I was wondering if the poor woman found out she was a "beard" for someone who was in the closet. That would be pretty devastating, enough to sue over perhaps?

Not sure I'd sue at all for this... would try to "fix" the problem if I could. Hurt people do things though....right or wrong. If he was in the closet, it's a shame there wasn't enough love there for him to be who he was. Wouldn't be able to stay married to him but an amicable split would have been good. If he had medical issues, then she absolutely shouldn't have sued. In sickness and in health, right? Though perhaps they could've/should've discussed other options to fill her sexual needs?? Maybe?

Didnt take no time for for a bunch of (women most likely) to accuse him of being gay. This idiotic false hood perpetuated by every single women against every single man that has any issues in the bedroom at any time is complete horse @!$%#!

Women get trained in their teens to think men always have hard ons and that if they dont then they are gay or something is very wrong with them or they are sick or over 65. That is HORSE @!$%#! Men 13 - 23 can think a hard on in 10 seconds on a 747 crashing into the ocean, this ability decreases DRAMATICALLY every 5 years after this age. In his mid thirties it really changes and again it gets worse in his forties and the fifties again, men brag that they are the same as they were when they were young is an complete lie even though 90% of men will scream this is not the case with them. The equipment is in PEAK performance at those young ages and women WRONGLY base their judgements of mens equipment in their 30s-40s based on their experience with men in their younger days ie. teens and 20s. Not to say some men do very well in their 30s and 40s but even so it is NOT the same as when they were 18- not even close.

If men blame womens sexual issues on being lesbians every time they failed to orgasm or enjoy sex with them ---how many gay women would there be? Fact is women just need ky jelly to perform and men can ignore their issues and get what they need and just try to sympathize/empathize with their womens sex problem. On the other hand men that have sex issues/stress (mental) issues/health issues can not easily get a hard on(pharmaceuticals do get them one but the QUALITY is no where CLOSE to a spontaneous REAL erection-it feels like it does for a women who is not in to sex and has to use ky) and it is 100% noticeable to women because men can not FAKE that. What if womens unit closed up and was very painful/ very NOTICEABLE unless they were working in perfect order? Then there would be 65% lesbians then.

Men lose their performance sexually BIG TIME as they age, they do not talk about this to ANYBODY and in fact 98% of men LIE constantly about anything that has to do with their sexual prowess and abilities even when they are 65-85 years old......they brag and lie if the topic ever comes up almost predictably 100% of the time. NO MAN ADMITS he has any issues with sexual performance EVER and they do everything humanly possible to HIDE it from their women and every one else including their DOCTORS!. So for all you women that claim every man that has not shown you interest or been able to perform as you THOUGHT he should WHEN you thought he should is gay ---you are 90-95% of the time WRONG.... if that is the only reason you are making that assumption--- ie no other real substantial- as in actually catching him pursuing live men and actually having gay relations- proof.

This is a public service announcement for any men who have been accused of being gay when they are NOT; which is a hell of a lot of men.

Women are soooo lucky.... They have half the money and ALL the puzzie!!

The most powerful words in a man's vocabulary. NO THANKS!

I would agree with you. However, this man stopped having sex with his wife when he was 31 years old and she was 26. I could see if it started when they were in their 50’s or even in their late 40’s.

I wonder what she did to deserve such horrible treatment.

Yeah, with a woman, you say "No" and if continue, it's rape. Try suing her and see if it holds in court or not.

With a man, you say "No" and you can get sued. Even if she found a way to rape him, it's doubtful the police would even take it seriously.

Could it be that she became a house after they got married but he was nice enough not to divorce her for it?

@Fake media

The guy did not have sex with his wife for the entire 21 years of their marriage. 21 years, 1,092 weeks, I won't even go into the days. If a guy can't have sex once in 21 years then there is a huge problem. You try to compare a woman's problem of not being able to orgasm to a guy's problem with not being able to get an erection but the thing is a woman can still have sex and not have an orgasm. They make an effort. No erection, no sex - the situations aren't the same. Not to mention what mental stress persists for 21 years? And you go on about how men lie about their sexual problems, well then he now has 15,000 reasons not to do it again, because unless you forgot lying is suppose to be a bad thing.

True that!

There's not enough cash that's ever been printed to cover that bill.

I'd be one of them...

Can our wives do the same? We tend to get fatter AND lose our hair and they're supposed to still want us.

