That sucks you have to deal with all those restrictions. Sounds like you've figured out how to handle it gracefully with your friends. I would have no problem with my friends coming after dinner since the point is to spend time together.

Haggi, that is an excellent way to spend time with your friends instead of a meal. That way they don't have to stress over what to fix for you, and you don't have to stress over allergy triggers.

I think a lot of Americans would benefit from emulating your behaviour. It's ok to socialize without food in front of you!

Haggi, that's a great way to deal with invitations for dinner (or any other meal) involving food when you have lots of allergies. I have no food allergies, but when I get together with people, sure, the food is nice, but what I really want is the time with my friends. I can eat by myself at home. I'd have no problem with your solution whatsoever.

A friend of mine has a child with a serious peanut allergy and she CANNOT convince her MIL that means he can't eat peanut butter. As much trouble as it causes for family relations, after a couple of trips to the ER with the kid in anaphylactic shock, she doesn't allow MIL to ever be alone with him.

Some people are just idiots or are absolutely convinced that there's no such thing as a food allergy. I have to deal with it with the people that refuse to believe I'm allergic to seafood and mangoes and try to sneal them into things, then lie about it. I still have the horrors about mango chutney....

Well, if you want to get down to brass tacks, peanuts are not nuts. They're legumes. Maybe your client thought your cousin was just allergic to tree nuts. It could have been stupidity, but it also could have been an honest mistake.

Megidolaon, I thought the same thing. We once had a guest come into our restaurant and tell us that she was allergic to dairy. We made sure that there wasn't any cream, milk, butter, cheese, whey, or other casein containing products in her dish only to have that guest tell us AFTER we served them that we had, indeed, served her dairy products as the guest had had an allergic reaction. Turns out, there were eggs in what she had eaten. For some reason, she considered eggs to be a dairy product.

Terelyn, are you allergic to Penicillin too? Many people with mango allergies are allergic to penicillin, and visa versa.

There are plenty of people who are allergic to peanuts, but not allergic to tree (or true) nuts.

And there are plenty of people who are allergic to tree nuts, or even just one or two types of tree nuts, and not allergic to peanuts.

So, while I know I am going to ask "Are there any tree nuts or peanuts in this?" if I need something "nut free", the person was technically correct.

The hairdresser should learn for her own safety that biologically peanuts are not nuts.

Eggs, however, are never considered a dairy allergen. Legally, a dairy allergen has some sort of milk protein in it. An egg allergen is always described as "egg", no matter what type of egg protein you are allergic to.

I think two major things have changed.

- Children aren't allowed to play outside anymore (for Heaven's sake, they could scrape a knee!), and they're raised in overly-sterile environments. Their immune systems need practice to develop, and when they don't have germs in their environment, they can mistake ordinary food products for intruders.

- Peanuts (and food in general, which is one of the reasons I wonder about the rise in food allergies in general) have been genetically-modified. Peanuts today aren't the same as peanuts 100 (or even 50) years ago. I wonder about the effects of genetically-modified food on our bodies.

Neither of these theories have been confirmed, but they're just ideas of mine.

I'm gluten intolerant and one thing I've learned about what I have is that the rate of diagnosis has gone up, partly because the doctors know what to look for, but also because the wheat and other gluten-containing grains have increased their gluten concentrations over the last fifty years, which means there are more people who cannot digest them then there might possibly have been before. Also, I think the internet allows people from disparate parts of the country to link before, when in the pre-internet days you only knew of people who had it when you knew them personally.

Terelyn, it seems you are one of the few people with allergies (at least that I know!) that is willing to take responsibility for your allergies. I run a contracting agency that includes fieldwork, and I provide food for my crew. I have a couple of people with allergies (sulfates/sulfites and milk allergy) that will get upset if I "forget" and provide food that has the forbidden ingredients. I have gotten into the habit of shopping for hours at times to find foods they can eat, but still would get criticized if I overlooked something. I finally got tired of being responsible for their allergies and spending extra money from my limited budget, and told my crew that I would provide the basics, and if they had allergies or other restrictions that they were welcome to bring additional food. I still try to make sure even the basics are as allergy-free as possible.

