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- Parents: Are you OK with your newborn's blood samples being used in scientific studies?
- Do you worry about inheriting your mother's body?
- What do you think of couples who refer to themselves as 'we'?
- Would you get debarking surgery for your dog if you faced eviction?
- What, if any, cosmetic surgery have you had done?
This is a very interesting article... when I told some of the women in my office that my wife and I were hoping for a son, they made me feel like a sexist and talked about my wife as if she were a traitor to the pink code of male hatred. This story taught that if I'm a sexist a for wanting a son, as one female co-worker flat out said to me... then women are also sexist for wanting daughters.
And yes, I love my daughter deeply and with all my heart.... I pity anyone who hurts her, for they will have me to deal with. That being said, I really wish I had a son.
Jim-254362
I don't know how old you are or how long you and your wife have been together (she sounds like the exception to the rule) - most women view men only as sperm banks and once they have that baby; they turn into "black widows". And ladies, I've have had this confirmed by other women.
Are you serious?! What planet are you on? You actually said "Most woman view men as sperm banks" That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.. They have sperm banks. Hopefully, no one is going to yours...
Keep trying sir.
Hite a feminist nerve honey...Dumb fits you as you missed the point entirely. Go back to NOW to ponder the deeper meaning of my comment - oh never mind -- my point is women only want men to father children. And incidently natural is more fun than what you are refering to. A less frigid woman would know that.
kaatskillmts - to expand on that - men viewed as sperm banks, if you mean there is a general loss of interest in men once the baby arrives, I can TOTALLY relate! I pretty much lost interest in my man for about the first year of my children's lives. It was really hard to get back into the grove of peeling myself away from my babies and find time to be with him. I felt like I was cheating on my kids, is that strange? Time passed and so did those feelings... Now I find myself trying (at times) to get away from my kiddo's! I don't think this makes me anything beyond normal...?
Unfortunately, I have to agree. And I'm sure its not 100%, but it is a lot of them.
NorthenRed
No it doesn't make you anything beyond normal. From your post you sound like a very intelligent and "together" lady. All the best to you.
I married my husband because I adore him, not because I needed a "sperm bank." In fact, when we got married, he wanted kids and I didn't. If we'd never had children, I'd still adore him. The fact that he's an awesome father was icing on the cake for me.
And that period after a baby is born when women appear to "lose interest" in their husbands is more often simple, flat-out exhaustion. Have you ever tried caring for a newborn through the night? When couples start out with a good relationship, that time of "disinterest" passes quickly enough.
I'm sure there are some selfish women who just want to get married in order to have kids -- there are morons around every corner, after all. But if women only view men as "sperm banks," how do you explain the countless cases of mothers putting the interests of their abusive boyfriends over the welfare of their children? The majority of fatal child abuse cases in this country in the past year involved boyfriends who killed their girlfriends' biological children. And the moms often cover up for their killer boyfriends. Sounds to me like those women don't care about their kids and view their men as more than just "sperm banks."
It's sad that someone could be so bitter as to make such a ridiculous blanket statement.
1) If you stay in an abusive relatinship that is not "love" and, you are right, don't care about their children.
2) how do you explain the countless cases of mothers putting the interests of their abusive boyfriends over the welfare of their children? Major loss of perspective and reason.
3) My wife abused her children (which she claimed she lovede more than life itself but her treatment of them proved otherwise - today, 20 years later they will not talk to her or have anything to do with her). So, yeah, I find it hard to believe woman are all they claim they are. In fairness, I know many women that are great moms and wifes.
Ewwww. I don't. I love my husband, but the last thing I want is any children. Silly sexist assumption that all women can't wait to breed.
I didn't say that....you translated it that way to make youself sound superior. I was speaking of those that do. You sound a tad sexist yourself - I bet you do love your husband - on your terms..
