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I think it's definitely sweet and romantic and I am going to start using it today
(except in certain, you know, 'women only' situations...;-))
I use we all the time, it is someone that I am going to spend the rest of my life with, so why not?
This is much ado about nothing. My wife and I drive separate cars, so I refer to the one I drive as "mine." The house we live in, our dogs, and our furniture, are "ours." There aren't very many things don't fall pretty clearly into one category or another. Should I refer to my job as a college math teacher, or my wife's job as an attorney, as "our" job? This is silly.
I totally agree, what's mine is mine, what's his is his and what's ours is our
Silly? Yes, it would be silly to refer to a job as "ours" unless you do it together. But "our house," "our car," "our children" are completely appropriate. In our household, there are very few things I would refer to as "mine" or "his." Clothes and toiletries are about it.
When my husband and I wed we formed a partership, a union, and a family. "I/I" became "we" because we united. Its us against the world, not me against the world and him against the world separately.
My view is that when both partners contribute (in the way that they have agreed to - not just financially), the relationship is equal, and should be treated that way. Equality is sharing - the good, the bad, the responsibilities, and the material and financial objects. In equality, everything is "ours".
It's more than a word, it's a vital position. Without "we" the relationship is in for rough waters, without "we" there is no team, there is joint effort, it's hard to get on the same page. The school of hard knocks have taught me that.
I agree about this being silliness. If I went to dinner with a friend I would say "we went to dinner", why not do the same thing with my husband? Same thing with mine, his, ours, with most things being ours as we're financially bound. Ridiculous.
The sum of the whole is greater than the total of the parts.
"We" is the most obnoxious word in the married vocabulary after "schmoopy." People who suddenly become a "we" are just trying to fill a hole that existed long before the marriage. "I," for one, do not buy this study. Scientists spend a lot of time alone in the lab dreaming of "we."
Um, single, right?
If not now; soon.
Um, isn't that what marriage is all about? "Filling a whole that existed before marriage?" For a lot of people, commitment is the pavement that fills that whole. I'm thinking that if you are in a relationship, you're the one who wears the pants, right? The "I" in marriage was meant for "I do." I wasn't meant in context as in "I alone". I don't know why people let marriage-isms bother them so much. Yes we formed a bond and a promise to each other before God to create "we". We share everything (save for clothes, and even then I steal my husband's shirts periodically and claim them for Scotland as nightgowns! :P) because everything we have is "ours". It's obviously something "for worse" if you can't comfortably use that kind of collaborative vocabulary in your marriage.
The only time I cringe, is the new tendancy to say 'We are pregnant'. Sorry, it annoys me, YOU are pregnant, honey, WE are having a baby, but you are pregnant.
Totally agree with that!
Usually my wife and I have used the term we to mean both of us. I have only used it once in relation to pregnancy, however. When I did, my wife turned to me and gave me the classic Tonto line, "What you mean we white man?"
When my boyfriend and I do something, I'll say 'we.' But if I'm talking about myself or my opinions, I will say 'I.' I don't assume that he has the same opinion as me, for example "WE love bowling!" I let him talk for himself.
Really? On something so inconsequential as bowling?
nikkinala:
Lighten up, It was an example.
The origins of marriage are one of ownership and is why my wife's name is hyphenated. She's her identity and I have mine yet we're one. The only thing my wife and I don't share are her bras.
How do the panties fit? J/K :)
Bet she looks good in your jockstrap.
I think of Venom everytime I hear a couple say it so I am usually laughing at them but I have never gotten that deep in a relationship.
'My' husband and 'I' do not state 'we'. While 'we' have children together, a house, a dog and fish, 'I' have different goals than he does. 'My' accomplishments will be his pride, and his, mine, but 'we' are seperate entities.
We who were two before became one, but share still our own seperate identities. 'We' do not agree on everything, nor would 'I' ever expect him to agree with everything 'I' say. 'I' love him; 'we' do not love him.
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There is no "I" in 'couple' or 'love' either!