Although, as she pointed out she felt ugly and isolated. When no one else seems to want you, sometimes it is easy to convince yourself that this must be the only thing you are good enough for. Especially when you have suffered a crushing blow to your self-esteem.

I hope she gets her life back on track and has a better sense of self after the cosmetic work she received. (He beat her again? Wow. I'll bet she didn't see THAT coming.) Glad she is out of the relationship and I hope he is roasting over a large, hot flame right now.

The great smile will help. But due to her lack of confidence, she is now blind in one eye. It sounds like she also needs counseling to get over her addiction to bums.

BTW, the article did not say what happened to her abuser. I hope is is put away for good. If not, she would probably be tempted to take him back because he is "so sorry".

I hope someone steps up and sponsors some therapy for the kids.

What is up with all the victim blaming? The only person responsible for abuse is the abuser. Comments like these are what keeps abuse victims in isolation.

No one's blaming her for the entire scenario, but she does have some fault in this because she took back someone who seriously abused her. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

If she hadn't taken him back, she'd have gotten dental work AND she would still have both eyes.

And any kids around will be strongly influenced by what they've seen growing up.

Oh, wait...she DID just win the lottery. I wonder how many kids she has who are aware that she was abused.

How exactly did she win the lottery? And, why would you assume she has children? What a horribly insensitive and sanctimonious post.

If she hadn't taken him back, she'd have gotten dental work AND she would still have both eyes.

Hindsight's always 20/20 . . . even for the one-eyed.

I did not assume she had children; I wondered how many children she has. Zero could be the number. (And how is that insensitive to ask if a woman her age has children??) She 'won the lottery' by having her teeth fixed at no cost to her. My dental issues cost thousands of dollars to fix and I paid for it myself, as other posters on here have.

Don't worry Lizzie we all realize that you're a bigot.Where in this article are children even mentioned? Are you trying to say that all abused Black women have a bunch of kids? Does the same apply to abused white women?It's people like you who go around assuming things that cause misunderstandings and confusion.

There's a lot of jumping to conclusions about Lizzie63's post. The sad reality is that children exposed to abuse emulate the behavior - either as abusers or victims. When you hear of chronic abuse, the first thing that comes to mind is, "Are there any children involved?" - for that exact reason.

She never suggested that battered women were more likely to have children or even lots of children, or to be black. Since the vast majority of women of all races and situations DO have children, there's nothing inherently insulting about it. Must we rush to label someone as racist or bigot when they dare to bring up points the article didn't address?

What a great program.....may the woman featured be hired for a job.

The article said that she was ashamed and didn't smile. She's grinning in the "before" photo as though she had just won the lottery. Oh, wait...she DID just win the lottery

My 1st throught about the photo on the left could have been taken by the program as her "before" photo. There's a dentist in my area who does before & after photos as part of his advertising.

Many people who are abused for long enough are no longer able to tell reality from what the abuser's made them believe. They literally no longer see themselves as being lovable, having worth, or anything like that.

It makes no sense to those who haven't been abused. But if abusers started hitting right from the start instead of spending a long time manipulating and breaking their partner down, that person would probably leave much, much sooner.

Anyway, the longer the abuse, the more distorted your worldview becomes.

Bethany

I'm so glad that you escaped the DV situation that you were in.
People who have not studied this problem have no clue how difficult it is for an abused women to overcome the obstacles that abuse puts into their paths.

Obviously eh?

Don't worry Lizzie we all realize that you're a bigot.Where in this article are children even mentioned? Are you trying to say that all abused Black women have a bunch of kids?

That's exactly what Lizzie just stated...

"She 'won the lottery' by having her teeth fixed at no cost to her. My dental issues cost thousands of dollars to fix and I paid for it myself, as other posters on here have."

Why not just be happy that she got help? There's an underlying feeling of resentment in your posts. I'll never understand people who are upset at the good fortune of others.

+1. my GF had simular abuse situation with her children's father.

and yes, its nice to read about some good as opposed to sh*tty stories that just you feel so 'good'... derp...

Give the GOP some time, they will make it a crime to help anyone in need. Unless it is unborn.

So true. I'm sure that the smoke is coming out of their ears as we type. Helping others who are in need is totally against everything that they are taught and believe.

LOL Leave it to a couple of true morons to take a story about abused women and turn it into a political bash-fest.

All because people who do well for themselves don't want to give you open acess to their bank accounts.

