I am extremely bored in bed now with my husband. We have been together 13 years now, and sex was once very hot and frequent. It's not the frequency that annoys me really, its the lack of attention I get. I know it isn't gonna be that intense and passionate experience it was once, I realize that does pass and a more mature love erupts, but geeze I'd rather sleep now. I have tried to talk to him about this for years now..it has steadily gotton worse. He used to spend time touching, talking, looking at me and telling me how I make him feel. But thats all in the past. He is just defensive now when I bring it up. I have pretty much given up now. My own passion has dwindled now due to this. He is making me feel old and neglected. I love him dearly and he is such a good man, so kind, and caring and I don't want to lose him, but I need more. Most of the year I just go along as usual and make the best of things, but once or twice a year I feel so utterly depressed and frustrated about the situation I just want to cry, scream and shake him. He has forgotton what romance is, has forgotton what forplay is ( was never great at that tho) has forgotton how he was. Truth be told..I'm forgetting how he was and that scares me. I am seeing a wonderful and good man who is my very best friend. I am losing myself as well. Things we used to do would now seem so foreign and unnatural. I used to tell him in the beginning that I didn't want to turn into the couple who forget to be lovers. He agreed that it needed work at all times. We said we'd always keep it fresh and stay on the same page. But it has all disappeared over the years. We have sex usually on a Saturday night.. and from start to finish maybe 15-20 minutes tops. It just sucks sometimes to think about it. And the worst part is he can't see it, he says he knows me well, but apparently he can't see the hurt in these once sparkling eyes. Do I want to have an affair with a guy and feel that passion and lust...YES.....will I ...NO.... its not worth it. I made a promise and I keep them. But I'm angry with him, and I blame him and I am afraid I will lose my loving feeling and then we will be destroyed. For me... I get to a place and I walk away. I see no chance of solving the problem or situation, and you can't do it alone, so I just find it best to make a break rather than stay with something that depresses you. I'm sorry but lighting a candle does not do it for me. Making dinner for me on a Saturday night after I mention it does not do it for me. I have to plan everything. he has never even planned anything for our anniversary..I do it all. He also has an aversion to french kissing..yes thats right.. its true. That was so close to a deal breaker for me!!! I actually had to show him an article that said it was the ONLY way to kiss. So.... maybe 3 times a month he sneaks me a tongue...very short, very strained, awkward. Thats what every woman wants... to feel like her husband is doing something she really wants because he has to! Anyway. just needed to get this out I guess..life goes on and things will be as they are meant to be in the end.