Yes, Im sure Kevin is quite the fatty (who thinks squatting on his greasy sofa as having a life) complaining about his wife being 10 lbs heavier than when he married her.

@Ru-780672, First, clearly you missed the point. I was talking about the absurd.

Second, I am not married (but SHE did get fat after we divorced), and third, I am not overweight....so sorry, you lose.

No, I dont "lose" anything but I did miss your absurd point - my bad. :)

Frankly, even at my best, I'm still baffled as to why women would ever find men attractive.

It's a mental thing for us not always physical. If we like your personality and sense of humor we can overlook the weight, hair etc. and just want to wiggle on that :)

You can keep feeding somebody else the "I like his personality" BS. If that was the case most un-attractive men wouldn't have a problem getting a woman.

Sure "personality" might keep it going for the long term but I'm willing to bet if they didn't appeal to you at first you wouldn't give them the time of day.

Agreed JEFFINVA...There has to be that initial chemistry.

So, why would this wife stay in a sexless marriage for 21 years? Especially through her prime years...Money maybe?

Yeah, beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

I read a couple of different articles about this case and it wasn't completely NEVER it was just very infrequent. He constantly rejected her most of the time due to backache, headache, fatigue, stress, etc. she probably was being patient waiting for him to get over whatever current crisis he had until it became clear it wasn't going to get better. They did have 2 kids during their marriage (possibly a reason why she stayed as long as she did)

Kevin

not every woman becomes over weight after marriage either, i didnt, sooooo.....what? i dont get the point cause its not the same thing.

When an (ex)spouse pursues this kind of action, it seems to me that they don't care about the money, but they feel the need to hurt someone back for something that meant a great deal to them. That appears to be the case here and I don't begrudge her for doing so. In my opinion, she's perfectly justified; same for any man in a similar situations. Just my $0.02.

tsapience

If they don't plan on having sex then don't plan on getting married because it will cause further issues.

If there is no medical condition and you are married then, as a woman it is your job to make sure your husband is well taken care of.

Otherwise if you don't car about his feelings there are other woman out there.

Marriage isn't all about sex but it is a big part of it.

I don't know why this country pays for divorces????

This case is clearly not about a medical condition. This case is clearly not about one party "having a headache" every now and again. This case is not about freezing out a spouse for a few days, weeks or even months because they've done something that makes the other spouse not want to touch them for a while. And this case in no way has application toward the status of marital rape for anyone with an ounce of common sense. If, indeed, for 2 decades, that's 20+ years, he refused to have relations with his wife and did not take steps toward freeing her from the marriage, then there is a serious issue there and a breach of contract (as unsavory as it is to think of marriage that way).There is no doubt No means No in the marital bed as elsewhere, but this was taken to such an extreme that it is a different situation altogether. It is not about forcing a spouse to have relations against their will. It is about failing to fulfill the terms of a marriage contract for a very, very long time. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe she shouldn't have won. I don't know. I'm not trying to debate the merits of the case. I do, however, feel that equating it with rape is going too far beyond the bounds of this particular case.

Peel-Layer, your sexism is showing. It is not a "woman's job" to make sure her husband is taken care of. How 1950s of you! It is no less a man's job to see that his wife is taken care of -- whatever that means to her. Sometimes, that means respecting her desires or lack thereof occassionally. But again -- such situations have no bearing on this 20+ year refusal. Different situation.

And for all you guys posting on here about how unfair this is -- if the roles were reversed and the woman had to pay up, I've no doubt you'd all be crowing about how the b*tch got what she deserved.

It's a two way street. They are supposed to take care of each other.

Yeah probably about 50lbs more.

What grade are you guys in? Just Sayin'.

Wowza I get your point but Toosano has a point buried in the tacky humor.

What did the woman look like? Did she take care of herself or did she put on a 100 lbs after the wedding? No one is perfect but perhaps there was a complete loss of attraction. The real question is why did she wait that long to complain, if she wasn't happy she should have ended it much much sooner. She sounds like a bitter woman and he sounds like an insensitive dolt.

The real question to me is why did HE choose to stay in the marriage if in fact she "put on 100 lbs after the wedding"?

It works both ways.

It may be none of the above. I'm just saying. Was something about her repulsive that turned the guy off? Let's see this woman so we can eliminate that thought, lol.

He could have put on 200# and too damn lazy to have sex.

That, too!

Wish I would of come up with that one. Worthless attorney-worthless husband.

They made him pay the court cost and legal fees ($14k)I read this somewhere else about this same couple.