And no, I am not a republican, conservative, or member of the 'right'.

(stating this to avoid the knee jerk reaction of morons to automatically assume someone who despises democrats/socialists must be affiliated with the opposing party)

Beautiful story. She looks beautiful and I am sure it reflects in her spirit to survive and move past the ugly stigma of domestic violence. Smile lady, smile.

You spoke too soon.

E Hall--Thank you for your kind comment--NO ONE knows.

I am so tired of hearing how people can judge someone who is in this situation. They have no idea what hell it is and how difficult it is to leave.

As for the lady who continues to say "she won the lottery" because there was a program set up for just this type of service. BULLSH!T!! I suppose that this is socialism to you. Yet -- you all trype on about how individuals are supposed to look for help from just such types instead of the government! FU@K I am getting tired of the "talking out of both sides of their mouths!!!"

It's called hypocrisy by most but to the baggers it's called a personality trait.

She did "win the lottery" so to speak, and good for her!

As for not understanding how hard it is to leave an abuser, I must say, I really don't get it. Just from a pain perspective. You'd have to have some serious pain tolerance to live with physical abuse. I couldn't do it. I'd be running out of there if he so much as made me stub my toe!

it is called IGNORANCE, Chris......."teabaggers"??? GROW UP!

Teabaggers is the moniker they gave themselves.

"Tea partiers" is the moniker they gave themselves.

Just because people don't want medical and other services coming out of tax monies, does not mean they oppose private charities. Most conservatives actually strongly support many private efforts to help others. Let's leave the phony hateful politics out of this and rejoice that this lady has had her smile restored. This has nothing to do with politics, left or right, it has to do with simply helping women in very difficult situations put their lives back together. I'm sure the dentists participating in this are doing it out of caring and compassion, and their politics have absolutely nothing to do with this.

It is a shame that the first time she was free of her abuser, when he was sent to jail, that she did not get the help she needed, emotional and physical, that would have given her the strength to stay away from her abuser when he got out.

I co-sign with you

I'll go ahead and beat them to the punchline, Rob:

It's Obama's fault.....NOT.

Y'all obviously missed "funnystuff" at 2.2 meh.

I've seen how hard it can be to leave an abuser especially the psychos that track you down. I'm very happy for this woman I hope she's on a good path now.

I do have to ask... out of genuine curiosity. Why didn't you sue the guy? Was he without assets? I mean, if you could even extract a little out of him (and I would think you are certainly entitled), that could have alleviated the financial burden on yourself, or the wait time. Wouldn't it?

JLM when you finally get out of an abusive relationship you just want OUT, especially if they're one of those that will try to hunt you down, a lot of times women have to move away and go into hiding to stay safe.

Even winning a lawsuit (presuming you can afford to hire an attorney and pay court filing fees) does not guarantee a payout. 10 years ago family law lawyers wouldn't even take a case without a $3500 retainer. It's more like $5k now.

Even then, going bankrupt earning a ruling can't force anyone to actually pay, and the courts and police won't or can't enforce it. I know.

What makes you think that this abuser has wages to garnish? Or is in a business that would do that?

I agree with you. But first of all, I would like to see damages to be paid to this lady. She is completely blind in one eye. That means she has no depth perception for the rest of her life. She also has artificial teeth and went through great suffering (emotional and physical). After she receives adequate compensation - THEN he should be required to compensate the charity.

Great organization BTW. Fabulous work.

That's what I was wondering. Perhaps it's that pesky dichotomy that such people either have too little money/assets to be worth suing, or have so much that they can afford a formidable defense.

The "delusion" that men own women by dint of a marriage certificate isn't perpetrated by individuals, but by religious idealism. With the exception of some Far Eastern sects, ALL major religions of the world say that the woman is property of the man once they are married.

I've never understood why the GLBTQ community is so hot to get married when the institution of marriage is so fv<ked.

I'm happy for you. Thank you for sharing your story.

Like you, I similarly met the "everything" guy. It took awhile to realize that the manipulations of "I'm sorry, but it was your fault" and the family "duty" to be a good wife and not a dissapointment, and the "marriage is hard" speeches, andyes, I admit, I should have left long before I did.

Like you, I now have a better life. I hope one day this type of story, behavior, and discussion will be a permanent thing of the past. The best to you, Teach, nancyp, Oh-Pa-leaze, and the rest who are willing to share their strength and their stories.