Wow Katskill, I'm not sure if you are the product of inbreeding or just were dropped on your head as a child. More likely you are just a troll trying to get a reaction. I am happily married and have never once thought of my husband as a "sperm bank". We cannot have children (his limitation) and we were both well aware that kids were not part of the deal before we married - yet we could not wait to be married and are like kids in a candy store over being married. Your point, as you put it, that women only want to marry a man to father a child is so absurd it makes me shake my head in disbelief. Only a very very small minority of women want to marry a man for the sole purpose of having a child. They are the exception - the rest of us "happily married, in love with our husbands, and can't keep our hands off him despite the fact we have a gaggle of kids" women are the rule. There is no need to marry the man to have his child in today's age because there is no longer a stigma for having a child out of wedlock. So, if a woman's goal is to have the baby, not the man, then why on earth would she want to marry him? It sounds like you have had some very bitter experiences and that the women you claim to know are simply just not interested in having sex with you - probably with good reason.
Quit trolling, kaatskillmts. Don't post like a misogynist. You're suspended for a day for violating #1 and #5 of the Code of Honor.
Liberal in Favor...you suggest that boyfriends are the major cause for child fatalities. By almost a 20-1 ratio, PARENTS are responsible, not boyfriends, neighbors, strangers, clergy, etc. In addition, 60% of the cases are perpetrated by women. Your stats are wrong and only go to fuel the unjust stereotype that men are more dangerous to children than women.
Here is 2007...and I can't imagine we've done a 4000% change over the past 2 years:
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm07/table5_4.htm
I realize this may be hard to stomach because of how much we want to believe women are not as violent as men. But the reality is that the media hypes the politically correct, yet incorrect statistics that men are the only domestic abusers, even though recent studies have proven what many of us have witnessed in real life, that without a doubt, women are JUST as abusive, if not more so, than men...just not big enough usually to injure without a weapon. And, to add insult to injury, the media also tries equally as hard to HIDE the politically incorrect fact women abuse children more than men do. It's all good...should come out of the political churn bucket in the next 500 years. Until then, we'll just do the faithful chant "women and children!" and pretend to help them by misinforming the public about what is really happening. Won't actually help any women or children, and actually may end up hurting them, but a lot of politicians will get elected on it.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm07/table5_1.htm
For domestic abuse info, you can use the following link to Wikipedia, or Google it yourself for hundreds of links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence
In my mind, I always think 1 boy & 1 girl are perfect. I was so excited to have my first boy, and I hope to have 2nd girl. Then in my 2nd pregnancy, I have twin boys! I admit that I was a little disappointed because I feel like nobody will share anything with me in the future. My husband is happy because there are 3 boys who will inherit his guy stuff & may share this hobby. Yep, back of my mind...I wish it could be a girl but I'm still in love with 3 boys. I tell myself that I am a queen bee in the family! ;p
I have three sons......so far two are married and I now have my two daughters!! I raised my sons right and taught them the best I could and they married women much like me...and both girls have become good friends to me. One learns the right way to be a good mother in law and your son will share his life and wife.... it's a blast!
We also have three sons. I originally wanted two children, but my sterilization procedure was only guaranteed to be 99.98% effective after all! It took us all of the pregnancy (the last two are 14 months apart) and a couple of weeks after his birth to become accustomed to the idea of a third child, but he truly is a blessing. Yes, there are times when money is tight and things are hectic and we think, "wow, three kids," but we would not change anything. I love my boys!
Hey don't get discouraged i got my girl the 4th time, but we didn't keep trying to get one, it just happened. We loved our 3 boys and had a blast with them, still do. Our daughter just sweetened the pot, but pink dresses were out of the question with her: she was a tomboy from the word go and her mission in life was to keep up with he boys.
As for men being only sperm banks, that is just ignorance. My husband and I never planned for children, we just didn't know that every form of birth control known to man would fail us.
wow we all like to think about having the one son and one daughter " the oerfect balance" i have have 4 healthy well adjusted sometimes get into trouble children and i am the luckliest person on earth .