It's really about breach of contract, for either sex. Sex is the fundamental part of the marrage contract.

Yeah? That should result in some more interesting case law. Like, what is the common law standard of performance? Once a day? Once a week? Is there an orgasm percentage requirement? Do faked orgasms count? For that matter, must the orgasm be caused by penetration? If so, where?

I really, really don't think the law is going to look at this as a contract issue. And, I really, really don't think most of us would want them to do so.

It's really about breach of contract, for either sex. Sex is the fundamental part of the marrage contract.

Yeah? That should result in some more interesting case law. Like, what is the common law standard of performance? Once a day? Once a week? Is there an orgasm percentage requirement? Do faked orgasms count? For that matter, must the orgasm be caused by penetration? If so, where?

I really, really don't think the law is going to look at this as a contract issue. And, I really, really don't think most of us would want them to do so.

(Sorry, all. I didn't post twice - not sure what happened there.)

Only if you married for a reason other than love.

Tabi1966,

Sorry to hear about this. Do you mind sharing what his problem was? Sounds rather odd, to say the least.

Hey Jon, no after 20 yrs of friendship before & after the divorce he dropped it on me. He lives in another state with his lady & we would talk every few months. I called him one day to say hey & he sounded kind of distant & cold. Very unlike him. I ask him how things are going that kinda stuff. He drops on me that he was watching an episode of Dr. OZ & the topic was about problems like his (no interest in sex at all). So he said he saw the Dr. & "flipped the switch that didn't work" ???? (not a pill I asked) Nothing else. Then says I've moved on. I was cluess. The person that always was my buddy said see ya! No reason & no explanation on why I went without but now he's fixed. Sorry, for the time I put into that relationship without beeotching I felt I was due an answer.

So I am sorry "flip of the switch is all I have as info.

I think it's very sad you would divorce your "best friend" because he was unable to have sex. Can't you be creative or deal with your "needs" on your own? There are way more important things in a marriage. There are also more important things than being a size 4, such as commitment and real love, and that's probably what he's found with his new mate. The size she wears is irrelevant. The fact that she loves him and wants to be with him just as he is is what's important.

redmoth that was a deep and correct viewpoint.

Tabbi, i think it is possible your guy is still not working-flip the switch and you bought that line of crap? Perhaps his big women is ok with no sex and he has no desire to tell you that hes ok with little to no sex. The subject may be embarrassing for him? Telling you all is well may be a front. Move on.

So I am sorry "flip of the switch is all I have as info.

Wow. That just sucks. I'm sure you have no closure, and for that, I'm sorry.

Hope you find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!

You must be a woman to say the size she wears is irrelevant. I have yet to see a man say something like that on here. Every health blog I see, some guy is on there talking about women getting older, fatter, and disgusting. Somehow I doubt those same guys are at high school weight with all their hair. I am actually starting to think that women age much better than men.

Camille I will tell you flat out, I am married to my best friend. I have maintained a healthy weight of 200# at 6'5". My wife who is my best friend has increased in 3 pant sizes since we have married and I find her as sexy now as I did then. In noway would I do away with her because of her weight. We are becoming older she added on weight, I have lost my hair so it all equals out. Even though she is bigger she still wears clothing that looks great on her. She realizes she isn't built for the skinny jeans. So remember if they truely love you they are gonna be there with you.

Forget it Peg, I checked the calendar and it's not our anniversary, so we're not going upstairs.

That show had some classic lines................

That's what I was thinking. This woman basically went to court to have herself officially declared a whore.

Nailed it, Charlie!

I'm sure he would of known that BEFORE he married her-the Judge isn't stupid!

She did divorce him the judge made him pay the cost of the divorce. Who do you think should pay?

Excellent point! It's to the point where I can hardly allow my kids to watch TV at all, and I'm pretty tired of it myself. Even "prime time" shows seem centered on sex. (The latest Fran Drescher show was pretty much the last straw; we don't even watch network TV any more.) Sex is great, but there are lots of other things in life.

Get real!!

Gays want to marry for many real reasons. Imagine being told that while your spouse is dying in a hospital bed that you have no legal rights to make decisions on their behalf and/or can't see them in their final hours....

Reading stories like this makes me wonder how anyone can make the argument that letting gays get married is going to destroy the institution of marriage. You heteros are doing well enough on your own.

And, to clarify my point, reading stories like this makes me wonder why gays would want to bother.