Craig, I stated that i was not blaming the victim. I was only making the statement that, based upon personal observation, some people cannot be helped. Women that continually go back to men that take out their frustrations with the world on them TOP that list. You sympathize greatly at first. You provide financial help, you give them a place to stay, you do whatever you can to get them on their feet. And when they do start to get things together, Mr. Bully-Boy shows up again and she takes him back, with predictable results. Then it starts over again. And, YES, after you've seen the same scenerio a few times you come to realize that some women are simply "broken". And you're not as eager to invest time, money and resources trying to help them anymore knowing it will all be wasted when she inevitably goes back to her abuser or someone new, but just as bad.

jbird you are correct. There are those who cannot be helped. They can't be helped until they want to be helped.

That is not meant in a bad way. That is just how it is. Women like these are broken. A lot of them do eventually come around but it can be a long, painful, wait for family members who start to feel both helpless to get them out and frustrated when every effort to help turns out to be futile because she goes back.

It is hard to understand what is going on inside an abused woman's mind when she continues to go back and no one can really get it unless they have been there. But it is wrong to disregard how families and friends feel when they too suffer because they have to watch the person they love repeat this process.

I can totally understand where jbird is coming from. I have been on both sides of this.

JBird

As I understand, the average abused woman returns to her abuser four times. Leaving takes a lot of preparation: Emotional, financial, practical. The good news is that on average, after four false attempts, more than half succeed in getting on with their lives.

Many women do not leave their abusers because of financial control, fear, destroyed self-esteem, and worst of all, fear the abuser will try for and get custody of the children, or even the very believable threat that he will kidnap the kids if he doesn't get custody. Remember, abusers do not usually appear as abusers to everyone else, just their wife/girlfriend and children. Women often find themselves in a position of no one believing them until severe physical injury occurs.

Well, by considering all the perks you are assuming, the employer has just increased the "cost" of that employee by approximately $6,000/year. The additional $6,000 may just cause the employer to decide he/she cannot afford an additional employee, thus one job down the drain.

I don't necessarily disagree with you, but there are two sides to the issue.

"perks" are the wrong way of looking at things. These need to be considered necessities.

Unfortunately, the whole financial structure of this nation has been so muddled up, it's going to take some pretty radical legislation to correct it. I believe that it can be done, but at this point, I'm afraid there's going to need to be bloodshed before we'll be able to swing things back around.

People did you read the story -- she is unemployed and was looking for employment when she came across a program that would be happy to help her with out judging her--something from the sounds of it you two cant do!!!

BethanyB - Before you to throwing accusations that I can't read did you read the part were this happened more than a decade ago? Has she been out of work this long?

No--she has had the "stigma" this long--and I can almost guarantee she has had low paying minimum wage jobs during this time 'cuz employers tend to "look down" upon unattractive women. I know 'cuz I had the same "stigma" for 13 years -- up until I got the help I needed and now will smile and have more self - esteem.

Sometimes I wish things would be a perfect as some of these commentors would like - but - reality is NOT. Judging people because of a "hard life" is really unchristian!

Bethany, I'm sorry to hear your plight but if that's what you thought i said in my message, you definitely misjudged my statement. I don't care if you're cleaning bathrooms, a checker at walmart, a ditch digger or a strawberry picker, if you do the time, you should be getting paid a living wage for it. And if this woman (or you for that matter) would have been treated fairly, she would have been able to get her mouth fixed a long time ago.

OMG-what country do you live in??

As for mistaking you comment as judgement - I apologize. However--Dental work is not cheap and very few employers offer it at any price. I at least had a "flipper" (temporary tooth to last 3 weeks) However, could not afford the final fix. Only after I married a wonderful man did I have the $$ to cover replacing the tooth.

And really -- employers DO look down on unattractive women. No matter where you are from.

Actually, most employers' dental plans have pre-existing condition restrictions, just as health plans. In addition, they have annual coverage caps, sometimes as low as $1200 -- meaning any costs over that amount -- no matter what the service is -- is out of your pocket. So even if she had worked for an employer that provided dental insurance, having $6000 worth of repair work done probably would not have been covered by the plan.

Susan is right. Dental insurers call it a "missing tooth" clause - if the tooth was missing when the insurance became active, the insurance won't pay for replacement. Not all companies have this as part of their contract, but many do.

And the $1200 maximum (I've seen as low as $750) wouldn't cover half the cost of the bridge.