I know this makes me sound rather intolerant, but these are also the same people that complain about just about everything--the apples are not organic, the bananas aren't quite ripe enough, the jam has too much sugar. I lost my sympathy for the person with milk allergies after I heard him comment about the peanut butter our boss bought (Jif, from his own money!) and call it "s**t" peanut butter because it had corn syrup. The boss didn't deserve that!

Catje,

I'm also someone who tries to take responsibility for her own allergies (shellfish).

However, you are setting yourself up for problems if you choose to provide food to employees without taking allergies into consideration.

Allergies are now covered under the looser definition used in the Americans with Disabilities act. Since providing a milk free food item is really not a hardship to you (it really shouldn't take too long to find something), someone could easily sue you for failure to accommodate.

At my old job, we would often purchase catered meals when we would do seminars. As I was the only employee (the rest eating would be our customers), you would think it would be easy to not serve something with shellfish.

Apparently, people just don't care if their instruction keels over after lunch, because I went to get my catered meal, and it had oyster sauce in it (I am allergic to bivalves as well as crustaceans). Luckily, I always ask, and I don't eat if we can't tell for sure.

It amazed me how inconsiderate some people can be when ordering food for others.

If we were doing a seminar in NYC during a Jewish holiday, I would make sure that at least one entree choice was not pork. What did they serve? Ham and meatloaf made with pork.

I still try to make sure even the basics are as allergy-free as possible.

I have thought about that too, that is why (as stated above) I do make sure that I try not to include foods that these people are allergic to.

The problem is that I have only found one kind of bread in my local stores that is sulfite free, and it costs a lot more than a regular loaf of bread.Same with finding foods that are milk free (and not just milk protein, but all milk products--casein, whey, butter, etc.). Most margarine has some sort of milk in it, same with bread. They are hard to find and cost a lot. So I'm spending extra on two people out of a crew of six. In this case, how can I make it fair for all, even those without allergies? I've considered providing a per diem instead, so each person can buy their own food, but sometimes it is simply more efficient and less expensive to buy in bulk (Costco).

If you have any suggestions, I would sure like to hear them!

Perhaps it may be worth the expense to hire a dietician for a day (if you are part of a larger corporation, they may have the resources to get one through employee assistance, for example).

Maybe then you could all sit down together and find a rotating menu of 5 or so dishes that make everyone happy.

I'm not too familiar with sulfite allergies (as they are not true allergies, but rather sensitivities).

But, have you looked at something like pasta? It's cheap and good (unless you have a wheat allergy person).

You can easily serve it with a salad and dry bread (perhaps serve garlicy margarine on the side).

Depending on how sensitive your employees are (like, can they be in the same room as milk? Most people can), you don't necessarily have to be completely allergy-free, just very mindful of cross-contamination.

Good luck!

It's nice to see people who care enough to both feed their employees and be mindful of their food allergy needs.

It's true that Celiac isn't technically an allergy, but how else do you explain it to someone who doesn't care and doesn't know anything about the disease? Most people at least understand what an allergy is. When people ask why I can't have wheat should I tell them "It makes my intestines shrivel up"? The effects of even a tiny bit of wheat on a Celiac are just as bad as any allergy, although the consequence may not be immediate. I've found that when I say, "I'm not actually allergic, I'm Celiac," People tend to blow it off and not take me seriously, since it's "not an allergy." You're absolutely correct that there needs to be more education on these issues. There are so many ignorant people that wouldn't think twice about putting a dangerous food in yours or my food simply because they don't understand.

Yeah, celiac is kind of hard to say "don't say allergy' to, especially since wheat/gluten can do so much damage.

My main beef is with people who say they are allergic when they just don't like something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthorexia