tolerate her lack of education and clout (or whatever) in exchange for being able to get something on the side every now and then. If the woman agrees, and then tries to re-neg after the marriage (perhaps with lots of drama), then it is she who is cheating. Bait-and-switch is bait-and-switch - no matter how you slice it - and it's the oldest and most used cheat in the book.
Power has always been an aphrodisiac, and there is nothing more attractive or sexier than confidence. This shouldn't be any kind of surprise to people paying attention.
True but a man who doesn't cheat is so much sexier.
Is this a case of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?
So much sexier than what, marinmom? A highly unattractive man who doesn't cheat is sexier (say, at ovulation time) than a highly attractive man who does? The truth, now! :-D
The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but at least it's a new bunch of cows!
-you need a study for this? I learned this the hard way when I found out my rich architect of a fiance was banging and engaged to another female while I had been with him for three years. To make matters worse he was seeing is oldest daugher's best friend- it has been 10 years since then I am stronger, older and much wiser- not a day goes by that I do not wish him dead. wink wink I am also 24 years younger than him-
The best thing I have going for me now is that it taught me to have confidence in myself, get a Master's degree, career . I will never think money and power is what I need to define me !!!!!
So strange that these folks don't just end one relationship before they start another. At least you didn't marry him. Sounds like you landed on your feet, dragonlady. Way to go! Women are taking over....
hmm, and did the degree and the position of power help you? why did a young you think an older professional established architect was the ticket to ride ?
you among most are guilty of playing the fool , and reversing the tide. then you become a real woman and buy vibrators.
@ are you done yet
WTF was the last line even necessary?
"are you done yet?" 's post was brutal, but I totally agree on his point.
Sounds like dragonlady is one of those many who "go for old rich guys", but then get all bitter when they don't get their way (i.e. they marry them and get taken care of for the rest of their lives). So these women want to weasel the money out of some old established dude, and maybe even get some inheritance later on...yet they don't suspect that other women would try it too? I suppose this old rich architech wasn't an angel either but his "experience" prolly told him to have "2 fiances and take the best one later...if any". But when you are a player in the game of players with another player...don't cry when you get played! Especially if you got fine wine and dine from the deal... ;)
I hope I can come through this as well as you. My husband of 12 years, and 73 years old was cheating on me with who knows how many women. The thing most of these comments leave out is how much this hurts the person who has been cheated on. It takes a real jerk to do this to someone who loves them.
Holy crap Patti, you're ex hubby should be in a Viagra commercial! rofl!
Actually, maybe he's a "real jerk" to you but this is how a lot of people are. They look out for themselves just as you would..."love" is conditional. When you can no longer meet the spouses expectations, that's when divorce happens. Don't believe the church vows, they don't work. His subconcious or whatever is telling him to reproduce before he dies and he's taking advantage of the fact that young fertile women might want to take advantage of his money so their offspring will prosper.
Yeah, well you can blame mother nature for giving women the short end of the stick in the spreading genes regard, but think of it this way. The laws favor women as well as the man's wallet favors women too. Man men are still expected to be the main bread winners and the laws even skew toward women to the point where many women with no skills get all the children and sometimes "megasalaries" for never working. It's up to you to take advantage of this.
In the end ppl are all expected to die and all you have left over is your children and your money. He can shoot for more children, and you can shoot for some of his money...perhaps to help your children if you have any. Because that's what marriage is for in the biological sense.
Too bad the powerful don't know how to accept "no" for an answer to their come-ons.
I'm pretty sure MOST "powerful" people would be very careful about raping someone and risk throwing away all they have worked for.
The phenomenon comes from the target who can't say "no" to the come-ons. There are many ppl out there who would dump their significant others for a go with a "powerful" (read: rich) prospect. That is a fact that has existed amoungst mankind since the beginning.
In addition to power, it is also opportunity. In my personal experience, as I rose through the ranks to positions of higher power, my time ceased to be my own. I was on the road, doing breakfast and dinner meetings and working late into the evenings. As a result, my family suffered.
The higher I climbed, the lonelier it got.
Eventually, I chucked the "climb the ladder" routine. I used to pay more in income taxes than my current annual income. However, I spend evenings with my family and sleep in the same bed as my wife. I attended my children's parent-teacher conferences, school plays and "meet the teacher" nights. I was there when my son wrecked on a fence and had to go get stitches.