My husband and I had always said we wanted two children. What a surprise to find out we were expecting twins (my first pregnancy)! I really was hoping for the boy/girl twins, instead at the BIG ultrasound, we found out that we were having two boys. I felt dissappointed for about 5 minutes. These were going to be my only two children and I really had wanted one of each. Now, 3 almost 4 years later, I can not imagine being anything but a mom to two boys.
This article hits close to home. I am currently just under 28 weeks pregnant - we found out the gender at 19 weeks. For those first 18 weeks, I just knew it was a girl. We, too, had looked into trying to different methods and were hoping for a girl since my husband has four boys from his first marriage. Because I was so sure, I was absolutely shocked when the doctor said the word 'boy.' I was also pretty sad because of all the dreams that I had in my head, dreams of the moments we'd spend doing things together as mother and daughter. But after having a good talk with my husband, I realized where my feelings were coming from and just like that, they were gone. Now I can't wait to meet my little man!
That being said, I do know how real those feelings are and that it doesn't mean you are a bad parent or that you don't want that child. I think it just means that you have to adjust your way of thinking to make room for other possibilities.
I can definitely understand your feelings of disappointment....I mean come on...5 boys, yikes! We have 4 boys, and would probably have another if we were guaranteed it would be a girl. I just can't imagine a 5th boy....they require way too much energy to keep up with. Not to mention, they fight (ruff house) all the time. Of course I wouldn't trade my boys for anything in the world....I love them all more than life itself. I just really wanted to experience raising a sweet little girl like my niece.....standing there in her pretty little dress quietly playing with her baby dolls. And in run the boys....knocking her to the ground like a pack of wild animals. We spend the next 20 minutes trying to get her to stop crying. Note to self, girls are very dramatic. ;)
I consider myself be be very fortunate to be the mother of a wonderful daughter and terrific son. But there is a night and day difference in raising different sex children. While boys may rough-house, girls ALWAYS have what they perceive to be a lot of drama in their lives. Girls can be very cruel to each other in their climb to "social success" at school and the hurt can last for a long time. Boys can push and shove each other, call each other a few unsavory names one day and be best buds the next day. Don't let that "pretty little dress" fool you into thinking it is all lollipops and rainbows raising a girl. My daughter is on her way to becoming a doctor and we still have some occasional drama in her life to contend with. Boys are slower to mature so as an 18-yr. old high school senior, my son is finally getting the message that it is time to get serious about his future. Thank goodness. It seemed like that time would never get here. My point is this, parents of only boys, or girls, don't kid yourself into thinking "the grass is greener". Kids of any sex bring their own set of joys and difficulties. Enjoy them all and love them always.
Tabitha, you are blessed beyond measure with your new son and your many step sons. I am the author of ALTERED DREAMS and I wish you nothing but the best with your new baby. HUGS!
I wanted puppies.
Kittens would be nice too!
NICE!
LOL!!
You dirty dog you!
I have two boys. I was told before the oldest was born that I was having a girl. I was happy and we planned for a girl. When the day came and the doctor said, "It's a boy" I said no I was told it was a girl by the ultrasound person! He laughed and said well I have the proof in my hand and he is all boy. I was sad for a minute but after that I was so thakful for that sweet, loving, little man that when the second boy arrived I was so happy it was familiar and I was ready. Now they are both grown and I am so thankful for my boys who love mom and see me everyday. BOYS ARE AWESOME! and I love my nieces very much as well.
The first baby I had was a son, which made my husband and I very happy. Then I had two miscarriages. When I finally had another baby four years later, it was another boy. I was thrilled to have another healthy child whatever the sex, and he is a joy very single day.
A healthy child above all else, exactly!
A healthy, happy child no matter what gender is the greatest gift two people can give one another besides thier own love. At first, I didn't want to have children, but now, I cannot imagine my life without them and it will be very difficult when my last leaves home to start his own life.
My wife and I have had 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. We lost our daughter at birth and our youngst son at age 7.
Not a day goes by that I don't wish they were both with me. I would have loved to have known what it was like to raise a daughter.
Regardless of gender, children are a gift and a commitment, not a commodity. I pity those that will have to learn that the hard way.
USAF Vet:
I'm very sorry for your losses.
I'm not an over emotional guy, but I got a little choked up reading your post. I would be destroyed if I lost my son(or any future children my wife and I might have).
No parent should have to outlive their children.
I hope you and your remaining family members, all have long healthy lives.
My wife wants at least 2 more children. I'll be happy with whatever gender our next child may be, but I hope it's a girl(for my wife to dote on).
Thanks for the wishes AL.
I was destroyed. Utterly broken. But I climbed out of the hole. Too many people depended on me to allow myself to just roll over.
If anything, my experience taught me that you CAN hit rock bottom and recover...mostly. But it also taught me the absolute value of one's children.
The best day of my life was the day that I found out I was having a son. I only have one child. He is awesome. Yes, I am biased. I truly think that boys are much easier than girls. I have made up for not having a daughter by having female dogs. They may have 4 legs, they are all girl! I have best of both genders.
Really.. You compare a Human female to a dog.. You fool. I feel sorry for you. You don't even know how foolish that sounds, I am actually embarresed for you... You should edit that post before it's to late. A DOG... Holy Crap man! I pray you don't ever have a female Allah subhanahoo..
Jeisun, you need to get a life and stop dumping on strangers on the internet.
Jeisun, my guess, is a male. My next guess is this person is childless... I would have been disappointed if any of my boys would have been girls, but I'm sure it would have disappeared quickly as all the talk of the mother-child bond hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd stand over them while they slept and just watch the peaceful look on thier faces and stare in complete awe...such wonderful little people! Making the comments this person made indicates a high level of ignorance, I pitty you Jeisun - you need to get out of your little bubble!
I agree, Ali! There is nothing wrong with what you wrote. Who cares if you were making a comparison?! Jeisun-you've obviously never owned an animal b/c regardless of what you think, there are many similarities between them and humans. We're both mammals. Yeah, she compared apples to oranges, but she didn't compare apples to steaks, so quit talkin' sh!t about someone. You look like a fool for actually name calling someone over their comment.
Unbelievable. I've read some pretty stupid comments here but this one takes the cake. Comparing girls to @!$%#es. And other morons agree. Only someone who hasn't had a girl would make that ridiculous comparison. Do your boys compare to dogs also?
Wow... i feel for your chidren, thats insane.
Since you haven't had any daughters you don't really know what it would be like to raise your own daughter from infancy to adulthood. Your opinion sounds stereotype based. As per the chat about drama and adolescents, there is plenty of chaotic chemistry in the brain of adolescents- male and female. There are a lot of highs a lows for both. Generally girls are more likely to talk it out. Young males are less likely to articulate concerns. This doesn't mean there isn't drama and hurt in their lives that can remain for a long time.
I loved my dogs, male and female, who are gone now. What I remember about them most is their individual personalities and the care, love and the devotion we shared.
My other children. I miss them.
We all have to deal with lives that may not haved turned out the way we planned. I was almost 40 when I had my first child after being told it would never happen. I adore my perfect little girl but still have pangs about what it would be like to have a son or another child of either gender. But I fell lucky that I was able to have a child and accept that this is God's plan for my life. It allows me to give all my maternal love to my daughter and for that I am truly blessed.
I couldn't be happier with the three boys I got! I didn't care one iota that I didn't have a girl. I, too, am the queen bee in the family; the only pink in the house, and I love it. But I do have a granddaughter, and it's fun being a "girl" with her.
Coming from a family who hadn't had a boy born to it since my own father was born, I wasn't just wanting a girl, I was expecting one. When the ultrasound revealed a boy, I did feel a little bit disappointed. When my son was born, though, I realized that I was MEANT to be the mommy of a little boy. I couldn't imagine him being anything other than exactly how he was.