I think infidelity occurs when the marriage is stagnant or unsatisfying . . . regardless of who the straying partner is. When you are unfullfilled in the relationship, or when one partner is not holding up his/her end, no one (including the cuckolded partner) should be surprised when the other partner cheats. It IS about working to keep the relationship interesting . . . by both partners . . . and if one (or both) don't want to take responsibility for doing that . . . well, then what happens, happens . . . it takes 2 to tango (as the saying goes) and that includes cheating and staying married/committed.
We're not talking about unsatisfying marriages. That's not the issue in these cases. People in power develop an entitlement complex. This goes for both sexes, but with differences. Women usually express their entitlement through material goods and men through sex.
Wrong, tallred. Have you been listening to Dr.Laura Schlessinger?
People in power are usually narcissists. Their parents usually ignored them as babies. They seek more attention than others.
OK tallred then how about instead of finding someone outside the marriage, fix the relationship you are already in...seriously invest time and attention on your partner instead of taking even more time and attention away from the marriage...or how about being a grown up and tell your spouse 'hey I am not happy, are you? ' and either fix it or THEN you leave and find someone else...treat the person you promised " for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer" with some respect, instead of making sorry excuses for cheating.
you'd be right if you were talking about middle class, Tal.
But in this case, it's the more "powerful" persons reasons on why they cheat.
They forgot to add the "Assh0le" factor!, some people are born to be "Assh0le's!", and that is a fact that is hard to debate!, I am sure there are many reasons why people cross the line, and each is as different as the individual. We live in a culture today that wants the simple answer to a complex question, but if you really want a simple answer to why people of power or of no power?, it's what I call the "Assh0le" factor!, If you ask a psychologist he/she will bore you to death with "Blaa,Blaa, Blaa!", We all have met these people who break the rules of civility! The only ones you might find that don't get it are the "Assh0le's!".
Now that's the simple answer....If you have time to waste, then we can go round & round on the other variables that keep someone from dominating another.
this article is old news.....i think most people can put two and two together after years of seeing powerful men AND women succumb to these antics
My husband cheated after 7 years of marriage and two little kids. He has a high profile job that makes him travel 90% of the year. Having a good job isn't the cause of the problem though... it's immaturity, lack of control, and lack of brains and respect for his family. Cheating is cheating, rich do it, the poor do it, and this case is bias because they only asked the rich and employed to begin with. Why don't they even it out and show that there are all kinds of horrible people at all levels of society.
true, my husband cheated after 10 years of marriage, our kids were 6 and 8...he did not travel and did not have a particularly high profile job, but he was immature, impulsive, selfish...I think if the opportunity presents itself, there are some people that will just put their immediate wants first and will not think about consequences...
Humans like sex and humans are not born monogamous. Anyone who disputes that has their head in the sand.
But that's the cool thing about evolution, amazed. The human race will learn to adapt, hopefully.
Both of these sound like my ex-wife, who cheated at 6 years of marriage and a 3 year old.
The simple answers these “scholars” come up with after their great time-changing research are astounding! SMH. Simple observation will reveal that confident (powerful) people do engage in more risky behaviours than those less confident. Cheating is just one of those risks. This correlation is evident even in children.
The simple answers these “scholars” come up with after their great time-changing research are astounding! SMH. Simple observation will reveal that confident (powerful) people do engage in more risky behaviours than those less confident. Cheating is just one of those risks. This correlation is evident even in children.
Most married men have the chance to have an affair. Not all have the will to walk away before straying.
Most people in power happen to be men. Men do cheat more than women do.
and just who do they cheat with most commonly, other women or the family dog? you assume too much. this phenomena involves many factors. in ancient times both would be stoned to death. thus cutting back on the incidents. you know like if the capital punishment was actually enforced.
So you're advocating a return to the stoning of adulterers?
Over 50% of married people cheat. women cheat more than men. This is why I laugh at the hypocrisy when this country points fingers at single moms. not only do they cheat , but they have more than one affair. This lie of moral superiority is a joke.
A piece of paper is not a magic wand that legitimizes a relationship, it is a mind set and a personal commitment. Marriage was founded in common-law. Statutory marriage where you go through a ceremony and now all this expensive fanfare that most people cannot afford is simply a money maker for businesses and lawyers and counties. More people are in love with the idea of a big ceremony than a real life with another person. Marriage ceremonies last longer than the marriage itself.