Two years later, during my surprise pregnancy with twins, I was a little disappointed to find out I was having girls. I had been having such a great time with my son, I was hoping for another couple of little boys! But lo and behold, when my daughters were born, they were every bit what I wanted and needed. I may have been temporarily disappointed, but I couldn't imagine my life being any different.
I always thought I wanted a girl. You can dress them up in cute clothes. But then I saw my friends daughters continually challenging them and I remembered that the movie "Mean Girls" was made for a reason, because either you are the mean girl or you are picked on by one.
I ended up with two boys and couldn't be happier. And I get to watch movies like Transformers and not those insipid Barbie things. Plus, I can still buy clothes for my friends' daughters when I feel the urge.
We were first blessed with a daughter and then a son. We are now blessed with 4 grandsons. What a great life. I can't imagine being disappointed with the gender of a child you created and carried to birth and have the amazing opportunity to nuture.
Having a healthy child was the most important thing. Either way a boy or girl it's a blessing. My first child was a boy and after that I couldn't have anymore children.
Very true. Health is always important. I'm sorry you were unable to have more children. :(
For our first child - we didn't care. When we found out it was a healthy girl, that was plenty. When we found out number 2 is a healthy Boy, we couldn't have been happier A complete set!
I'm glad we found out before our daughter was born that she was a girl, because I really wanted a boy (and I'm the wife!) I've never bonded with women well, nor did I have any interest in traditional "girlie" things. But knowing she was a girl helped me prepare myself, and, as it turns out, she is a "mini-me" -- we get along great!
We do have a son now as well via adoption. My husband had to overcome HIS disappointment that we weren't having another girl. But maybe adoption is something those parents who have "too much of a good thing" should consider. That said, adoption isn't for everyone, and we adopted because we wanted another child, not because we wanted a boy.
I feel like those moms that really want the daughters will force them to be way girly-ish...
I truly didn't care, but then my daughter turned out to be 0% girly...she hates pink and never wears dresses or skirts. She likes hunting and gardening. I think many moms force their children into pre-conceived roles.
That is funny about the girly girls. My neice started out 100% girly girl, but now - she's one of the toughest Air Force vets I know (she's straight). I never would have pictured that when she was 5 years old.
I agree about adoption. We had our two kids the other way around from you. After YEARS of trying and frustration, we adopted our oldest, a boy. I had never cared much about gender, and by then we were just so grateful to be parents... Then we had a final surprise, and I gave birth to ... another boy! They have shared a room, toys, and interests, and I feel certain they were meant to be together. Children are a blessing!
Wanted 2 children, a boy and a girl. Had 2 children, a boy and a girl.
But honestly, it would not have mattered to us which sex they were.
Actually, I wanted boys! Girls = drama and I wasn't interested! Got me three fantstic boys that I wouldn't trade for the most well behaved girl in the world! They drive me nuts, constantly fight and break things but you know what? They're my boys! The youngest (4) can't leave the house in the morning with out hugging his brothers (8 & 17) but when we get back home, it's constant melee! LOVE IT! I love them to death and am proud of each one for completely different reasons, BOYS ROCK!!!
Yahoo! good for you. :) I live in boy world too and even though I wanted to parent a daughter, I have to agree, my boys are awesome!
We have two children - one boy and one girl. I know how hard it is for some people to have children, so I'm just happy with what I have. I love them both very much. If they had been two girls or two boys, it wouldn't have mattered much. Girls can play baseball and guys can cook. Who cares?
That's the thing..you have the opportunity to raise both genders. That is what I am missing. I adore my boys, but wanted the opportunity to raise a daughter as well. Those who have both genders, unless they wanted an all one gender family, rarely get gender disappointment. All of us with gender disappointment LOVE our children. That is not the issue. It's the loss of a dream of parenting a dreamed about gender. Obviously, you are doing that. :) People do care. Many of them.