I've seen different types of men in power- while a lot of powerful men I've met- flirt and would most likely cheat. There are a few good ones that lead very purposeful lives and do not engage in that lifestyle. I think that is the difference. Men have to believe that they have more purpose and dignity in life than living in the moment. I also think it is a lack of self understanding and imaturity when they cheat! But it is a very sad world for our daughters!!!
If you read Maria Shrivers book written a few years ago, she talks about working hard to keep her man satisfied sexually. She also gave up a very successful career to take care of their children and support Arnold. She came out publically to defend him when he was accused of fondling women. Arnold is just an oversexed, entitled ape. Good luck, Maria with finding yourself and finding a new life. Some men are just jerks!!!!!!
Studies show that even among the ordinary "little people," many people of both sexes cheat on their partners, though many studies suggest men do so somewhat more and that womens' affairs are statistically more likely to result in an end to the original relationship. I am sure that people who feel that they can survive without their spouse are more likely to risk the relationship in that way, and since men are still usually the breadwinners, this may be a factor.
But honestly, there have not been a lot of allegations made against female politicians in that department (female actors are another ball of wax, of course). If Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Madeline Albright, Dianne Feinstein and other politically powerful women are cheating up a storm, they sure are better at keeping a lid on it than their male counterparts seem to be. And they probably should be, women's sexuality is less taboo than it once was, but I suspect that any female politician who cheated on her spouse would still have a harder time recovering politically than have Bill Clinton or Newt Gingrich. Some of it is would simply be the "yuck factor." Most people seem to have trouble imagining women over about 45 who actually look their age being sexual beings, no matter how powerful or rich they are.
Well said, Erica!
Yes, Erica, well said. A cheating female politician in America would be crucified - whereas cheating male politicians are merely notorious for awhile.
As an aside, I have more admiration for the actually cheating Bill Clinton (who rimmed Monica Lewinski) than the lusted-only-in-his-heart Jimmie Carter. I would think Jimmie was a total wuss, if it weren't for the fact that he was the skipper of a nuclear submarine once.
Erica, if men are cheating more than women, who are they cheating with? I think the women aren't telling the truth in these "studies".
Dallas- not everyone is in a relationship
Erica,
Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Madeline Albright, Dianne Feinstein? Are you serious? Power does not add to a woman's attractiveness, but you women are attracted to powerful men like the moth to the flame. Those 4 women you mentioned couldn't get a partner to cheat with unless they paid them.
cathee you have no idea what Maria knew or didn't know, she might have suspected he was not faithful, but when you love someone, you find it diffucult to believe they will treat you so badly...besides I find it very difficult to believe she knew about this child, that is an awful lot to ignore, your husband's mistress having a child within a week of giving birth yourself...why lay blame on a women who was lied to, cheated on and very publicly humilitated? whether you agree with her politics or do not care for her personally, why do women insist on treating other women so badly??
there's a whole lot more involved here than just dipping the wick. you can only guess and assume. adultery used to be punishable by law. oh, but we as humans are smarter now. hahahahahaha
Stone the adulterers, right?
his daughters best friend... now that is gross!
In my experience this is totally correct. I held a lot of power and influence in my early 30's and it gave me a lot of confidence and a lot of "social" success. Following the inevitable divorce, I tired of the scene and took a better paying but less "sexy" job. The confidence stayed, but as I watched women move into the sexy positions, I was amused to see they were no better than I was at handling the power. Jeeze I loved powerful women! Hell, I married one, and its been wonderful. I doubt she's always been faithful, but we both believe monogamy is over-rated, so its not that big of a deal to us. We've been together 30 years now, and what a ride!
I loved the powerful women, too (maybe not exactly in the same way, perhaps). The more powerful they were, the more I wanted to get them off with the kind of head a lesser woman wouldn't merit. When I look back on it, I am still haunted with desire.
Arnold is a pig.- Maria, u can do better.
kennedys have reasons for doing what they do.
Right on, Kayner. My hubby of 23 years said the other day, "Is something wrong with me? All these men in the news cheat on their wives. I never had sex with anyone else since I met you and I don't want to!" (And I am no hottie, believe you me. But he is pretty danged good-lookin', it wouldn't surprise me if he has had opportunity!)
It is character that determines if one is faithful or not. There are plenty of powerful men (and women) who don't cheat. And plenty of lower socio-economic men and women who do. You just hear about the big guys because it makes good press.
good for you. and well said. the media at work on us right?
I don't understand why this article is using an attempted rape as cheating. There is most definitely some sort of mix up in the authors mind. Oh and I don't really trust studies all that much especially when it doesn't cover all the possibilities.